You know you're a gay man when..........

  1. YA KNOW YOU'RE GAY WHEN...............


    You can smile to let someone know you can't stand them.

    You know how to handle the telephone like a Stradivarius.

    You know how to get back at just about everyone.

    You're good pals with women other people can't stand.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    Everything that you do..no matter how small...is..."Fabulous"

    You truly don't care who Julia Roberts is sleeping with.

    You can call anyone "honey" including pets.

    You know someone who definitely was in the emergency room with Richard Gere and the gerbil.

    You understand the immense importance of good lighting.

    You can tell a woman you love her bathing suit, and mean her bathing suit.

    You really have "been there, done that."

    You know who Edina and Patsy are.

    You've read the book, seen the movie, done the musical.

    You know how to dress strategically.

    Your car has an amusing female name.

    You're the only one at your high school reunion who looks a lot better.

    There's a married guy somewhere who is terrified of you.

    You have a medicine chest stocked for any occasion.

    You know how to make an entrance.

    You worry about people you don't even know -- like Liza Minnelli.

    You choose the most fabulous greeting cards.

    You have a cologne display worthy of Bloomingdales.

    You've called someone "girlfriend" who is neither a girl nor a friend.

    One or more of the following apply to you:
    a) You adore Judy Garland.
    b) You hate Judy Garland.
    c) You hate people who adore Judy Garland.
    d) You hate people who hate Judy Garland.

    You made Donna Summer a star.

    You made Donna Summer a has-been.

    Tanning salons were invented for you.

    You've made sunbathing a performance art.

    You know that referring to someone as "a real lady" isn't necessarily a compliment.

    If your cat is a female, you swear it's a lesbian.

    If your cat is a male, you swear it's a lesbian.

    You sing along heartily with songs that make most females cringe, like "Stand by your man"

    A two seater convertible seems perfectly practical to you.

    You have a favorite Disney character and...... it's usually a nasty one.

    You've left someone totally speechless.

    At some moment in your life... you've envisioned having "back-up girls."

    You know that Barbara Streisand's biggest fan is..... Barbara Streisand.

    You have 412 ways to tell someone to get lost. 136 are nonverbal.

    You can lip-sync to at least one Supreme's song.

    Even if you're in Kansas, you're not in Kansas anymore.

    Flowers fix everything.
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  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   suzy253
    Ah tweets.....i'll have to pass this on to a couple of my gay friends. A special good friend of mine calls me 'mother hen'. I don't know if that's good or not. :stone
  4. by   jnette
    Good ones, Tweety !!! :chuckle

    I recognize a lot of these in some very good friends.. past and present. :kiss
  5. by   Gompers
    Quote from 3rdShiftGuy
    You're good pals with women other people can't stand.
    Okay, now I'm worried! My best friend is gay, and I know that I get on people's nerves sometimes.... :uhoh21:

    BTW, his car's name was Patsy. Two months before he paid off the car note, a drunk driver killed her. He had parked on the street outside his apartment, and when he came out in the morning, his car was half on the sidewalk, completely totalled, with a police report on the window. I asked if he had any pictures of the wreck, and he said, tears in his eyes, "Yes, for insurance, but I won't show them to anyone else. I don't want anyone to see her that way..."

  6. by   mother/babyRN
    Aww......When I was a relatively innocent nursing grad, we had a great friend who worked with us who happened to be gay. He would crack up at our dating capers and then tell us what might work with a guy and what wouldn't....At first we politely listened until he told us that who would know what another man would want better than a gay man. Point taken. And I learned a lot more than I bargained for....
  7. by   karenG
    136 non verbal ways to tell someone to get lost............... got me wondering now!!!

    the best flat mate I ever had was a gay man called Kevin......... and i recognise him in lots of those!!

    Karen
  8. by   kids
    I was 16 before I met my first openly gay man, a nurse who worked with my mom. He ended up being my best friend. He was there when I had my daughter and was the only person I besides my mom I would leave her with for her first 2 years. Sometimes I think he took better care of her than I did.

    I miss him so much.<SNIFF> {sniff}
    Thank you Tweety, {sniff}<SNIFF>this brought back so many memories, so much of it applied to him or was something I heard him say.

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