Lesbians (LGB) in OB Nursing

[PunkRockRNLA]

I know one aspect of this topic has already been covered. I'm asking for input on how lesbians might be received by fellow OB nurses. I live in the south, and most people here are open minded, but often religious, and maybe not exposed to the idea of a homosexual woman working with them. The problem is that we are a small unit, many of us are close friends. We see each other outside of work, and I don't know how to approach the issue if it comes up. I'm afraid of being accused of impropriety. Please help with input, I know I'm not the only new nurse looking for guidance.

[dykely]

I can relate. On all accounts. I grew up in the South (in a very strict Southern Baptist home). One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was coming out to my parents. After that I decided that I was going to live my life true to my heart and wasn't going to "pretend" for anyone. For me it is simple, although I know not everyone is in this place. When my co-workers are talking about holiday or weekend plans, I do too- mine just involve "me and my partner" or "my wife and I". I live in a very different community now than I did then. I now, thankfully, live in a diverse and culturally accepting culture (Eugene, OR) and that makes it a little easier to talk about. I haven't had any negative experiences from my co-workers at all. I will say that I don't typically "come out" to my patients. After all, it's not about me- it's about them and their new baby!

I have worked on a PP/NB floor for 4 years and just transferred to L&D about 3 months ago. I will say one HILARIOUS encounter that happened on my very first day of orientation. We were leaving and clocking out at the end of the shift and the CN (who is just like a little fireball of energy) comes up to me and all in one breath practically say..."SO, how was your first day? You got a delivery, that doesn't always happen. But did you get a chance to check her ? Could you find her cervix?" I replied "yes, I checked her, but by the time I did she was complete, so no- I didn't find her cervix bc all I could feel was baby's head" TO WHICH SHE REPLIES...."that's ok, your first dozen or so vag exams really you are just getting used to having your hand in a woman's lady parts." Me: "ummm, nope....that's NOT a new thing for me. I'm well used to it at this point!!!" She just turned bright red and was like "oh, oh, oh.....well yeah, there's THAT..." It was a funny encounter that I will probably remember for the rest of my life.

Good luck to you in finding your way with your co-workers. I'd be happy to talk about any experiences you encounter if you find you need a sympathetic ear along your journey :-)

Holly

[email protected]

[KRVRN, BSN, RN]

Impropiety was mentioned by the OP. If that means "is it improper for a lesbian to work in OB since she'll see naked women?"...then I think that's definitely a non-issue since it's understood that all nurses will see unclothed people of both sexes. When I started my job I didn't come in the first day and announce "hey I'm heterosexual and I have a boyfriend" so I don't see any reason for a lesbian to bring it up unless she wants to. Sooner or later it will come up in conversation.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I can relate. On all accounts. I grew up in the South (in a very strict Southern Baptist home). One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was coming out to my parents. After that I decided that I was going to live my life true to my heart and wasn't going to "pretend" for anyone. For me it is simple, although I know not everyone is in this place. When my co-workers are talking about holiday or weekend plans, I do too- mine just involve "me and my partner" or "my wife and I". I live in a very different community now than I did then. I now, thankfully, live in a diverse and culturally accepting culture (Eugene, OR) and that makes it a little easier to talk about. I haven't had any negative experiences from my co-workers at all. I will say that I don't typically "come out" to my patients. After all, it's not about me- it's about them and their new baby!

I have worked on a PP/NB floor for 4 years and just transferred to L&D about 3 months ago. I will say one HILARIOUS encounter that happened on my very first day of orientation. We were leaving and clocking out at the end of the shift and the CN (who is just like a little fireball of energy) comes up to me and all in one breath practically say..."SO, how was your first day? You got a delivery, that doesn't always happen. But did you get a chance to check her ? Could you find her cervix?" I replied "yes, I checked her, but by the time I did she was complete, so no- I didn't find her cervix bc all I could feel was baby's head" TO WHICH SHE REPLIES...."that's ok, your first dozen or so vag exams really you are just getting used to having your hand in a woman's lady parts." Me: "ummm, nope....that's NOT a new thing for me. I'm well used to it at this point!!!" She just turned bright red and was like "oh, oh, oh.....well yeah, there's THAT..." It was a funny encounter that I will probably remember for the rest of my life.

Good luck to you in finding your way with your co-workers. I'd be happy to talk about any experiences you encounter if you find you need a sympathetic ear along your journey :-)

Holly

[email protected]

Hey dykely -- not a good idea to use your email address in a public post. You can always PM the individual.

[canned_bread]

I've never had a problem, and am a lesbian. I don't shout it out to the hillside, but if someone asked (which they haven't), I wouldn't hide it. It's my private business, and my colleagues respect that. Some with "gaydar" might be able to tell, but once again, a non-issue.

There is also legalities involved that could stop certain people saying something, as it could be construed as bullying and blah blah, so most professionals actually wouldnt mention it for those fears.

[Alherm]

“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”

Unknown

Don't worry about what your coworkers will think. If it bothers them, then they will get over it. If you're worried about what your patients might think, don't mention it. I'm not married and I don't have kids so I always worry that saying I don't have kids means I'm not "experienced" enough. At the end of the day, I have enough knowledge to show otherwise. Impropriety? There are many straight male OBs. If someone ever has a problem with you being gay, ask them why they are ok with a straight male OB, but not a gay female nurse.

[sissiesmama, ASN, RN]

I live in Louisiana and during my time working on an OB unit had a few coworkers that were lesbians. It wasn't an issue for me or the other RNs either.

Good luck!

Anne, RNC