Wal-Mart has Everything

Nurses Humor

Published

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts so much I can't stand it. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart"

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog,urine samples from his wife and daughter, and some semen for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.

He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

(Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. Now if you don't rest that elbow it will never get better.

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

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Specializes in Rehab, Med Surg, Home Care.

Took me a few days to find this but thanks for the chuckle, Fran!

Chaya:)

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HAH!

I love it!

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Specializes in Med/Surg, ICU, educator.

:lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2:

ROFLMAO!!!! That was too funny!

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ROFLMAO but ill never remember all that !

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Lol!!!

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This is hilarious.........just what I need --- funny, funny, funny (helps me forget about not passing NCLEX).

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