You know you're a nurse if... - Page 17

You swiftly clean up a MASSIVE lactulose-induced errr....spill all over a patient's bathroom without batting an eye. Patient's husband is profusely apologetic and then pauses to ask if you have ever considered that some aspects of your career belong on an episode of "Dirty Jobs." You laugh and agree with him, while thinking secretly that you just want to get back to your lunch break (apparently even lactulose-produced BMs are no longer an appetite suppressant)

You use "c" instead of "w/" or "with" on everything you write-grocery lists, thank you notes, etc...

Ah yes, the good old "shlake" -- a lake of ..... stuff.

A nurse aide and I (a student nurse) were cleaning up a bed-bound post-Fleets patient the other day. The aide had put the head of the bed down so we could roll the patient for clean-up, and I immediately put the head back up. At the aide's questioning look, I told her it was a shlake situation, and it was headed north when the head of the bed was lowered, and I didn't want to have to wipe up any more than I was already going to be wiping.

...and you know which places will give you the "lunch special" prices if you say you're calling from XYZ Healthcare, even at 10pm.


Edited to add: LMAO @ "shlake"! Ow, my sides!

Sorry about your sides! But you know what I'm talking about... sometimes "code brown" just isn't enough to describe the situation you're dealing with! This was one of those "flowing off the side of the bed like Niagara Falls" type of events!

I remember this one time, we were building dams to keep from flowing off the sides. The things you don't learn in nursing school...

Lol I did this once!! I then proceeded to ask who put the sling on and were they drunk??? I had coffee bought for me

I'm not a nurse yet but this is a doozy- you know you're a nurse when after a surgery you have you wake up from a GA saying 'is that an art line and what size foley do I have' -- true story I am surrounded by nurses and when I had a VP shunt placed in September that is how I woke up.... I proceeded to ask the rad techs if they wanted me to 'scoot over' for post op head CT

Never let anyone try to shoot something off the top of your head, no matter how good of a shot they say they were.

When your dog dies after eating some weird plants in the yard, it is not a good idea to try and eat theym yourself to see what will happen.

Never, ever reach down a hole in the ground to see what's in it. You might just find out.

you finish debrieding a wound and place the 4x4 up to your nose because there's lack of smell

when your vet says "You could have handled this one yourself." (suture removal) I've removed kitty stitches but never wiggly puppy sutures.

... When your coworkers ask over Facebook if anyone working Wednesday would be willing to take their sutures out because they are working all week and won't be able to make it to the doctor's office.