I am a 23 year old nurse who has been working on a surgical oncology floor for my first year of nursing. It's a well-known hospital and we have patients from all over the world come for treatment. My floor, from what many others (float pool nurses, nurses floating from other floors) say, our floor is the hardest in the hospital due to the severe illnesses of our patients and the vast amount of technical knowledge we are expected to know (5 surgical teams, 2 medical teams all on our 30 bed unit).
When I started working, I knew oncology was where I wanted to be. I wanted the continuous personal relationships with my patients, to build bonds, to feel like I'm helping them, and to have some continuity I knew I wouldn't get in a regular medical-surgical unit. I LOVE my patients, but our floor is so, SO surgically oriented I'm severely lacking that interpersonal connection. While we do have many patients that we see as repeats, it's usually due to surgical complications, and we're so busy we have no time to sit and chit chat. Those rare nights I get the chance to really talk to a patient and their family are the best nights for me. I feel fulfilled. There is also a lack of support from doctors (mostly residents...) and many ethical issues I feel I face at work that I'm not entirely comfortable with.
I have the option to move to an entirely medical oncology floor (well, apply at least). While the prospect sounds AMAZING, I'm a little frightened. I've floated up there and know that it's definitely more laid back and the nurses get that 1:1 care I desire, I'm kind of stuck about leaving. Firstly, I'm scared the team won't be as good. Our crew on this floor helps each other, we're cohesive, and I've got my skill set far above my peers that have graduated and worked at other hospitals. I've worked with many more lines and drains than I thought I would, and I'm also a little nervous to lose those skills.
Additionally, I don't know what to say to my manager. While I'm happy at my job, I ultimately want to move into palliative care/hospice, because I feel like that's my calling, but I'm not ready to leave the hospital just yet and I feel like this transition makes sense, but we've had so many nurses leave our floor in the last year that I'm scared she might block me or feel the need to chat with me prior to letting me go.
I have no contract holding me here, 6/8 of the nurses I was hired with have left to go other places.
I'm just so torn.
TL;DR: I love my team, but want more time with my patients. Should I move to a calmer floor, or stick it out here a couple more years and move to hospice?
Any input would be helpful...I need some less biased input. I've heard so many varying opinions.