Teen daughters 1st pelvic exam...

nadia562002 · Apr 3, 2003

I had my first experience at 19 as I was joining the military. I got an old fart who knew what he was doing at least. I had my share of anxiety over and still do. I had a bad experience a couple years later with a student PA who could not find the cervix. She asked if it would be ok if she had another doc come in to find it. That doc happened to be a coworker so I said absolutely not. I have decided since then that I do not care the sex of the doc doing it. Its a matter of knowing how to do it right without too much searching.

Last year I went to another new doc. He must have thought I was about to run like hell out of that office the way I looked. At the age of 28, I still think they are the worst thing a girl can be subjected to. But I do it only because I should and patients expect the nurse to do it too when the nurse tells them that they should. We have to live by example even in this. We nurses make bad patients anyways.

RNonsense · Apr 3, 2003

I still cover my eyes and pretend it just ain't happening...

Fact of life though. Have to suck it up and just do it.

She needs to know how very important monthly breast exams are too! :)

colleen10 · Apr 3, 2003

Oh Jeez, this takes me back to my first pelvic exam. I was 18 and getting ready to head off to college so it was time to start seeing a gyn.

My mum set up an appointment with her ancient OB/GYN. She told me "this doc. (male) is so nice and sweet and gentle, very grandfatherly (which creeped the bejezis out of me)."

Well, by the time I actually got into the office for a check-up the old guy retired and was replaced (unbeknowst to us) with a very young, most handsomest man I think I have ever seen in my life!

Can you imagine, your very first exam sitting in that room all by yourself half naked and then having a Mel Gibson, Martin Sheen, Antonia Banderas doc walk through the door quite unexpectedly! The best part was after the exam and I had gotten changed the doc. saw me in his office to go over everything and make sure that I was "ok" with everything this being my first exam and all. I requested that they let my mother come in for the discussion and you should have seen the look on her face!!!! Still makes me laugh to think about it.

But anyway, I think if you have an open relationship with your daughter talk to her about the importance of having yearly check-ups and explain to her what exactly is going on and how short the whole thing really is. I also agree that if you can talk to the doc. or a nurse beforehand to let them know that this is her first exam and that she is nervous about it maybe they can be extra gentle and supportive of her. My doc was great. He told me he understood that this was my first one and how nervous I must be, but assured me that all women go through this and when he was doing the exam he made a point of explaining what I would be feeling and what and why he was doing what he was doing.

Now, I have no problems going to the OB/GYN for my annual check-ups and I don't get worried or nervous over the pelvic exam. I think having that first good experience helped a lot with that. Finding a good doctor is important too. My current doc. is a hoot! He even puts word games/puzzles on the ceiling above the exam table so that when you are laying there you have something to do.

OBNURSEHEATHER · Apr 3, 2003

I had my first pelvi after already finding out I was pregnant. So I was pretty much too scared about a host of other things to be worrying much about the exam.

It's one of those annoying facts of womanly life, but I'd rather get a Pap than go to the dentist.

Flynurse · Apr 3, 2003

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Originally posted by ShandyLynnRN
That is standard practice with every doc I have been to. I have never had to ask for a female nurse to be present... they just always waited until she was available and asked her to come in. It is definitely a liability issue, and all the docs I know have a female present for exams. Even antepartum patients in my OB unit... the docs always ask us to come in when they do a vag exam. I was surprised to hear that some docs DON'T.

It was my understanding that every office had that as a standard practice. I was nearly in shock when after the exam the doctor said to me, "If you aren't comfortable with a man doing the exam you should ask for a Nurse Practitioner next time you come in, then you won't have to have a third person present."

I told him that I did ask for a female to do the exam, but since I was in need of an exam I took the first person available. And that it wasn't a problem for me to have a MAN do the exam, but it was a problem for the nurse to have an attitude!!!

To top it all off I just got a letter in the mail saying I am due for another exam. Hmmm.....guess I may have to call them and tell them to screw off. Time to look for another place.

Wish I could go back to my old doctor's office in Nebraska. They were absolutely wonderful. Male or female doing the exam it didn't matter, there was always a female nurse present through the whole proceedure. The PA always said what she was going to do just before she did it. AND no matter which nurse it was she would always say something to make me feel better if I felt uneasy.

Unfortunately that GYN bill would be about 400$ for plane tickets, lodging, meals, and exam. :chuckle

deespoohbear · Apr 3, 2003

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Originally posted by Flynurse
My mom made my first appt when I first went. She insisted that a female doc or NP did the exam. A female PA did the exam with the assistance of a female nurse. I don't know why, but I was more comfortable that way and every exam since then.

Except for the last exam. I had to go to a new office since I had moved out of state. It was sort of a ASAP visit d/t needing a new Rx. The Doc was male and I asked for a nurse to be present. The FEMALE nurse acted as though she was annoyed that I had asked for someone else to be present.

So, I guess my advice is females all around and someone you know you can trust. Needless to say I fell like on my next exam I need to find a new office.

I would think any doc of either sex would want another person in the exam room with them when they examine you. Big time liability issues there....

Chaya, ASN, RN · Apr 3, 2003

Some clinics have initiated changes in recent years to make the patient feel more comfortable. In my more recent pelvic exams, the back of the exam table has been elevated so that I was in a half-sitting position and could look the doctor in the eyes. During lady partsl ultrasounds, the practitioner usually asks if I prefer to insert the probe myself (I believe this could also be done with a speculum, or your daughter allowed to guide Md's hand to control the rate of insertion). Finally, they taught us in school that if we have a very ticklish patient who cannot tolerate the abdominal exam, we could have them put their hand on top of our own and control the pushing-sound weird but seems to work! Good Luck to your daughter; make sure she knows she has the right to speak up and ask for a "play-by-play" as she is being examined.

Disablednurse · Apr 3, 2003

Itsme, has she had her pelvic exam yet. How did it go? Just was thinking about you and her.

OBNURSEHEATHER · Apr 3, 2003

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Originally posted by Disablednurse
Itsme, has she had her pelvic exam yet. How did it go? Just was thinking about you and her.

Ditto. Hope it went well.

BunnyBunnyBSNRN, ASN, BSN · Apr 4, 2003

All of the advice you've received so far is great, so I won't repeat or try to add anything serious.

Just tell her not to sneeze:chuckle ! My best friend did and shot the speculum across the room!:chuckle :chuckle Fortunately she missed the doctor and hit the wall. The doctor said something like "could ya warn me next time??" She was so embarassed!! :imbar She hasn't gone back to him since!

Good luck!

OBNURSEHEATHER · Apr 4, 2003

Quote
Originally posted by sara610
Just tell her not to sneeze:chuckle ! My best friend did and shot the speculum across the room!:chuckle :chuckle

Wow! I'm impressed!

(bet her boyfriend/hubby is too)

itsme · Apr 4, 2003

Hi guys! We have her appt. made, and I have been talking alot to her and she is a bit more ok with it. she really does like her doc. She has a female doc who is young, like only a year or two out of school. I told her she has to do this so she may as well get it over with, then we will go shopping after!!