Wrinkle releaser anyone?? LOL

  1. My brother told me this one....thought it was funny.

    These two elderly ladies take somewhat of a "fancy" to a couple of elderly men who live in the same nursing home as they do. The men sit in the garden on the same bench everyday so the ladies decide that everyday they'll get all fixed up in their prettiest clothes and catch the attention of the men. After a month of sitting on the bench across from the men in their prettiest clothes the women haven't gotten more than a polite hello. The ladies decide it is time for more drastic measures. So the next day the ladies take off all their clothes and go streaking past the men as they are sitting in the usual spot in the garden. One man leans over and says, "What were they wearin' today Henry?" The second man says,"I'm not sure George. But it sure as hell wasn't ironed this mornin'!":roll
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  2. 7 Comments

  3. by   NS_RN
    A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining
    room, waiting for the
    doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the
    baby, checked his
    weight, found it somewhat below normal, and asked if
    the baby was
    breast fed or bottle fed. "Breast fed," she replied.

    "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.
    She did.

    He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both
    breasts for a
    while in
    a detailed, rigorously thorough examination. Motioning
    to her to get
    dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight.
    You don't have
    any milk.

    "I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I
    came.
  4. by   NS_RN
    > > Luke's Nursing Home.
    > > The editor of the local paper told a photographer to get over there and
    > > take pictures of these 100-year-old twin biddies.
    > > One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite
    well.
    > > The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa, and the deaf one yelled
    to
    > >
    > > her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
    > > "HE SAID WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!" said her sister.
    > > "Now get a little closer together," said the cameraman. Again, the deaf
    > > twin
    > > hollered,
    > > "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE." So they wiggled
    up
    > > close to each other.
    > > "Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the
    > > photographer. Yet again "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
    > > "HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
    > > With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out,
    > > "OH, MY GOD -- BOTH OF US??"
  5. by   NS_RN
    Subject: The Nurse


    The Nurse
    A nurse walks into a bank, preparing to endorse a check..
    She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer and tries to
    write with it. She looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then
    realizing her mistake, she says,

    "Well that's great...... just great.....Some *******'s got my pen."
  6. by   Hidi74
  7. by   zudy
    :chuckle Don't stop now,NS-RN, you are on a roll!!:roll
  8. by   cindyln
    :chuckle :chuckle
  9. by   cwazycwissyRN

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