Friends-- I have only worked PRN in psych, but perhaps you can help me just a bit. My daughter is bipolar and on SSI. She is in her late 20s. She goes through crisis after crisis, and I have tried to be supportive. Her siblings love her, but don't have much patience, her father (my ex) is more troubled than she, and she has a history of conflict with my husband (her step-father). Right now she is getting out of a bad relationship; the guy won't let her have her belongings; she is staying with a guy who is bad news (writ big) and she has lost her driver's license for DUI. I have helped her out financially to some extent, but couldn't begin to address all her debts, even if I wanted too. Still, I am willing to help with the provision of personal toiletries, thrift shop finds, etc. But IT'S NEVER ENOUGH!! 'Specially now when she is in a crisis. Last night she called me twice and hung up on me twice, because I said that my husband was willing to call the boyfriend and we'd pick up her things himself. (It's a complicated operation for us to do this.) She is angry because I said we'd be driving a van, and probably couldn't pick up everything. All or nothing, says she. I tried to stay calm, consider options, but she just started screaming on the phone and hung up.
I know these are her problems, but here's the thing: If I give her less support and expect her to deal with her own life, I'm likely to get a call that she has overdosed, or that she is being d/c from the hospital and come and get her, etc. Or maybe a call that she is in jail? I dread answering the phone. I dread reading the court news in the paper.
I do realize that she is suffering. I hate to see her in such pain.
On the flip side, when she is good, she is bright and funny, caring, helpful and sweet-- just a wonderful daughter.
I am flogging myself thinking of what I have done wrong in raising her (I can think of quite a few things), and I am worried that things will get worse. From past experience, I've found that this is what happens. My sons love their sister, and my husband is quite supportive of me, but fundamentally, I feel quite alone in trying to help my daughter without being destroyed by stress.
PS Closest NAMI group at least 1 1/2 hour drive away. Not really acessible. Local mental health services/family support very very limited.
