A personal oncology story

[Toronto1977, BSN, LPN, RN]

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share my journey so far because it's a very surreal time in my life and I feel many of you will understand my passion for this field, given my story.

In my early teens, I watched my mom fight leukemia (AML). She relapsed 4 times in 5 years and was not at all expected to make it. She did. I was always so inspired watching her fight for her life, and by the team that cared for her and cheered her on. She enjoyed the next twenty years, living life to the fullest.

Last year, I finally decided to take the leap and do my pre reqs and apply to nursing. My goal has always been oncology. At 37, I was so nervous to start this journey – I'm going to school at what age?! I joke that by the time I graduate, it'll be time to wheel myself right into a nursing home, but at least I can take care of myself in there. I didn't tell my mom at first, but she got it out of me. I feared getting her hopes up and being rejected. In December, I was rejected. Conditional offers were not an option and I hadn't quite finished the pre reqs yet. I felt awful having to tell her.

But I picked myself up. In March, I downsized and moved, anticipating this life change and preparing myself, even though I hadn't heard back yet on my 2^nd application. Two days after I move in, I get a call. Mom is in the hospital. She has stage 4 lung cancer. She does not want to fight this time, and the family respects this. We spend all the time we can with her and support her on her journey. She tells us she needs peace before she goes. With me, she wants to know I'm taken care of and successful…this means acceptance to nursing. I am currently in a dead end job and struggling, and she always worried about me. I fear I won't be able to give her this gift as we are both anticipating I will not get accepted this semester, and will have to wait for a September start.

A week later, I am at her bedside and finally able to say, Mom, I got accepted into nursing school, I start in May!” It was a ray of sunshine on a bad day. She sits up, cries and hugs me with all her strength. I cry to, as it is so wonderful to hear her say she is proud of me one last time. It is a treasured moment, I will never forget. Whoever it is at Seneca College (Toronto, Ontario) that decides who is a yes and who is a no…you have no idea the gift you've given my mom and I by accepting me for this semester. I am eternally grateful.

She passed away two days ago. I was laying in bed with her, my sister on her other side. I told her to not be afraid, to go towards the light, to let go, she is never alone, and we are taken care of. It is a sad time yes, because I've lost my mom, but I feel relief that her struggle is over and she is free, healthy, and looking down on me from above, and that is a good thing.

Apologies for the long post, but I wanted to share my story because I feel it is special. But also because it makes me wonder – why did you get into the area you're in? My goal has always been oncology, for obvious reasons, and now that mom has lost her battle, my goal is reinforced that much more, but I'm curious how and why you all ended up where you are?

Thanks for listening. :)

[gosia29]

Awww, you are going to do well and make your mom proud. You will be a great nurse one day!

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

I became interested in pediatric oncology when I was in about the 5th grade. It was after I read "Six Months to Live" by Lurlene McDaniel (which, in retrospect, was probably not terribly accurate. No one with acute leukemia would survive 6 months without treatment and the vast majority of children survive leukemia much longer than 6 months with treatment). I think I read every book that woman ever wrote throughout middle school, all about dying teenagers. Is it any wonder I became a pediatric nurse?

[SierraBravo]

Great post! Thank you for sharing.

[NutmeggeRN, BSN]

Thanks you for sharing, so sorry for your loss.

[K23RN]

Wow! Thanks for sharing your story. My condolences to you for your loss. Definitely rely on your motivation to get you through nursing school. I also was an 'older' nursing student and graduated in my mid 30s, though there were a handful of students older than me that affirmed that it's definitely never too late to heed the call to nursing! I really felt a strong connection to my oncology patients in clincals, and after a couple of years in med-surg I was fortunate enough to make the move to BMT. Some days are very difficult, but the long-term relationships with the patients make it very worthwhile. Best of luck to you in your nursing journey!

[nuangel1, BSN, RN]

Thanks for sharing

[sevillje]

I can definitely feel your love and passion with this post.

My father passed away this December 2014 because of liver cancer. I always smile when I remember him telling the nurse at the hospital he was admitted, "be careful, he will take your job one day."

Nursing is about commitment, the right attitude and passion. Without those three, being a nurse is quite meaningless.

