Quote from nurse.laura1989
Hello Lindsay, thanks for your kind comments!!
You're right, I think I do reflect constantly in my head. Actually just this morning I was helping a care assistant with a bedbath and afterwards I thought, could that have gone better? Should I have explained x y z more thoroughly?
Reflection is so important isn't it? I hated it as a student but its with time I've learnt to realise that actually, we do it all the time so it isn't really such a bother!
I've had such a trying few days here on the ward. One patient who is notoroisly difficult and downright rude to the nursing staff has made many personal comments about my appearance to me, as well as saying that I'm useless and thoroughly stupid. Its comments like that that really do hurt the most. I can cope if the patient is demented, confused etc but when they are in their right mind I do struggle to let the words bounce off me.
I was chatting with matron earlier today, and she said that its entirely normal to feel the way I do. I just need time, time and more time. She thinks I'm good at my job, and sister herself told me I was a great nurse and had fabulous potential to go far. I'm clinging to these comments right now! I adore nursing, but sometimes I wonder if my skin is thick enough to take some of the nasty comments I hear from patients. My self esteem is pretty low anyway, (I was bullied terribly as a child and teen) so when I'm told that I'm not doing a single thing correct, that I don't care and that I'm ugly (no exagerration, these were the comments I heard this morning) I just think... why? Why do I bother?
I'm sorry guys, I'm just feeling a bit low today after a very stressful shift! Bear with me and thanks for letting me vent. Its hard, y'know, none of the friends I see socially are nurses and no one in my family is either. Its a tough job, and venting to my loved ones I don't always feel is right as in the nicest possible way, they have no idea! Soooo glad I found this forum!
Hi Laura, you sound like a very conscientious, reflective practitioner and that's a good thing.
Your matron and sister have given you positive feedback, so you will be doing OK
Your feelings are normal, could I ask what patient have you cared for that you were pleased with and felt it was worthwhile, there will be many I am sure.
The elderly patient you took time to listen to about her life, the patient in pain you reassured, maybe placed a comforting hand on. That's why you do it, don't just reflect on the negative experiences, reflect on how much better your patient would have felt in clean sheets after a lovely wash. How comforting the time you spent caring for that person would have been.
You will always get people who are nasty, make sure your matron is aware, to the patient say you are genuinely sorry that they feel that way, not in a sarcastic way but in a truthful way because that's how you feel.
remember the only person who has power over your emotions is you, don't give that power away by allowing the negative comments of an individual who its known to behave badly affect you.
It is important to learn what we can improve, it is also important to recognise what we do well and reflect and learn from that