What Is Your Most Gross, Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story?

[yazisizit]

I was working a night shift on a tele floor as a new Nurse.

We had this one poor old lady who was confused and was restrained as usual for her safety. She was our designated resident nightmare geri from hell, so she was placed near the Nurse's station.

So we are chilling out at the Nurse's station, chatting and trying to get through another night...

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see our lady in question standing in the dimly lit doorway of her room!

I instantly leap out and run to her. As I approach her, she appears to be falling towards me, so I meet her in a bear hug...my arms around her waste, and her arms around my shoulders.

As I catch the lady, I notice a very strong smell of feces, and I feel something warm on my hands, arms and shoulders...

My fellow heroes come in behind me, and as the lights are turned on, my worst fears are instantly realized.

Yes, I caught the poor old lady with a good old bear hung football catch, but I was also covered in the lady's feces.

As I look at her, she has feces smeared all over her arms and hands... (and even her face!)

And of course, now so did I!

[monkijr]

Quote

Originally posted by Stud Muffin

[however he didn't realise there was a lid on it and he hoiked the biggest golly onto the lid that you've ever seen. I yelled at him that there is a lid on the cup and he promply sucked up the golly, took the lid off and spat it into the cup.

STUD MUFFIN, POOR THING!!!! YOU WIN, FOR GROSS!!!!!! OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!! I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING, BLOOD, VOMIT, GUTS, I GAGGGED READING THIS. I HATE SPUTUM!!!!! WHERE IS THE VOMITTING SMILEY FACE.

[nerdse, MSN]

Yuck.....have had all sorts of stuff like this and more but a lot of the gross stuff happened in OB, how did you OB sorts miss out....I didn't. OB's must get that way from what they do but they really act ugly sometimes. One of them liked to wipe his snotty nose on the nursery nurse's scrubs so she had to change... but one of the not quite so gross but still good ones -- a nervous new dad makes the mistake of walking into the unlocked doctor's dressing room instead of the dad's dressing room and falls right over the married doc doing some 'comparison shopping' with his office nurse right at THE MOMENT....and the idiot yells at the new dad and it was his wife's OB. Not physically gross but definitely makes you sick... if you are going to philander, be a bit discreet; at least lock the door. I hope that OB got a little, shall we say, "bone trouble" out of that one. He had it, er, coming....

[foresteif]

I think the grossest thing that has ever happened to me as a nurse has got to have happened about 20 years ago when I first started working at a nursing home. I had a female elderly patient that would eat ANYTHING, we had to be very careful what we left near her as it would inevitably end up in her mouth..... one afternoon one of the CNAs I was working with called me into her room .................. there was something strange hanging out of her rectum... it took a few for us to figure out exactly what it was, it turned out to be an entire pair of pantyhose!! (not to mention all the feces mixed up in them) To this day I have no idea how this little old lady managed to swallow this item without choking to death... the really gross part of this story was our attempts to dislodge said item, eventually (Thank goodness) successful.

[Tinaboo]

Tough job nurses hav eh.

[birder101]

oh my gosh. the peanut butter sandwich in the vag...a is great. What a hoot. I thing that is even funnier than the nursing home Media star. obviously, these two need to get together.

[Nurse K-Bear]

when I was working as a Nurse Extern while in school, I was answering a call light. The patient said he dropped his emesis basin and needed it. I went to pick it up off the floor for him (no time to run down the hall for a new one) yup you guessed it he proceeded to puke all over my head. I then ran into the patients bathroom and tried to wash my hair and puked in the sink. My coworkers said I was baptized into nursing and if I wanted to re-evaluate my career choice now would be the time.

I now make sure all post op patients have their emesis basin, and if I think they are going to puke a lot I make sure their larger basin is handy as well!

This thread has made my day!!

