im scared and lost.

hello everyone, i came across this website and wanted to discuss a problem with other colleagues. I suffer from PTSD, and have not been back at work for over a year, due to part of that year being used for rehab from physical injury. Ive come from a abused back ground which has now impeded itself on the current situation. factor in the lack of support outside of the work place and the no support from work. People have said to me " get over it your a forensic psychiatric nurse" and youve dealt with prisoners with a mental illness for 7 years ..............and what no one seems to want to understand is im trying to get myself better. But my partner is far from positive and the fact that any friend i had has disappeared within the first few months........makes me feel like a spinal case. Being alone is not something i care for right now, but when you socially isolate yourself it doesnt really help either...........plus my psychiatrist is saying my mind is fractured and this is having an effect on my long term and short term memory.

im sorry this is all over the place, the medication is not actually helping my mind keep a proper focus. I think why im here is too ask for some ideas of how to deal with this. Ive also lost three friends from suicide in the last 12 months and im struggling too........because two of them were nurses in the same facility were i worked and one was a social worker. i had known these people for 7 years and i feel lost. Any suggestions would be helpful as im doing this basically alone. thankyou for reading this and hopefully understanding.