I am posting here- Nurse to Nurse, because I am terrified to admit what I am experiencing to a co-worker or counselor. I have been an RN for almost a year in acute care. I have great difficulty organizing my time. I was an excellent student, but am getting concerned. I am having mental blocks, especially at work. I am having memory difficulties and visual problems. Sometimes strange things happen to me. One scary example: I was driving in my vehicle the other day and approached a stoplight and couldn't decide if I was looking at a red or green light. First, it seemed red and then green and then I couldn't tell. I finally decided it was green but couldn't remember if one should stop or go on a green light. As you might imagine, I am distressed about these mental changes. It has been two years since I felt that my mind was clear. I function well at home, although I have several children. I am terrified at work at the hospital and feel I should quit, although I am a single-parent and have much debt. I have a history of victimization and PTSD. I am getting attention at work as an airhead. In other areas of my life and in past vocations, I have proven competence. I do not abuse any drugs and have had ten alcoholic drinks in 20 years. I am a nonsmoker and noncriminal. I am in my forties. Is what I am experiencing the result of great anxiety? The symptoms increase during PMS. I also have some health problems I have been unable to address because of financial reasons. I'm terrified that I am an unsafe provider. I'm terrified that if I seek help, I will bombshell my career and I have a lot of debt and responsibilities. I realize that you are unable to diagnose (although we do internally, every day). Does anyone have any insight for me?
