Am i fully to blame for this or did my mentor act complacement.

[tinkerbell419]

I would be so grateful for anyone who answers this, because making me very stressed.

On my last placement in a childrens hospital, i made a medication error.

The child takes two meds both of which are the same colour. However one of them is actually for oral thrush and is to be given into the mouth on a foam stick. The other is by NG tube.

Now my mentor never bothered to tell me which one is which. In fact i didnt even know until i made the error, which i think is quite bad. Ive onyl ever seen the child have the ng tube medication, i didnt even know she had one which went in her mouth.

Anyway, i was pushin the oral thursh medication down the ng tube and her mom looked up at me and said "hang on a minute, that doesnt go down her tube, its for her mouth"

I stood there and said "oh no!, your got to be kidding me, im sorry i didnt even know what this stuff is, however its only for mouth thrush, it wont hurt her and it will just pass out of her, and she is due more later. I didnt tell my emtnor, i was frightened to death.

My mentor found out and was questioning me, i said im sorry i should have told you, but i was frightened, i dont want to be chucked off the course.

I now realise i must get over my fears and tell my mentor no matter what. I have learnt from what happened, and next time im only giving meds in the presence of another nurse.

But do you think my mentor is to blame in some respect???????

[inthedistrict]

While I agree with everyone that the fault lies with the OP....

....what kind of shady nursing program are you attending?!?!?!

Any student who realizes only AFTER a medication error that they need to check the 5 rights has not received a nursing education. Any student who is too anxious to admit mistakes has not received a nursing education. Any student who thinks that "a teensy amount" isn't a big deal hasn't received a nursing education. Any student who puts two yellow syringes next to one another and goes on autopilot hasn't received a nursing education. Etc., etc., etc.

People in my program bemoan the fact that the point of nursing school seems to be to leave us in a constant state of terror, but now I know why!

I'm shocked on your behalf, but especially on behalf of your patient, that no one noticed how much you were struggling, that it had to reach this point. To me, it DOES indicate that something is seriously amiss. Human beings, all of us, have a tragic lack of self-awareness. We need others, TEACHERS, to guide us and gauge how prepared we are, especially if we, like the OP seems to be, are not naturally wired to be able to see the forest through the trees. If a student is dangerous, the mentor should be able to see that. Of course, things slip, and they aren't perfect either, but....I think this person genuinely had no idea she was a problem. That's why we have school-- to weed those people out, or beat a different way of thinking in to them!

I'm also actually pretty shocked at the mentor's response. I don't yelling helps, but I also don't believe a casual "well, know better next time," helps, either. It's further evidence that something is rotten in Denmark.

OP, I'm sorry for this situation. I know that internal pressure to get it right, quickly, perfectly, and be superwoman. It seems like you are a very anxious person, with a perfectionist streak that is self-defeating. I do see how you feel thrown in the deep end, and that's a scary place to be. Hating yourself, and the pathos of your mea culpas, doesn't fix it, though. I promise you.

Have you thought about reaching out and working on these issues? Anxiety doesn't go away. Feeling the need to be perfect doesn't go away. Inability to see priorities doesn't go away. Inability to be proactive doesn't go away. I can bet you if you made this error, there are other errors, ones you can't see, waiting in the wings (that's true for all of us....if we could see the mistakes we were going to make, we wouldn't make them!) . Is there a professor you can talk with honestly?? It's a shame they haven't reached out to you, and have failed in monitoring and guiding you (even if that is guiding you to a different caring profession) but you are learning a good lesson-- no one is going to make you a good nurse but YOU. You need closer watch right now. No shame in that, just shame in not making sure you get it.

Best of luck to you.

[tinkerbell419]

I dont want to talk about this anymore, i was crying yesterday reading the comments, and deep down i am a good student nurse, i am very caring towards everyone and ive never made a mistake so far on my course.

I will admit that many times i felt abandoned on placement, i did not feel my mentor was around much to see what i was getting up too, maybe a bit complacent on his behalf, i dont know. I dont think he supervised me that much either.

