relationship blues-school or love

Nursing Students SRNA

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Specializes in critical care.

I am writing this cause it seems to be a no win situation..It is supposed to be the sweetest of torture...A challenging job that comes with the price of intense schooling and life altering decisions..You know you have to graduate to be happy but meanwhile...the love of your life is giving you a hard time from what I think is resent. Only glimpses of happiness are noted. I never thought I would be getting such mixed emotions from my other half....you thrive for having a chance to have this intense mound of knowlege...then all of a sudden...the relationship that was supposed to be your back bone breaks on me. My shoulder to cry on and feel supported has been pulled from me...School is starting in 5 month....I am no way stopping from obtaining the dream to finish...is there common ground? Did anyone else go through mad breakups before/during school? How did you get through it.I know that time is a factor....but how can the blow just be a bit softer?

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changed,

check out this thread:

https://allnurses.com/forums/f16/single-srnas-93159.html?highlight=single

unfortunately, the quote from the movie "the shining": "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy..." rings true. years of reading posts on this board have shown that significant others must be totally steadfast and supportive of srnas throughout their education. there have been allnurses srna members who broke up before school, lost significant others along the way, even divorced. as i read your post, i can see that you are experiencing an emotionally painful relationship. however, you must obviously be one of the best and brightest, as you will start your na graduate education in a few months. stay focused and be aware that his/her lack of support is an ominous sign of how things may turn out.

:.:.:.hugs:.:.::icon_hug:

courage,

ether

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Move on, you only needed positive people around you when this program starts. My relationship of 6 years ended in the middle of the program. It sucked but I'm happier now. If they can't be supportive before school starts they will never make it through the program with you.

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Funny that I started the last thread and now I'm giving you advice, but here goes. Coug said it right. You need the support of postive people around you for the completion of this arduous task of CRNA school. Honestly, if your foundation skipped out on you before school even started, then it would most certainly have ended soon thereafter anyway. A three year relationship ended with me personally just after school started. It sucked for quite a while, but you will grow and mature beyond your belief in the next few years.

You have to realize this is your time. This is your time shine, your time to grow professionally, take that next step and move ahead in life. If others try to complicate things or drag you down, then you have to make the right decision for you. I'm not saying abandon all that you know in the name of school, but do not let the neediness of others or jealousy ruin what you have worked for thus far. You are on the verge of greatness and sometimes it takes severing some drag to rise high.....(a little cheesy but it seemed appropriate).

Hang in there. Your life is about to become the greatest challenge you have ever experienced. Enjoy the ride. If you need some insight during your first couple of months (which were the hardest for me as I was out of the hospital), go to one of your school's clinical sites and ask to follow a CRNA. Sometimes seeing where you will end up instead of where you are currently is a major morale booster.

I have yet to meet an unhappy CRNA. There is a reason for that.

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Specializes in ER.
Funny that I started the last thread and now I'm giving you advice, but here goes. Coug said it right. You need the support of postive people around you for the completion of this arduous task of CRNA school. Honestly, if your foundation skipped out on you before school even started, then it would most certainly have ended soon thereafter anyway. A three year relationship ended with me personally just after school started. It sucked for quite a while, but you will grow and mature beyond your belief in the next few years.

You have to realize this is your time. This is your time shine, your time to grow professionally, take that next step and move ahead in life. If others try to complicate things or drag you down, then you have to make the right decision for you. I'm not saying abandon all that you know in the name of school, but do not let the neediness of others or jealousy ruin what you have worked for thus far. You are on the verge of greatness and sometimes it takes severing some drag to rise high.....(a little cheesy but it seemed appropriate).

Hang in there. Your life is about to become the greatest challenge you have ever experienced. Enjoy the ride. If you need some insight during your first couple of months (which were the hardest for me as I was out of the hospital), go to one of your school's clinical sites and ask to follow a CRNA. Sometimes seeing where you will end up instead of where you are currently is a major morale booster.

I have yet to meet an unhappy CRNA. There is a reason for that.

I'm probably out of place in this forum as I am only pre-nursing, but I know exactly how you are feeling. My boyfriend and I (we have been living together for 3 years, together for 4) are falling apart as a result of my schooling. Between work and school, I'm putting in so many hours a day that I barely have time to sleep. And he's beginning to resent the fact that I will be making better money than him, and that I have much more career opportunity ahead of me than he ever will. He'd be happy to just work his labor job 40 hrs a week and sit at home drinking beer with me the rest of the time. But I want more than that, and thought we both did. It is so hard to break up a relationship that has gone for so long and stood so many hardships already. When you love someone from being with them so long but your goals in life are now different, you become a couple who loves each other but is no longer in love. It is such a difficult place to be, especially with the stress of school on your plate, but I have come to the conclusion that if you love what you're doing and it makes you happy, nothing should stand in your way. Your own happiness must come before anyone else's, no matter how selfish that sounds. You cannot truly make someone else happy to be with you if you are not happy with yourself. Whatever it takes, do what you need to be happy, and you will eventually find someone who can share in that happiness and support you in your life rather than want you to be someone else just to make them happy. I guess my rambling point is that no matter how hard it is, sometimes you have to make tough decisions to get to the place you want to be.

