What's the craziest thing a patient or family member has said to you?

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

I think out of my 15 years, the one thing that really seemed the strangest to me was the following story:

I had a middle aged married couple. Both were employed, and in fairly responsible jobs. She had done well all during labor, and she reached 10cm without inicident. So, we started talking about pushing. I explained what I needed from her, and they both listened attentively. The next contraction came, and she push amazingly well for a primip, so I was full of praise. Then comes the weirdness. The husband looked at her, looked at me, and asked, "Why, exactly, are you making her do this?" I was a bit confused, and asked him what he meant. "Why are you making her do this? What's it for?" I was absolutely shocked at this point, and responded, "To get the baby out." He was enraged. "Are you kidding me? There's not a better way?" Umm, no. "Well, how in the h@)) long is she supposed to do it?" Umm, until the baby comes out. He was not at all happy with this, and muttered about the idiocy of modern medicine, we put a man on the moon, why couldn't we come up with a better way, etc. I kept feeling like I must be on Candid Camera. The wife seemed just as confused as he, but at least she was nice. I've heard lots of crazy stuff, much of it that would have been at home on the set of Jerry Springer, but that one definitely confused me the most.

So, what's been said to you that really made you say, "What the heck?":down:

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Had a GYN patient once---very fresh out of surgery, mind you; less than 2 hours. Went to her room at start of shift to assess her. She looked at me and grinned ear-to-ear. I asked what was so amusing. She said, "oh well you just caught me in the middle of pleasuring myself!". Ummmmm ok. So I said, half-jokingly, barely missing a beat, mind you----"would you like a *do not disturb sign* put on your door?" She answered in the affirmative, only adding, it would not bother her if I cared to join her!!!! (ewwwwwwwwwwwwww my coffee came up a bit on that one). I laugh about it today.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

PS I actually met a "colostitute" once. They DO exist!:speechless:

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

EVERY OB nurse with any experience, has a tragic story of the patient who either:

Is in total denial about being pregnant right up til they go into labor

or

Is in total denial about NOT being pregnant, presenting with an abdomen of the correct girth and shape to BE pregnant, even though slim everywhere else, but surely is *not* pregnant.

BOTH made me sad in my career, particularly the 13 year old who had "never had sex" ( I bet she was raped) who came in 38 weeks' pregnant in full-blown labor, and despite hearing the U/S heartbeat, swore up and down it was impossible, because she never, ever had sex.

OB was not all candy canes and pink ribbons, that was for sure.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

OH here is another. Working in a OB/GYN office. Had a couple there who at an elderly age were childless. Not for lack of trying. When the dr. examined the patient, we discovered why. Her URETHRA looked like a lady partsl introitus. Yep, that was where he was putting it,when they had sex all their 40 years, plus or minus. She was, for all intents and purposes, a "virgin", having never used her lady parts for sex. They mixed up the "holes" I guess? True story.

Another one. A lady came in GYN office with lady partsl pain and foul odor. Dr. took a look and there was a !!potato!! in her hoo-ha. Yep, it had been there a while, too, having literally "taken root" in her lady parts. Yes,the thing had roots. Seems in the "olden days" women used potatoes as pessaries for lady partsl/uterine prolapse. She just forgot to "change" hers. Was a mess, to say the least. True story.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

OK I am remembering too much. How about the one where the woman brings in her mucus plug in a Mason jar, declaring she "is now in labor" thanks to the mucus plug passing. Like our OB said, "ah the ceremonial passing of the mucus plug". Yep I got the fun of explaining the facts, while asking her to take her Mason jar back home, plug and all. Yuck.

Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.
OH here is another. Working in a OB/GYN office. Had a couple there who at an elderly age were childless. Not for lack of trying. When the dr. examined the patient, we discovered why. Her URETHRA looked like a lady partsl introitus. Yep, that was where he was putting it,when they had sex all their 40 years, plus or minus. She was, for all intents and purposes, a "virgin", having never used her lady parts for sex. They mixed up the "holes" I guess? True story.

Another one. A lady came in GYN office with lady partsl pain and foul odor. Dr. took a look and there was a !!potato!! in her hoo-ha. Yep, it had been there a while, too, having literally "taken root" in her lady parts. Yes,the thing had roots. Seems in the "olden days" women used potatoes as pessaries for lady partsl/uterine prolapse. She just forgot to "change" hers. Was a mess, to say the least. True story.

Ohh em gee!!! That sounds so painful! I'm guessing it had to have started out quite large for it to even work for that situation but omg!!!

Specializes in Med-Surg.
EVERY OB nurse with any experience, has a tragic story of the patient who either:

Is in total denial about being pregnant right up til they go into labor

or

Is in total denial about NOT being pregnant, presenting with an abdomen of the correct girth and shape to BE pregnant, even though slim everywhere else, but surely is *not* pregnant.

BOTH made me sad in my career, particularly the 13 year old who had "never had sex" ( I bet she was raped) who came in 38 weeks' pregnant in full-blown labor, and despite hearing the U/S heartbeat, swore up and down it was impossible, because she never, ever had sex.

OB was not all candy canes and pink ribbons, that was for sure.

I once had a pt who was pregnant with twins. She went into labor at 25 weeks, and had to be rushed to emergency c-section. Unfortunately, despite my colleagues' hard work, one baby died in the OR and the other in ambulance on the way to the children's hospital.

It was such a sad case to work with. Mom's level of grief was such that she convinced herself she had been pregnant with triplets, not twins, because she could still feel movement in her abdomen. We kept explaining that this was normal, but she refused to accept it. On her last day, she started insisting that we do an ultrasound to check. I don't know if they did during day shift before her discharge.

And while sure, there's always somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who had this happen to them, I strongly doubt it was the case with this could. They were a tad bit off to begin with..

What about "my water broke" and it was SEMEN!....lol!

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE when they come in to rule-out SROM and when you ask if they have had sex recently, it's ALWAYS "NO". Then you got to go in and see all the sperm on the microscope slide. That, of course, was in the days when we had to verify ferning on a slide. Fun times when you had to confront them, telling them it was semen, not SROM causing "that discharge". I mean, you have had sex, you got pregnant *somehow*. But nope, too embarassed to admit it.:sarcastic:

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