"Babywise!" Help! Friend swears by it. - page 4

One of my friends just gave birth to her first son. She is a staunch believer in the 'Babywise' method and has all of the books. She said when she was in the hospital and the nurses saw she was... Read More

  1. by   debralynn
    Because my son weighed over 10lbs when he was born, he ate ALOT! Well he wanted more than 8 oz. and when I would give it to him, he would throw it up!(I solved this problem by adding a tsp. of rice ceral to the formula, fixed him right up). Well anyway, the doctors told me to let him cry. I told them I did not have this baby to let him lie in his crib and cry. Did I spoil him! You better believe it. Would I do it again? YES! YES! YES! I would never let my child at any age go to bed hungry. And this womans child will probably suck his thumb due to lack of attention if she uses these methods. Sorry, I will get off my soap box now!!!! Just one more thing, my mother always told me, the baby would put itself on a schedule, and that I lost my control of that when I had a baby! I believe trying to put a baby on your schedule will just make it hard on everyone involved. Ok, I'll quit now!!!!
  2. by   shay
    Ty, CMTmom!! Show him for the creep he is.
  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    You have one ONCE, hear it again, ONCE ONLY, to raise your kids. I hear of relatively FEW older people (really NONE)---- who EVER cried on their deathbeds :

    ***"Oh G-d, I wish I had spent LESS time hugging my kids and more hours working or doing for myself when I was young!!!"***

    Nope it just does not happen. Wanna know why? Cause our loved ones, especially our kids, are all we have got and when we are old and gray, "stuff" means less and "time" seems to be forever when alone. One only need use his or her common sense and parental instincts to know this guys is a nutcase and should not be given the time of day. Think about it!!!!!!
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Jul 29, '02
  4. by   HollyWA
    "I believe trying to put a baby on your schedule will just make it hard on everyone involved"--

    No actually it made it very easy. It only took us about 1 day of my schedule and it was HER schedule. I like being able to leave my breastfeeding baby for 2 hours---knowing that she wouldn't want to eat until about 3 hours. My kids did beautiful with the scheduling. They never cried and never wanted to eat sooner than expected.
    I know my experience isn't probably the "normal" with Babywise--and I didn't choose to do it with my 4th baby---but it does really work for some parents and babies.

    After saying that---Any book that could cause harm to any baby--should be banned.
  5. by   mother/babyRN
    I think its nuts. The guy is into control. In my opinion, anyone following this will create a dysfunctional, angry control freak who doesn't need to be in a relationship with any of MY sweet, nurtured children! Seriously, hated the book....
  6. by   lgreen
    I know this is a pretty old post but I had to reply because my friends and I were just recently talking about this. I am curious to know how many of you have read the book. I have a few friends who have used this method, as have I, and we all loved it. The book is actually quite reasonable. It does not tell the parent to let the baby cry forever. What it proposes is that rather than feed the baby a few nips at the breast every 15 minutes around the clock, you try to get the baby to go for 3 hour stretches and make sure the baby takes a full feeding. What I did was try to get my babies to eat for about ten minutes on each side and then eventually get to three-hour stretches during the day, even waking the baby at three hours during the day. It took a few weeks and of course there were the times when my babies would need to eat more frequently during growth spurts. I carried my babies a lot, but I wouldn't run to them the second they started to cry (especially my second, we all know that that is impossible), but would let them cry for a few minutes and sometimes they worked it out for themselves. My children are very happy and affectionate. I am not a warped sicko raised by warped sickos. But my kids are excellent sleepers (12 hours straight at 12 weeks) and I have friends who demand fed their newborns and are still giving them bottles in the middle of the night at 2 years old. Some of them don't seem to mind this, but I know that it is a great feeling to know that when I go to bed at night I am going to sleep all night.

    The reason I asked how many of you have read the book is that some of my other friends in this discussion were criticizing the book based on what they had read from second-hand sources and had a lot of misinformation, but were very voracious in their cirticism. When I asked if any of them had read it, none of them had. Now I will say, that while I very much liked the Babywise for newborns, I did think that the ones for older children were much too rigid. My 5 year old still has his beloved blanket and sucks his thumb.

