Why Women Are Cranky

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

With apologies to the guys and acknowledging that you have it tough too . . . but some of the following made me laugh. steph

> Why women are cranky

> >

> >We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old. Enter the

almighty,

> >uncomfortable training bra contraption.

> >

> >Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along

with

> >those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies,

> >have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed

> >cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

> >

> >Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the

> >first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus

> >through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his

little

> >cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

> >

> >Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and

> >water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over

> >Brother John.

> >

> >Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live

> >with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards

night

> >and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby.

> >

> >Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and

we

> >pee our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam

in

> >our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of

the

> >mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the

way

> >to the ER.

> >

> >Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop

> >screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10)

good

> >push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard

(and

> >hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed

10

> >lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.

> >

> >After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all

that

> >"cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking,

> >jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

> >

> >The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we

women

> >hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's while hubby

> >had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the

> >reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).

> >

> >Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the grandmother of all

> >womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now

seasoned

> >"buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in

July,

> >wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything

that

> >moves.

> >

> >Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off

> >so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the

woods

> >without soaking their socks...

> >

> >Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a

tad

> >crabby.

> >

> >Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

heh... who ever said women are the weaker sex, anyway?

Whoever coined that phrase was surely on crack.

[Danamegg]

Precious!

[Brownms46]

:rotfl: :roll

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Glad something I posted made you smile in a good way. :kiss

Again, my favorite . . .being able to pee in the woods without getting your socks all wet. Wow, wouldn't that be great?

steph

[Brownms46]

steph...I need to stop taking a drink of anything when I open these things...this one and the one about Clinton..almost made me spew lemonade on my screen...:chuckle. I think being about to pee without getting anything wet...would be totally cool!! Thank you very much!! :kiss

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Brownie . .you are drinking lemonade and I'm drinking wine . .

When my sister and I were of elementary school age, we tried to pee like boys . . .and got our socks wet. So, that is truly funny to me.

steph

[nursedawn67, LPN]

Too funny!! :roll :chuckle

[Brownms46]

Strawberry lemonade is my fav Steph! And I tried to same thing when I was little. I thought it looks cool...:chuckle. I think my mother caught me doing it. :chuckle.