I don't know if there is a thread like this is already on here but after the last few days i can't resist:
*If you are well enough to cuddle with your 250 lb husband at 3 a.m. in a twin sized bed (including pet names, smooches, giggles, and pillow talk) you are not sick enough to be here, please go home and snuggle in your own bed.
*I just witnessed the birth of your child; I believe I can handle the congratulatory kiss on the forehead your uncle just gave you, without you feeling embarrased for me.
*I really understand that due to an IV and countless lab sticks your 4 year old now has a fear of anyone in scrubs; however, all I need is her temp which will be easier to get if you stop saying, "The new lady doesnt have needles sweetie..."
*While true a little indulgence is okay sometimes, please do not eat a candy bar out of the vending machine for every vegetable on your dinner tray.
*If you don't want the CNA/Lab/RT in your room between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m. please, please, please, I beg you have the doctor write an order, do not construct the leaning tower of funiture just inside your door. Not only is this a hazard to you, but when you go into cardiac arrest at 2 a.m. it becomes a hazard to the hospital staff.
Please DO NOT sign out AMA, with severe chest pain, because doc made you NPO, call 911 two hours after you get home and tell the medics who bring you back that those evil people made you leave, not only will said people still be working the ER we will be waiting with a 16g and have the bed next to the sweet LOM who sings Barney all made up for you.
(sorry know its a run on)