I'm relying on the anonymity of the great big internet and the general size of the universe, I'm nervous to go "out there" with myself. Here's my situation: I started a PA program (master's degree) last year and have not liked it in any way. I have struggled academically, psychologically, financially, etc. I excelled through previous graduate work with A- average through 90-some credit hours, I excelled in my pre-reqs with a 3.85 GPA. And I'm here, supposedly at a major goal and I'm miserable. I hate my classmates, I resent them teaching us outdated information, I hate the waste of time that is our patient lab of 40-some students who see our instructors for maybe 5 minutes (how do we learn how to do an exam in that time?). I'm afraid of the reality of taking out $150,000 debt at my age. At the same time, I am surviving on student loans so I'm going forward with winter semester (and who knows, maybe some miracle will happen?).
My original plan was a second career BSN and go on from there to NP. But the DNP "thing" scared me off and I was seduced by the PA curriculum, more clinical hours, could practice in surgery/psych/internal med/pediatrics/etc. PA was a shortcut to what I thought was interchangable.
Now I see from the other side what the "advance practice" advantage truly is: it's about PRACTICING as a nurse and then going on to advance that practice. Not taking a group of non-healthcare providers and making them fit into a square hole. Now I see what "holistic" care is (or maybe I imagine this is what nursing school is): discussing the impact of a diagnosis pulmonary fibrosis or tuberculosis or AIDS on a patient, their family, their lifestyle, helping guide them through those conditions even after writing the diagnosis on the chart and scribbling a prescription.
As a long time lurker here, I know that PAs and nurses (RNs and NPs) don't always play together well. I am very well aware that nursing school is not a walk in the park and that the NP/DNP "thing" looms on the horizon in some way. I know that many of my classmates are equally stressed (one posted on FB about feeling "suicidal") but they're doing better academically then I am.
If anyone is still listening, do you have any input? Experience? Rumors? I am in the process of applying to one nursing program - only you and two very close friends know about this so don't tell :-). How can I convince an admissions committee (and myself) that I can succeed in a BSN program and that I'm not a PA school reject?
Thanks for your time.