Be careful not to let people talk you out of your career ambitions

  1. I just wanted to share a quick story. My mom checked into the emergency room on 1/13/13 due to complications stemming from Chemo and Lung Cancer. She passed away three days later in the ICU. The 14th was the first day of our semester at school. Needless to say, I was spending a great deal of time at the hospital with mom. I brought my A&P book with me to read during the times she was sleeping. An older Nurse walked in one day and asked me why I was taking A&P. I say older, she was actually not much older than I was and I am 46. I told her my ambitions and she scoffed at the notion. She painted me a very bleak picture of Nursing and suggested I shouldn't waste my time. I have to tell you, with my mom laying there on her death bed and me falling behind right out of the gate, I seriously considered dropping the class. I suppose the reason I didn't was for two reasons, one.... I really appreciated watching the care and attention the Nurses gave my mom, and secondly, I knew my mom would be disappointed if I quit. After she passed and I found myself struggling, I could hear her telling me to "get my butt in gear and don't quit". I did struggle with catching up but ended up with an "A" in the class. I dedicate that "A" to my mom. Anyhow, back to the point I wanted to make. There are going to be obstacles, nay Sayers, people telling you to give up, doors not opening that should, family matters, and basic life issues to cope with. It is easy to quit... but as my old ball coach used to say "Quitters never win and winners never quit". If its within you to become a Nurse, don't let anyone or circumstance steal your dream.
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  3. by   LadyFree28
    I had a nurse try I talk me out of nursing during a career day in the was 20 years ago, and I was at a career fair; it was during the time during the Wall Street crash of the 90s...For a brief minute I was going to change my career to writing, until I knew what I wanted to do.

    I stuck with what I wanted to do...been in the business for 13 years, and hope to be here for at least 30 more years...
  4. by   Tobi_RN
    Great post!
  5. by   finallydone14
    First off... I am so sorry for your loss. You are so right though. It's so amazing to me how many people are so negative. I've learned that some of the people are not happy with their own lives. I was an LPN before I became an RN. By the way I just finished school this past may and I took boards and passed in July. Anyway I was working at a nursing home as an LPN and many of my co-workers that were nursing assistants would make crazy comments like... I wouldn't dare be a nurse, I don't see how you do this or when things got hectic they would be like I wouldn't have your job. I would look at them like they're crazy. I didn't want to say anything that would make it seem as though I was looking down on them because they were nursing assistants. I was a nursing assistant before I became an LPN so I have a lot of respect for what they do. But I found out that they were envious and many of them had tried to get in nursing school and couldn't or had failed and given up. And as for the lady that was a nurse and tried to discourage you... I think that's awful. Just because she's burnt out doesn't give her the right to try to rain on your parade. Maybe she needs to try another area or take a break because a person's heart has to be in it if they're going to be a good nurse. I wish you the best of luck and my prayers are with you.
  6. by   whealer
    Thank you for your inspiring story. I'm sorry to hear about your mom but I'm sure she's quite proud of your accomplishments! and just think that you'll be able to provide the same care and compassion to another family in need. Truly inspiring!
  7. by   NurseNanci1
    Well said! I lost my mom in my 3rd semester of nursing school. I had people think it was selfish of me to go and say things like "I could never my mom and I were too close" as if some how my continuing was a reflection of a lack of a relationship with my mom. Those people just wanted to see me fail. My mom would always say to us when we were younger "suck it up" I knew when she passed as much as I wanted to crawl into bed and not get out for days. I had to "suck it up" so many people told me how proud she was that I was finally getting my dream and becoming a nurse. I knew I had to finish not just for me but also to make her proud. I told myself every day "suck it up" and often I'd maintain composure just long enough to get in my car and cry all the way home. I still struggle with the loss because in ways I had to go into denial to get through. I would try and not think about it but if something jarred a memory I'd cry. Finally during the break between 3rd and final semester I had some time to just fall apart and have a good sob. I also gained a lot of weight in semester 3 stuffing my feelings. now that I'm done with the program my goal is to take off the weight gained. I have wanted to be a nurse since I was 15. I hope my mom is looking down on me beaming with pride and knows how much I miss her and that if I had to do it over again I wouldn't care if I got an A in Adult 1 I'd take the B and have spent more time with her instead. thats my only regret is that I allowed nursing school to consume me. I ate breathed and pooped nursing school I had no time for anyone other than my books and studies. I missed out on the last year of my moms life as a result and looking back that A wasn't worth it. A or B I'm still gonna be a good nurse.
  8. by   NurseNanci1
    I have also found that so many people have similar struggles it helps me to not get into "poor me" mode. I think the one thing we all have in common is bad things happen to us all. What makes us different is how we over come them.
  9. by   DadStudentPerhaps
    Quote from NurseNanci1
    I have also found that so many people have similar struggles it helps me to not get into "poor me" mode. I think the one thing we all have in common is bad things happen to us all. What makes us different is how we over come them.
    Very True :-)
  10. by   DadStudentPerhaps
    Thanks everyone for the comments about Mom. I like to think she may gone physically, but I still feel her presence in my life everyday. She was quite a lady :-)
  11. by   megkat
    This is a great post!

