Lack of Family Support

Nursing Students Student Assist

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  1. Should I quit my job to accommodate for my final semester?

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Specializes in ED / CVICU in training.

To make a long story short I am 31 going into my last semester of nursing school in a very rigorous program. I pursued a Biology degree which I finished at age 28. I worked In labs which I hated. I went back to nursing school at 28. My parents were always devastated that I was never a traditional student or graduate college at age 22. they don't look at me being nursing school as a big deal because they think it's something I should've figured out 10 years ago. I am a high honors student In my nursing program and also work part time.

I don't get emotional support or the understanding that I need from those closest to me and it really hurts. I see the therapist available at my school which is a support for nursing students but we're only allowed six free sessions semester. Earlier on in the program I held a full-time job as a medical assistant at an eye clinic. Once med surg started it was time for me to cut my work hours. My parents were furious. That's when fights started and the abuse started. They say things like I'm not a real adult and I have to work 40 hours because I'm 31. They don't understand the amount of work I put into school. They act like I'm just being lazy and don't want to work more. It Really hurts that they think I'm lazy because all I really do in my free time is study. My dad majored in English and my mom just graduated high school.

I am now completing my OB and pediatric course. This Semester was even harder and I was only working two days just to be able to eat and put gas in my car. Now with my final semester which is 10 credits I not only have 15 hours of clinical and a six hour lecture, I am also expected to attend seminars and do an independent clinical study. I am very frightened that I might have to completely quit my job and if I have to I don't know how I'm going to break it to my parents. They can't stand as it is that I'm in my early 30s still in school they wish I would just work full-time and never went back to school.

Any advice about non-supportive families?

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If you can afford to, I would. That way you can focus in passing. You will make more as an RN than your current job, maybe you can remind them that?

My parents were upset when I told them I was going back to nursing school after finishing a bachelors of technology. The year between me applying and starting school was very awkward because every time I saw them, they told me that I was making a huge mistake and that I was making a terrible choice. At one point, they tried going behind my back to my husband and to tried to convince him tell me that I was making a mistake. Long story short, I've been an RN for a few years, love it and am a good RN. It's really hard to do something when your support network is adamantly against it, but I'm sure they'll come around, especially when you graduate and start working.

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Specializes in ED / CVICU in training.

That's pretty intense did they even went that far to tell your husband to talk you out of it! Why did they think it was a bad idea for you if you don't mind me asking ?

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My mom was a nurse and hated it and she didn't want to see me make the same mistake? She also didn't think I could handle the stress.

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Specializes in ED / CVICU in training.

Understandable. If I learned anything from deciding to go to Nursing school I learned that no matter what EVERYONE ALWAYS has something negative or ignorant to say about it. Whether it's friends , family ,acquaintances. I feel like it comes more from people who don't work in healthcare who don't understand how it really works or from someone Who is unhappy as a Nurse.

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To make a long story short I am 31 going into my last semester of nursing school in a very rigorous program. I pursued a Biology degree which I finished at age 28. I worked In labs which I hated. I went back to nursing school at 28. My parents were always devastated that I was never a traditional student or graduate college at age 22. they don't look at me being nursing school as a big deal because they think it's something I should've figured out 10 years ago. I am a high honors student In my nursing program and also work part time.

I don't get emotional support or the understanding that I need from those closest to me and it really hurts. I see the therapist available at my school which is a support for nursing students but we're only allowed six free sessions semester. Earlier on in the program I held a full-time job as a medical assistant at an eye clinic. Once med surg started it was time for me to cut my work hours. My parents were furious. That's when fights started and the abuse started. They say things like I'm not a real adult and I have to work 40 hours because I'm 31. They don't understand the amount of work I put into school. They act like I'm just being lazy and don't want to work more. It Really hurts that they think I'm lazy because all I really do in my free time is study. My dad majored in English and my mom just graduated high school.

