Parents of kids with autism, please read

I was responding to another poster who mentioned some of the things I mentioned . . .peeing outside for example.

I do not think what I'm describing qualifies as indicative of autism.

I did not mean to say that autism makes a person abnormal - I was responding to the post about some behaviors I think are the norm in boys . . can't think of a better word right now. I do not think your son is abnormal.

I also mentioned I was not trying to make anyone mad . . . it just seemed like the post mentioning behaviors my kids exhibited was NOT autism. And I also realized that that poster was probably just mentioning "the tip of the iceberg".

Really, I'm not trying to make you mad.

steph

One of the hazards of posting - people can't necessarily determine intent. I was truly not being flippant.

The difference between 4 and 6 is not that great - alot of the antics my boys did happened in elementary school.

I'm not trying to be unkind - I apologize if it appeared unkind.

steph

My twin sister has two sets of twins (both sets girls), and then the last pregnancy was a single child. A beautiful boy. How exciting! It's a boy. Two - three years later, things just werent adding up right. But certainly it wasn't anything to "look into". Denial. What a vice grip it can be.

Now my beautiful nephew is 7 years old, and my sister is working through all of the various ups and downs by writing. It has become quite a counseling tool for her. She has even come far enough along to want to help others with their own "acceptance". She is currently writing a book about her experiences, beginning from the moment the nagging feeling of something being awry started seeping into her thoughts, to where she is now, and what she plans for the future.

She has recently written a poem that captures some of the feelings. I asked her if I could share it here, and she said yes. So here it is, I hope someone gets something out of it, my sister would be glad.

DENIAL

The form of fear is cold and black.
It’s bony fingers on my back.
Toward turbulence it forces me,
A thrashing, murky, threatening sea.

One direction. No escape.
Fear pushes me toward darkest fate.
And in I plunge; despair runs deep,
Pleading, hope come rescue me.

Through endless tears a spark of hope,
Evoking child memory.
How Moses though his speech be slow
Was used by God still mightily.

But heart of mine, please cease to bleed,
Desperate aching to move on.
Perspective change, my greatest need
I cannot do it on my own.

God, these gifts bestow on me:
-Take my sorrow; lend me joy
-Denial’s grip and fear release
-Accept autism, to help my boy.

Ó By Brenda Olson

My son is 9. His area of interest recently change from Harry Potter (4-5 years) to Star Wars. He has about 3 good friends that like and/or put up with his oddities and keep an eye out for him at school and he is oddly popular with some of the older kids because of his love for video games at which he excels. He memorized many of the "cheat codes" and other tricks to complete the various games, so the older kids seek him out for advice. He also memorizes dates and keeps mental lists, which I find helpful.

He is in trouble at school for wandering and "getting lost" somewhat frequently. I didn't tell the school that he is not actually lost as he has the whole school floor plan memorized (including the janitor closets, nooks and crannies, etc). He just likes to go check out certain places at times and will slip off if not supervised. He seems to do this when bored or overwhelmed. I like the school to think he's lost so they will go find him, though.

He recently has had a kid that bugs him by calling him "Star Wars Boy" and pushing him into girls. His first bully, I guess (3rd grade). His friends help a lot when this happens by helping my son out of the situation or tattling on the problem kid.

He is very bright and his IQ is high, but he is also a poor student. I know that sounds like a conflict, but I'm not sure how best to describe it. DH works with him for about an hour a day (weekends included) on school work or stuff from the teachers store. We do this instead of school tutoring.

He takes social skills training, pragmatic language therapy and physical/occupation therapy at school. I use "Social Skills Activities for Special Children" by Mannix and a couple of books (both) called "What Would You Do?" (by different authors) at home.

I'm always amazed at the cruelty of children, and even more amazed at the fact that "bullying experiences" are a common part of a childs life. The fact that your son (and my nephew) already have issues to deal with, and then have the "bully" circumstances to navigate, is a crying shame.

Good luck to you and your family.

Blue

As a none Premium member, I agree that this stuff needs to go somewhere others like me can see it. My Son is almost 13 and has Aspergers. When he was first diagnosed we kept our heads below the parapet and avoided giving him a "label" but still found that we had to tell people involved with him that he was Aspie as because he looks "Normal" it was almost as if we were being accused of making his problems up!

My son is autistic. i think we can share a lot of info amongst ourselves, and for our autistic patients.