Viagra

Nurses Humor

Published

Specializes in CCU, Geriatrics, Critical Care, Tele.

Q: What happened to the 85 year old man that got a viagra pill stuck in his throat?

A: He got a stiff neck :-)

Q. What is the generic name for Viagra? A. Mycoxafillin

I picked this up from many different sources. No author noted.

From The Pharmacy

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society...

DIRECTRA -- a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA -- Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA -- Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child-care tasks -- especially cleaning up spills and "little" accidents.

COMPLIMENTRA -- In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA -- Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA -- Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA -- This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA -- This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

FLYAGRA -- This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA -- About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."

LIAGRA -- This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury, and Presidential Strength versions.

What do you get when you combine Viagra with

Minoxidil?

Don King!!

Special News Report:Morticians around the world are lobbying to ban Viagra.Why?

Because they are having a hard time closing the casket.

[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 08-31-98).]

Specializes in Renal, UM, CM.

Why will insurance pay for Viagra but not birth control?

Did you hear about the guy that got his Viagra mixed up with his Sennakot? He didn't know if he was coming or going.....

Q. Doyou know why they give men in nursing homes Viagra?

A. So they won't roll out of bed!

Q: What happens when you give a politician Viagra?

A: He grows taller :lol2:

Specializes in Critical Care.

True story, look it up in your PDR if you don't believe me:

The molecular wt of Viagra is 666

~faith,

Timothy.

The 85 year old husband asked his wife why she made an appointment when she learned he had gotten a prescription for Viagra. She stated " I need to get a tetorifice shot if you are going to start using that rusty, old thing." (told to me by a 86 year old woman patient)

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