I think you might need to ask you classmates that got good scores or your CI what the expectations is......remember though that they want....what you learned....what you experienced....how you are growing.
I hope you don't find this offensive....but I have 2 children a boy and a girl....theya re 11 months apart....they call that Irish Twins. They are just genetically different. Girls talk boys don't.
My daughter will describe the sunrise and use to pages talking about the colors, the textures of the clouds, the smells of the morning, the birds she hears, the flutter of their wings. My son, on the other hand, will state the sun came up in the east.....he MIGHT mention the color if he has to....but he doesn't know why it's that important....the sun goes up and the sun goes down...it will do the same tomorrow.
Write to your audience. Write what they want to hear. Think about how much females talk...play to that audience.