First off: *hugs* Secondly, the OR is a tough area of nursing to learn and we are all still constantly learning. I came to the OR from the Mental Health Unit and was overwelmed too during my orientation. My manager said to me that the OR attracts big personalities and she was right. There are a lot of personalities and a lot of circulators seem to struggle with relinquising control. That being said, do you have an OR nurse educator that you can speak to and even debrief with at the end of day? It can be helpful to do this with either your educator or preceptor because as you stated sometimes there is not enough time in the course of the day to answer all the questions that may arise.
Do you have access to Alexander's Care of the Patient During Surgery textbook? If so, it may be helpful for you to read up on your cases the day before to prep for them. I also send my orientees down to Central Sterile Services or CPD for several days to put instrument sets together and pull case carts. This helps familiarize new to the OR folk with the instrumentation (crucial for counts..) and what instrumentation will be needed for cases.
Keep asking to assist with picking cases, eventually they have to let you
I found the more persistent I was to learn the more respect I got from my coworkers. Remember, you are not an idiot nor are you stupid. This is a COMPLETELY different environment than the academia that you are used to. You are learning a new specialty, meeting new people, establishing new working relationships, learning a new facility's procedures, and are a newer RN on top of that. You have a lot on your plate.
I'm here to help if you need any more advice or a shoulder to lean on! Hang in there, I promise you it will get easier!