I am now completing my OB and pediatric course. This Semester was even harder and I was only working two days just to be able to eat and put gas in my car. Now with my final semester which is 10 credits I not only have 15 hours of clinical and a six hour lecture, I am also expected to attend seminars and do an independent clinical study. I am very frightened that I might have to completely quit my job and if I have to I don't know how I'm going to break it to my parents. They can't stand as it is that I'm in my early 30s still in school they wish I would just work full-time and never went back to school.

Any advice about non-supportive families?

YOU make the decisions, not them. It's not like you've become a drug dealer or prostitute, you simply went back to school to become a nurse. What is the big deal. I would quit the job if you have to. You don't want to take the plunge in your last semester.

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Specializes in NICU.
I went back to nursing school at 28. My parents were always devastated that I was never a traditional student or graduate college at age 22. they don't look at me being nursing school as a big deal because they think it's something I should've figured out 10 years ago.

What is ironic is that there are numerous ABSN programs out there and practically all of them are very competitive which means there are many people pursuing nursing as a second career in their 30s, 40s, 50s. Are your parents telling all of us that we aren't real adults? You are definitely not the oldest student to pursue nursing and there will be numerous other non-traditional students that will follow in your footsteps. It's your life and no one has the right to tell you how you should live your life.

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Specializes in ED / CVICU in training.

I once told them to come to my school and take a good look around at the average age of the students. I think my parents are sheltered and don't know better.

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I'm sorry you don't have the support of your parents- I know how much I value having my mother's, and I can't imagine what it would be like trying to get through this without her. However, you shouldn't let your parents dictate your life or try to guilt-trip you. I know it's easier said than done (I have a friend in the same boat, where her parents are trying to mold her into a person that's more like them) so I know a little bit about how difficult it is to want to do what you're meant to, while also trying to please your mother and father.

What you're doing is remarkable and you should be proud of yourself. I hope this doesn't come off as rough, but you can't worry about what your parents think anymore. It doesn't matter. You're doing this for you because this is the life YOU have to live, and your parents are just going to have accept that. You're an adult now, and you're an adult in your 30s, so you're perfectly capable of figuring out what's best for you. :happy:

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It is interesting reading about the different support people receive in nursing school. I'm in my late 40's and just graduated a nursing program. My family couldn't care less that I'm in nursing school or what it took to get here. Luckily it doesn't stop me that they are not impressed. I know what it takes to get through school and how amazing people are who go for it and finish! If you are going into Nursing for the right reasons it will NEVER be a mistake, no matter what anyone says. It will be something no one can ever take away.

Also I feel you have way more to offer as a nurse when you have some life experience behind you and people skills, which often are lacking coming out of high school - I'll just speak for myself on that one.

One of the things you learn about yourself in the program is your confidence comes from within, and not from others. People will ALWAYS have an opinion, and they are often based on self-centered and limited viewpoints. Many people are plain ignorant and living in the 1950's or something where your life was over by age 40. Recognize that some may be more interested in what's best for them than you, or scared of change. They project their own fears and shortcomings on to you. It will happen in your career too. Many relationships are tested once the program begins. The weak ones will become weaker, and other support will grow stronger. New support will develop. This is actually a good thing to go through because it will make you a stronger person and a better nurse. Stay focused on why you are in school and you will not look back.

PS a lot of schools have financial assistance for people at risk for dropping out due to funds. You can look into that.

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Specializes in ED / CVICU in training.

Also I feel you have way more to offer as a nurse when you have some life experience behind you and people skills, which often are lacking coming out of high school - I'll just speak for myself on that one.

I couldn't agree more! Thank you.

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Specializes in ED / CVICU in training.

Just an update to my story. My job let me go instead so I was able to get unemployment. I graduated in May 2018 with high honors and top of the class. My mother wanted no part of my pinning ceremony but my father came around. I passed NCLEX June 15th my first try. I recently had an interview in surgical/liver transplant. Enrolled in an online BSN to begin August 1st. All this good because I followed my heart!

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