What kind of disorder does this point to?

  1. I tried googling it but can't come up with anything or a way to describe this type of communication and what psychological disorder it commonly accompanies, if any. Maybe one of you knows!

    1) Someone uses third person to describe things they did/think/feel.

    Examples: "It was suggested to him to turn the volume on the TV down so others could talk." Instead of a more direct and appropriate way to say, "I suggested he turn the TV volume down so I could talk.".

    "It could be considered a terrible time in one's life." Instead of a better way, "It was a terrible time in my life."

    "The things that were said were very hurtful." Instead of, "The things you said to me hurt me."

    Other characteristics accompany this person's communication style too.
    2) She asks questions repeatedly, possibly worded very slightly differently when she gets a response she doesn't like, expect or agree with. It's as if she will not let go of a question until it is answered in the manner she needs.

    3) She absolutely cannot accept or discuss the possibility of her being wrong or making a mistake. Being called out on this causes malicious retaliation against the "attacker" and turning the topic on the accusers faults and mistakes. If the "attacker" is not emotionally injured or insulted in return, she becomes livid and decides to have nothing to do with the person.

    4) She rejects people who attempt to get close to her that she has not invited or approved, and controls those closest to her that she has chosen as her minions. If her minions manage to squeak out an opinion contrary to hers, that minion is subsequently threatened and verbally abused until put back in their place. She has the last word.

    5) She uses frequent threats of suing, or involving law authorities to defend her opinion on a matter, because of course she is right and cannot be wrong and is completely justified by any means possible to right the situation, even if use of the justice system is inappropriate to the situation.

    6) She obviously wears her feelings on a sleeve but thinks she is hiding it, and pretends to be unshakable. She cannot tolerate expressing her feelings and is very uncomfortable when others cry and are emotionally and physically expressive.

    7) She is masterful at twisting words, implying meanings and manipulating and lying.

    What kind of person is this!?!? I want to help her and make her better!
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    About paddler

    Joined: Jul '09; Posts: 166; Likes: 81


  3. by   Been there,done that
    Borderline personality.

    You will not be able to change the behaviour . The best you can do is get through the day .
  4. by   BabyRN2Be
    I'm thinking borderline personality disorder. Or something along those lines.

    Emotions run hot or cold towards people or situations.
    Tends to throw a fit if things don't go their way - unable to compromise; manipulative; divisive among staff and group.
    Unable to form healthy relationships. One moment puts friend on pedestal, next moment sees friend as evil - nothing good about them.

    I may be up the wrong creek though.
  5. by   paddler
    Yeah, I don't know either. Thanks for your input, I will look up BPD. If that's the case, there is no changing/helping/fixing it, huh?
  6. by   BabyRN2Be
    paddler - there is an excellent series under the main title "Walking on Eggshells" and subtitled to match the group you are working with.

    Just search for it under "Walking on Egghells" and the list relating to BPD will come up.

    Although the disorder has 'poor prognosis', with multi-faceted treatment and compliance on the patient's part, the disorder can be relatively managed and relationships can be managed as much as the client is willing to work the program.

    I came across this series while trying to help my DH & SIL because I suspected that she had BPD. Both of them cried when they found out their mom's behavior had a name & there were things that could be done. She would never agree to counseling because of her diagnosis, but DH & SIL did as much as they could by settling firm limits among other things. It has worked and she's settled down quite a bit but it's taken time to reach this
  7. by   BabyRN2Be
    (ended too soon)
    It has taken time to reach this point but the family relationships have have stabilized.

    Bless your heart to be willing to help this girl feel better!
  8. by   Silverdragon102
    As per the Terms of Service and your other thread we are closing this thread