Yes i am a perfectionist, i strive to be like superwoman and maybe thats where im going wrong, but then you have to be perfect to get everything right.

Maybe mentors arent doing enough to mentor their students, maybe their is a lack of guidance or not enough guidance.

Its easy to forget to check something thoroughly if your distracted on placement, got other jobs to do, patients calling you and your trying to be a perfectionist.

I have learnt a valuable lesson, and i did know those medications.

The mistake was that i should have done more homework on those medications, read up on their pharmacological values to know EXACTLY what im working with.

So that is a lesson learnt and something else i can put into my developmental plan.

I will and can get through this and out the other side, and i make that promise not only to myself but to all of you.

I know what i need to do, and i have been working on paying attention to detail, to ask questions when unsure, to not be afraid to own up to mistakes, to try and channel my anxiety into positive energy, yes it may take time but im going to try and be more confident and positive.

And yes i think i will go and speak to someone at university.

When i have my next placement, i will have a discussion with my next mentor and make them aware of the way im feeling and ask them to help me develop.

My goal is to be a childrens nurse, and nobody is taking that away from me. Ive really sweated blood and tears to get this far, and i am a very determined young person that i will get over these obstacles and learn from them.

If i was so dangerous, wouldnt i have made like 25 medical mistakes by now.

NO- i havent, ok i shouldnt have made any bloody mistakes but i did and there snothing i can do about it now but move on, take it in, reflect and put it into use for the future.

When i had the discussion with my mentor, i was visibly shaking and upset, he said to me "i can see that you now understand the seriousness of what could have happened, you really should have told me, do you understand the importance of speaking up".

I said yes, i am really sorry, i dont know how this happened as youve seen me doing it before a million times, i do strive to much to get things done on time and be perfect, possibly that is having a backlash effect on me"

To be person above: you really have explained this situation very well and the points you have made are true. You seem to understand me.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

Your "goal" of being a childrens nurse is NOT more important than the lives of the children you'll be caring for. If you make a mistake, you HAVE to report it. I can forgive a mistake. Can't forgive a cover up.

[nursecat64]

:idea:I believe the problem here is that the OP may not be enrolled in an American/Canadian nursing school. She may speak English as a second language.That could be is why it is worded so poorly. I believe she is sincere and is trying to find different words to get her point across. Am I correct Tinkerbell

[tinkerbell419]

What is poorly worded? Yes im English, what does that have to do with anything? Could you point out exactly what ive supposed to have said that is poorly worded please?

[tinkerbell419]

Ive tried as hard as i can to word things as i am aware this is an American website, and i am English. I had hoped that i would be as clear as possible so that you can all understand me.

I dont think its matters that i am not American or Canadian, there are nurses all over the world that can give advice/support to a student, and thats why i came on here.

I dont know how many posts ive made, reading the comments made me distressed so sorry if i havent worded something right.

I hope to have made some kind of sense to everyone.

I can not apologize enough to you all on here, i have respect for all heathcare professionals and i am grateful for all the comments ive received.

You have all helped me to realise the seriousness of what has happened AND to NOT rely solely on my mentor to get through placement.

Im beginning to find you get some mentors that are breathing down your neck too much, and there are mentors that act too casual/liad back. Its about finding that perfect niche, and knowing how to get the best out of your mentor.

From now on, i must take full ownership for everything that occurs on placement, to take full responsibility and to nag my mentor to death if i want somrthing explained to me, or to find out that information for myself.

[inthedistrict]

Very glad to hear you are going to go talk to the university. PLEASE do so. Even if it means you finish a semester later, or something like that...you need to get your feet under you and get a firmer foundation. Please also let this make you very aware of your limits. If you are feeling stressed, rushed, etc, STOP, and go get a faculty member. IF there is the least bit of doubt, go get a faculty member. If you feel you need more supervision, ask for it. If this is a problem for your school, that is a problem WITH the school. No shame in not being perfect-- think of how much more UNperfect you'd be if you made a med error that had serious adverse effects. It's knowing what needs to be perfect and what doesn't that makes a good nurse. It would be nice to make sure every pt. has ice as soon as they ask, but I'd rather fail in that and make sure no one gets hurt.