    I think we all know that the best advice given to idiots can be completely turned on its head and turned into a disaster. Perhaps the book assumes that most people have more common sense than they apparently do.
  7. by   indynurse
    One of our Lactation Consultants told me about the book a few months ago. She said she cannot tell me how many times she has taken calls from distraught mothers about how their baby would cry constantly and how they could not keep the baby on the schedule outlined in the Babywise plan. Our LC tells these moms that the baby did not read the book. She also tries to explain to them that Mom probably does not eat the same amounts at the same intervals each and every day. Sometimes we just snack and sometimes we go for the whole Thanksgiving meal with all of the trimmings. Our appetites differ day to day and hour to hour so why shouldn't a baby's appetite be similar.
    Also, the baby may not really be hungry, but is just looking for some additional oral/sucking stimulation. When a baby seems to be wanting to eat sooner that expected, I will encourage Mom or Dad to try putting there finger (clean, of course) into baby's mouth and letting her suck on the finger for a couple of minutes. Sometimes that settles the baby. If that doesn't help and they have checked for other causes of crying, then maybe the baby really is hungry.
    I had some parents following the plan a few weeks ago who would only feed/attempt to feed the baby for 10 minutes on each side every three hours. As soon as they were done with the allotted feeding time, they would bring the baby back to the nursery and tell us to keep the baby until the next three hour time to feed. They became angry with us if we brought the baby out to the room before the next SCHEDULED feeding time because we thought the baby was hungry. I have since wondered how this baby was doing.
    Now, when I see the BW book on the patient's nightstand, I do not comment on the book. I will point out how each baby is different and has different feeding demands. I try to educate these mothers to be flexible with the baby's schedule. Getting a baby into a routine is important, I feel, and does provide the baby with a sense of security. I just don't think there is a one size fits all feeding/sleeping/playing schedule for babies.
  8. by   shay
    Originally posted by lgreen
    I know this is a pretty old post but I had to reply because my friends and I were just recently talking about this. I am curious to know how many of you have read the book. I have a few friends who have used this method, as have I, and we all loved it. The book is actually quite reasonable. It does not tell the parent to let the baby cry forever. What it proposes is that rather than feed the baby a few nips at the breast every 15 minutes around the clock, you try to get the baby to go for 3 hour stretches and make sure the baby takes a full feeding. What I did was try to get my babies to eat for about ten minutes on each side and then eventually get to three-hour stretches during the day, even waking the baby at three hours during the day. It took a few weeks and of course there were the times when my babies would need to eat more frequently during growth spurts. I carried my babies a lot, but I wouldn't run to them the second they started to cry (especially my second, we all know that that is impossible), but would let them cry for a few minutes and sometimes they worked it out for themselves. My children are very happy and affectionate. I am not a warped sicko raised by warped sickos. But my kids are excellent sleepers (12 hours straight at 12 weeks) and I have friends who demand fed their newborns and are still giving them bottles in the middle of the night at 2 years old. Some of them don't seem to mind this, but I know that it is a great feeling to know that when I go to bed at night I am going to sleep all night.

    The reason I asked how many of you have read the book is that some of my other friends in this discussion were criticizing the book based on what they had read from second-hand sources and had a lot of misinformation, but were very voracious in their cirticism. When I asked if any of them had read it, none of them had. Now I will say, that while I very much liked the Babywise for newborns, I did think that the ones for older children were much too rigid. My 5 year old still has his beloved blanket and sucks his thumb.

    I think we all know that the best advice given to idiots can be completely turned on its head and turned into a disaster. Perhaps the book assumes that most people have more common sense than they apparently do.
    WELL, DEARIE, I KNOW THE AMERICAN PEDIATRIC ASSOCIATION HAS READ IT AND THINKS IT'S CRAP.
  9. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Common sense dicates you ignore your hungry newborn for the sake of establishing a schedule? Well then I have NO common sense and I am teaching my new moms all the wrong things. I don't buy it, not for a minute.
  10. by   Motivated, SN
    Figaro's Mom:

    Unbelievable. I have not heard of this book or this method of parenting; but I want to thank you for sharing this. I will be sure to tell all my moms to avoid it.

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