    My father-in-law is the kind of guy that lives in the here and now... which is nice and all but he has a really hard time understanding why I'm "wasting" so much time in school. We had a conversation a few weeks back about the fact that I still have 4 years left before I graduate. I made a conscious decision to split my pre-reqs into two years so I can put as much time and effort as possible into the classes I take to get the best grade I can before applying to the nursing program. He said "You need to look at how much money you are going to put into your education and what the return on your investment is going to be." To be honest, I'm going to a state university and my tuition is really not bad at all. My husband and I are able to pay for it in cash each semester, so I have no loans and no post-college debt. So I will make back what I put into school in my first year working as an RN 3 times over. He told me I'd be better off working for $10 an hour and quitting school so I can start making money now instead of having to wait until I graduate. SERIOUSLY dude?! Cause that makes a TON of sense. Be stuck just like you... No thanks.
    Well quite frankly, I think he's jealous. He never did anything significant with his life. He is in a dead end job and has been in the same position for the past 15 years with no chance of advancement.
    I'm finishing my pre-req's and then going for my BSN so I have options in the future. The way I look at it is that I am still young(ish) and I'm doing this to give me and my family a better life in the future. And if he can't understand that then I feel sorry for him.

    There is nothing anyone can say to me to change my mind about my future career. So suck it naysayers.
  12. by   roxalot
    I wish I had followed this advice 15 years ago. I let two friends who were RNs all me out of doing nursing school. I just floated around college and ended up being a Chemistry major. I've never been happy with that. Then later on I wanted to go to nursing school and my parents talked me out if it. Said I couldn't do it (I was a single mom at the time).

    This time NO one is talking me out of it. The biggest thing I figured out though, was to not tell people what I'm doing (other than my husband of course, who is totally supportive).

    I wish I had been more like the OP when I was younger. I lived and learned though. Moral of the story, don't ever let anyone talk you out of what you feel you want to do.
  13. by   sno87
    Someone made a comment about the nay sayers being people not happy with their own lives. I couldn't agree more. I have had everyone around me (excluding my immediate family) try to discourage me from my "friends", counselors, co-workers, people who should be supportive but are not. People who are stuck in dead end jobs and are miserable, and we all know "misery loves company". I had "friends" who would stop at nothing to discourage me with going forward with my dream, telling me it's too late, or saying that I would be selfish to go back to school when I should be working (at the same dead end job as them) to take care of my daughter, or asking how I could afford it. Now I am two classes away from reaching my goal which is finishing my pre-reqs to apply for nursing school. Thanks for the great post!
  14. by   DadStudentPerhaps
    The way I see it, Medicine is the one job that remains stable and there will always be a demand for it.... It is also a position that offers promotion and is available all over the country. Honestly, I make six figures in my current position, and made about 30K more than my wife did this year. She has been a RN at the same hospital for 27 years. I'm not taking classes now to earn higher wages. With all the craziness in the job market, and all the people who have lost their jobs over the past few years because of the economy, plus new rules under the AHCA, I think it is a no brainier, the medical field is the place to be. Also, as I posted above, just watching the care given to my mom as she was in and out of the hospital for 5 years battling cancer, I grew to respect what Nurses do even more. Honestly, I guess I never paid attention to exactly how instrumental the RNs role was in ensuring the overall care and comfort of their patients. That may seem strange, having been married to a RN for 23 years and dating her for six years before that. However, I have been going to my same job for the past 25 years and my wife and I really don't talk much about work at home. We prefer to leave work at the door when we leave to come home. My wife is now back in school to become a Nurse Practitioner, and my youngest daughter is looking foreword to becoming a Doctor. She's only 11 now, but she reads everything she can now about science and medicine. I hope her passion does not subside and she goes into the medical field. I know I've been pre-paying for her education since her birth :-) Anyhow, it's good to hear from people on these boards. There are a lot of inspirational stories being shared by many people, and that is important when you hit a rough patch along the way. Don't let anyone talk you out of becoming whatever you aspire to be!