I'm sorry you were so upset by this board, because being upset makes people defensive and myopic. I hope that knowing you have support and understanding gives you the courage to do what is right here, and get yourself the help you need! That is hard, but not as hard as what could happen if you don't.

Quick addendum-- just because we see your point about not having someone pick up that you were unsafe doesn't mean I'd go in to the university guns blazing and blame him. I wouldn't actually mention your instructor at all. At the end of the day, the problem is deeper than your instructor, and that's the level you need to fix.

Good luck as you take the steps to fix this problem. It is brave of you to do and important!

[nursecat64]

Tinkerbell, I couldn't sleep. I knew you would see the words "poorly" and not being American and be defensive after I had posted. So came back to clarify. I was not trying to be critical. I was trying to find out if you were in a different sort of program than we have here. It sounded like your program of study is different. Different teaching methods. Perhaps you don't draw up the meds yourself but are given a tray of already filled meds to pass? I shouldn't have said worded "poorly" I should have said inconsistent. (yellow med ,mouth stuff, nystatin) I thought maybe you spoke French or Spanish or Chinese or...and learned English later, and were trying to find different words to articulate what you meant,.. I was trying to DEFEND you! If I upset you more, I'm very sorry. But a nurse needs to grow a thick skin. We get yelled at, by doctors, by patients, sometimes bosses, whether we deserve it or not. As my instructor always told us "put on your emotional rain coat, and let it slide off" The comments here on AN are not to attack you as a PERSON, but to help you look at what happened objectively, from a nursing perspective.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

I dont want to talk about this anymore, i was crying yesterday reading the comments, and deep down i am a good student nurse, i am very caring towards everyone and ive never made a mistake so far on my course.

This is the most disturbing thing -- that we have patiently explained to you the major, multiple areas that need addressed -- and you continue to identify yourself as "a good student nurse". Compassion alone does not make you a good student. You could have killed someone, easily, with the poor thought processes you have demonstrated in this scenario.

I will try to draw a comparison: I cannot sing well to save my life. I read music and play 2 musical instruments. I like to sing - I sing in the shower, while doing household chores, and while driving. But the sound would make you cringe, trust me. For whatever reason, I am simply not endowed with the genetic material to produce a quality singing voice. And while I can imagine myself as Aretha Franklin while I'm running my vacuum or driving down the highway ... wishing does not make it so.

Having the desire to do something well does not equal having the aptitude, preparation, or skill to do it.

1 have learnt a valuable lesson, and i did know those medications.

The mistake was that i should have done more homework on those medications, read up on their pharmacological values to know EXACTLY what im working with.

So that is a lesson learnt and something else i can put into my developmental plan.

I don't see evidence of having learned a lesson, because you still can't seem to identify whether or not you knew what meds you were giving, for what purpose, in what dosage, and by what route.

[nursecat64]

Do they teach the 5 rights of medication administration in your school?

[Sparrowhawk]

I think its a fake now.

[abiklags]

Do they teach the 5 rights of medication administration in your school?

we did this at least 2 times in the med room alone, plus one time at the computer prior and then one more time in the pts room. in pediatrics i always asked my prof what med she was handing me. especially if i knew the pt had an order for amoxacillin. i'm allergic to amox so i was extra careful handling those doses.

to tell you the truth, i'd be scared if one of my classmates told me they did such a mistake and then say well the CI didnt tell me which drug is which. its the students job to do her work and not assume anything. the clinical experience is to learn. so ask questions. yes, you are allowed to question your CI. the worst (BEST) thing that can happen is you will learn.

and i have to agree, something is off. first you say the yellow medicine. who identifies medicine by the color? even tylenol can be pink one day and then purple the next. motrin can be orange then pink. color means nothing. zilch. zero. nada.

if you really are a nursing student, i think you need to redo a class or certain topics before you can be allowed back on the floor with pts.

good luck to you