So I'm a new grad who works in an OR. No experience in the OR prior. We had 4 weeks of classroom training and then on to preceptorship. I'm on week 4 of preceptorship (3 scrubbing and 1 circulating). There is so much information and so much to remember. My preceptor is nice enough but I'm sure she thinks I'm an idiot. This is a career change and it's not my first job. I was an Administrator at a large College for over 15 years. I have several issues that are really bringing me down.....and I mean to tears! Everyday I just want to cry because:
Everyone is SOOOOO busy that they basically treat me like an after thought. My preceptor tries to teach me but we are under so much pressure to get the room ready that it doesnt leave much time to teach. They pick for the cases and are not including me in the process.
No one is interested in being friendly....my boss doesn't look at me or even say hello but is buddy buddy with everyone else. There are a few people who are nice but everyone is very removed and I'm clearly an outsider that will not be welcomed in. My boss said I would meet with her every Friday but this never has happened since the first week. She doesn't seem to have any interest in me or how I'm doing. This is starting to really irk me......I just don't get it.
I feel like I'm gonna just cry at any moment. I feel depressed and sad and hate going to work. I am thankful I'm wearing a mask so no one can see my whole face. I'm trying to be upbeat but I'm so miserable.
This plus all the MD have no patience for trainees and act line the hate me, I'm so sad.......