[galenight, BSN, RN]

I've got two only moderately gross stories in comparison with these others:

One day while doing my LPN clinicals (I'm now an RN) we were in the nursing home. I had to care for a lady who had a glass eye. She mentioned that it needed cleaning, so I went looking for my instructor to give me some pointers. When I couldn't immediately find her I went to tell her it would be a few minutes. She said, Oh I don't need you to do it, I can do it myself. She then proceeded to remove the eye, pop it into her mouth.. rolled it around a bit (I'm paralyzed and speechless.. a rarity for me), then popped it right back in!!! EWWW

Once while a new nurse, I was in a room with two aides cleaning up an elderly gentleman. He wouldn't bear weight so one fo the aides and I were holding him up while the other was cleaning his very poopy bottom. As is typical when you are cleaning someone up it was hotter than hades in there, so the aide that was cleaning wiped her brow and cheek of sweat. At the very moment she was through the other aide and I noticed a large smear of stool across one cheek. Now, I don't know about you but when something is so hysterically funny that I'm laughing so hard I can't talk, and neither could my helper. We just laughed and laughed we thought we were gonna lose our hold on this guy. And the aide kept saying what is so funny... oh my god.. I cannot to this day look at her without flahsbacks of her with a poppy cheek!

[k7w4lpn, RN]

Has anyone ever 'lanced' an infected sebaceous cyst?? I assisted my charge nurse when we discovered one the size of a half-dollar on this woman's chest (at the nursing home we work at). She wiped it down with betadine & alcohol, then made a tiny opening in it with a 19g needle. We each pushed from opposite sides, and the stuff came out with such force & so much that it hit the wall & wardrobe closet across the room!! It looked like a crime scene!!! NASTY!!!!!!! I retched the whole time!!!!!...And I thought loogies were bad enough...............lol

[TheLionessRN, RN]

Oh, how lucky I feel right now, because I have so many wonderful, gross stories. I think one of the most unique gross things that I have ever dealt with was the 750# man. To begin with, this patient was only in his late 30s. He had come to our hospital the prior week, and was there for about 2 days, and was discharged quickly only because our resident "Dr. Admit" had gone on vacation and the doc that covered for him cleaned house the very next day. Other than his size, this man was not very nice. He had a bad attitude, and went out of his way to be difficult for all of the staff. One morning, during that first admission, he decided to haul himself up from his bari-bed and walk to the bathroom himself---God only knows how he did this. He was discovered at shift change, first thing in the morning, laying on his face, like a beached whale on the bathroom floor. It took 8 people and over an hour to get him off the floor and back into bed.

Anyway, the following week this patient was brought back in sometime in the middle of the night. The EMTs had to just put him on a tarp and remove the stretcher and put him on the floor of the rig. They somehow got him into a regular hospital bed (that has never worked since then) and left him there, on this big tarp. The night nurse left him there, which is another story in itself, and I had the blessed luck of being his nurse that day. Our first job was to get him a bari-bed on a Saturday, and to actually get him out of the bed and standing. It only took 4 people to get him up and out of the bed, and we pushed a bed long ways against a wall for him to use as a prop until we could get his bed. He had to stand there until the big bed arrived. The man had not had a bath in at least over a week. We had an order to put a foley in him, but, I swear to you all, no one could find his member. We put a wash basin on the floor with lots of towels around it and told him to just let go. He then reported having had a bowel movement, and, since I was his lucky nurse, I was the one to clean him up. I had to actually dig to find his rectum, and went in almost to my elbow between his cheeks. There were two people on either side of him, keeping him steady and helping me while I dressed some wounds on the backs of his thighs. He needed to be washed down in the process, so I was on my knees behind this 750# man when he passed a large puff of gas. LOL, if you can imagine this, I fell backward on my rear end like I had been pushed, and the two people holding his arms both stepped away from him like someone had pulled a string. It was all we could do to keep a straight face all that morning, and of course, I was the "butt" of a great deal of jokes that day.

[ccrn]

I was working med/surg one night and I walked into my patient's room just in time to find him holding his urinal (filled with urine) up to his lips like a mug of beer and taking a big swig. I guess he was really thirsty....he drank the whole thing!

[KayleighRN, BSN, RN]

Your story had me rolling! sorry for your misfortune..

I thought a pt I had was huge at 5' and 412#. I was told she had a foley in report.. Well, when I went to wash her, I couldn't find where it had been put in! It was like the tube went into an abyss of fat. I had to go get two other nurses to hold the fat on her legs back to check out the situation!!

[dianser]

I, too, work in long term care. Prior to doing CBGs in the mornings I carefully observed where the hand I want to prick is. It seems the one that is closest to me is the hand that is in the crotch...women and men!

My other story is of a demented lady. She always ate breakfast in her room. She usually had a BM after breakfast. Sounds normal doesn't it? Well, she had a habit of "digging herself out". If her tray was still in the room she would leave a special "tip" for the kitchen help in her ceral bowl and then carefully cover it up with a saucer!