The nightmare...dealing with fetal demises - page 2

I want to know if anyone else has ever had the unfortunate occasion to believe that MHR was FHR in the case of a fetal demise. I am kicking myself (and I know I shouldn't) because I was unable to... Read More

  1. by   Mermaid4
    Thank you all for sharing such poignant personal experiences. One thing I always do is ask if the mom ( or couple) has picked a name. Many times they don't want to even think about that depending on the gestation. Afterwards, I do everything described above and encourage the couple to name their baby so he or she ( sometimes we can't yet tell), becomes a person to them, whatever the gestational age. It is such a sad and difficult time..I was recently fortunate enough to participate in a labor of a couple who had a previous demise. The interesting thing is they wanted me for their labor nurse and thought I wouldn't want to be there due to our history while I wondered the same thing about them. The doctor brought us both together and it was amazing. After wards the tears flowed, and the dad grabbed and hugged me. He mentioned that he always remembered I had told them "Michael" (the name of their previous baby-the early demise) would be their angel. It was a tremendously significant and poignant experience for all of us that day, and for the couple and myself, we had all come full circle. I will never forget it....
  2. by   babe2004
    I editted this because I was thinking about it and thought maybe I shouldn't have told my brothers story. They don't talk about it much and it may not have been my place to do so.
    Last edit by babe2004 on Feb 14, '05
  3. by   BETSRN
    Quote from Mermaid4
    Thank you all for sharing such poignant personal experiences. One thing I always do is ask if the mom ( or couple) has picked a name. Many times they don't want to even think about that depending on the gestation. Afterwards, I do everything described above and encourage the couple to name their baby so he or she ( sometimes we can't yet tell), becomes a person to them, whatever the gestational age. It is such a sad and difficult time..I was recently fortunate enough to participate in a labor of a couple who had a previous demise. The interesting thing is they wanted me for their labor nurse and thought I wouldn't want to be there due to our history while I wondered the same thing about them. The doctor brought us both together and it was amazing. After wards the tears flowed, and the dad grabbed and hugged me. He mentioned that he always remembered I had told them "Michael" (the name of their previous baby-the early demise) would be their angel. It was a tremendously significant and poignant experience for all of us that day, and for the couple and myself, we had all come full circle. I will never forget it....
    I was so glad you brought up the name thing. I think it really helps for the family to have things "normalized" in the sense that the nurse can talk about what has happened and seem comfortable with what has happened. I think parents look to us nurses to help them emain stable about things. I try to answer all the questions to the best of my ability, sit with them, encourage them to hold and dress the baby (depending on gestational age, condition, etc).
  4. by   dawngloves
    There is a seminar offered on this type of bereavment in my area. If you are in the Harrisburg, PA area PM me and I'll find out about it for you.

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