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Specializes in NICU,ICU,PACU,IV Therapy.

I too was in a similar situation. My wife and I had been together for 18 years and married for 13 when she decided to leave because she thought I didnt want to have children.(poor excuse) I had communicated with her on many occations (which she agreed) that we should wait until after Im done with CRNA school to have children due to the stress of school/clinical. I was so happy to have gone to 2 interviews but due to lack of experience it was recommended to continue to work another year and re-interview. After the interviews were done my wife left me and I was devestated needless to say. I was very saddened but I realized I didnt need to be with someone that was so shallow. It has taken me some time to get back on my feet but what I learned from this was I should have spent more time with family and not so focused on education. I am moving forward with my life and career but in a balaced approach. It seems like such a cliché but I am better off today than 2 years ago.

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Specializes in critical care.

Thank you all for the insight...

Currently it has gone to the point of not having the ability to even be friends...My approach to them after a really terrible arguement a few days ago was to try to at least be friends. I called and got the " I wish we never met and you never loved me BS" It is such a wrench to my heart...I can't tell the difference in anger or truth. I know that time will help either way...I just feel like a loser for loving so passionately...to have something like this be the end outcome. Four years is a long time to be with someone and then all of a sudden the story goes to a night mare...I just don't think that this is how it has to be...I am having a really hard time with it...

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I've decided that I am not going to hold my life up and not date anyone because of the possibility of what is happening to you happening to me. But I have also decided that if I find myself in you position that the career I've been working so hard for, for so long is my choice. If you are just torturing yourself over this then you need to seek some counseling. You are starting school in 5 months and you have worked very hard for the opportunity to do so; don't let another person stop you from that goal. Get some couseling and get yourself mentally prepared for school. And remember that there are 293 million people in the United States, and that surely when you get your life where you have been striving to get it that you can find someone that is more supporting than the current person who is being very unsupportive of you. In simple terms, "Stiffen up that upper lip soldier."

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You know, one could go into all the other cliches, glamour magazine bs....but basically you just got to say F#$k em! This person is obviously not the one and is a wussy loser for jumping ship at this point in time...don't sweat it it happens to everyone and isn't easy...this too shall pass. In a few months you'll be so busy that you won't have time to dwell on it and will have made new friends that will fill the void. Remember the close friendships you made in nursing school? Tough times lead to great bonding. Besides, if this person can't handle it now then they certainly would have bailed later when it really gets dicey...so short story is this person has actually done you a favor!

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Specializes in Anesthesia.

2 weeks before our CRNA program started, my good friend's husband had an affair and left her. They had been together since she was 16 and they had been married for over two years. Needless to say, she was devastated. Long story short, he couldn't deal with the fact that she was more successful than he was and he did not want her to start the program b/c he wanted to move back to their hometown. The first semester was really rough for her and I honestly don't know how she pulled through (I doubt I could have been as strong as her). But she filed for divorce and has slowly been building herself back up. She has a great support system, lots of friends in the program, and a great family standing behind her. She was torn apart, but she was determined not to let anything stand in the way of her dreams (she had specifically moved to the area to attend school). I guess the point I'm trying to make is that if this is something you really want, then you shouldn't let this get in your way. Surround yourself with people that will take you higher. Obviously this person was not the one to do that or he would still be by your side supporting you. Things have a funny way of working themselves out. Although it's hard to see the big picture right now, I have a feeling you will look back in 5 or so years and say to yourself "what was I thinking??? I can't believe I was going to let ______ stop me from achieving all that I have now." Everything happens for a reason. Best of luck to you!!!!

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"It is better to have loved and lost than to never haved loved at all"

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Specializes in critical care.

It has been a few days...

No phone calls no sign of existance...to each other....

This board is helping me heal...I have a difficult time talking about it to anyone...Writing is helpful...I have been on the couch way toooo long.

Upon Reflecting the past few days...here is where I am at...

1. I know that I would never spare my acceptance to NA school...

2. It is nice to go places and not feel bad about having to check in...I am realizing the amount of control I gave him...

3. The resent is the fuel to cause all of this....

4. I still believe that words should not shatter a friendship that easily...it must have been building up on both ends...

5. You all are right...they are doing me a favor...that is so incredibly devastating...It is better to be happening now than during school...

6.Even thought i have all this insight...it still doesn't make sense...

I find myself doing lotsa YOGA...:idea:

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