You know by now that I also go to Seneca for the Nursing program. If ever you have any questions, send me a private message and I'll help you out. :)

[Tree5981, ADN, BSN, MSN]

What a beautiful story. I love hearing these stories. I picked oncology mostly because my mother in law had lung cancer and passed away from that as well. I was so angry at the way she was treated in the ER by the nurses. I promised I would never treat anyone with so little compassion. Oncology patients are very special to me. I treat them all as if they were my family. I enjoy the journey I take with them through their disease. The emotional aspect can be a lot to handle when you get attached. But there are some patients that touch your life in such a beautiful way and stay in your heart forever. Also, oncology nurses are the most compassionate, patient, kind, and understanding nurses I have ever worked with.

[breezy7, BSN, RN]

I am sending so much love your way. This post is making me cry; I wish I could reach out and give you a hug.

I'm a new graduate nurse, and I unexpectantly have an interview in Oncology on Monday. It seems fitting - my dad is currently battling Stage 3 colon cancer and, after both chemo and radiation tx, he will be having surgery in mid-May. It would be wonderful to be able to give him the gift that I will be an Oncology nurse prior to his surgery. Afterwards, he has four months of chemo to face, and being able to reassure/help/support him in his time of need would be amazing.

I'm not sure what the outcome of this interview on Monday will be, but I'm incredibly hopeful.

[JenniferWilson74]

CLNormand, thank you for sharing this very personal post. Firstly, you are not too old to start nursing school, not even close. I just graduated, and I am 40, soon to be 41. When I decided to become a nurse, I was 34... It's been a long journey for me, because I dropped out of high school when I was 17, and had to start in pre-algebra. This alone set me back years, and beyond that, it seemed like one roadblock after the other, but I never quit.

I got accepted to nursing school at age 37, and just a few months after I got my acceptance letter, I got a call from my mother. Her breast cancer had come back for the third time in 7 years, and this time, it was advanced, and didn't look good. My mother had been a fighter since birth, when she was born so premature that the doctors put her on a table to die. But 24 hours later, when she was still alive, they thought maybe they should feed her or something, and obviously, she lived. This is what my mother told me anyway (; So when I started nursing school (a 3 yr program), there was always this tentativeness, like would my mother live to see me graduate? If she took a turn for the worst, what would I do? Drop from the program? Every semester began with a heavy heart, because I didn't know how much more time my mother had, or if/when I should drop out to go be with her (she lived about 6 hrs away). The answer came 1 month into my 4th (of 6) semesters. They had given her a 2 month break from chemo, to let her body recover, and when they did the body scan, it had spread like wild fire through her body, and they put her on Hospice. I got the message, and I left school that day, packed my bags and went to be with her, until the end.

I remember my mother telling me that every time she went to get chemo infusions, she would tell the nurses how I was in school to become an RN. She was so proud, as I know your mother was.

I just graduated, and I am a refined 40-yrs-old, soon to be 41, aging like a fine wine (; I thought my age would be an issue when looking for employment, but as it turns out, my life experience actually gives me an advantage. I got into a coveted new-grad program, and as though the stars and universe aligned, I got hired onto the oncology floor.

If this is where your heart is, go for it! What you lack in youth, you make up for in life experience. Never doubt yourself, or the value of what you have to offer. And when you graduate, your mother will be there with you in spirit, and she will be beaming with pride, I have no doubt.

[Toronto1977, BSN, LPN, RN]

Wow, Jennifer, thank you so much for responding and telling your story - it's similar to mine!

Like your mom, my mom told every nurse that walked into her room about me. One day I came in and she had made them write Seneca on her whiteboard so she could remember the name of the school I'd be going to. I laughed, it was cute. She saw only the humour in her situation and often joked about the strong pain meds and the 'trip' they took her on, and why she was a bit forgetful by then, which explains name on the whiteboard. The nurse would bring her meds in and she'd say, 'great, my girls can sit here and watch me get high as a kite. LOL Ok mom.

I do agree, that what we lack in youth, we make up for in life experience, and I feel this is one of the many reasons I will succeed now as a nurse. I wasn't ready before.

Congratulations on your graduation, I'm sure your mom is so proud and is with you all the time. :)