Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do. - page 120

Never....NEVER...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary! :eek: :eek: Anybody got anything to add?... Read More

  1. by   nlitened
    I am not a nurse yet, but things I have learned as a PCT...

    Never let you dog lick your fresh CABG incision

    Never play golf in a thunderstorm (tho said lightning strike makes for a pretty cool design on the skin)

    Never disagree with a 6ft5 300lb psych patient off his meds

    Never assume the penile implant that is now protruding from your penis will heal itself with prayer

    Never wake your husband who was just discharged from the hospital after recovering from an MI up at 2am and demand sex

    And my all time favorite...Never forget to pull the needle back out of your arm before returning to the nurses station to answer a physician phone call
  2. by   RNikkiF
    Never jump out of a car moving at 40 mph
  3. by   Penelope_Pitstop
    Wowie wow, might I just say that this was the first thread in which I posted...coming up on 11 years ago! I realize the post above mine was the first in three years but this is nonetheless an impressive run. I might as well add on what I've learned in the last decade (other than the fact that I swear 2007 was last year...)

    - drink bleach. if you live, you will not be able to speak clearly nor take any substances by mouth.
    - crush up Percocet (or what have you) and inject it into your central line. But if you choose to do so and want to get away with it, try not to pass out with the powder-filled syringe still attached to your line
    - buy illegal drugs. but, if you must, don't do it in plain site of law enforcement and then swallow your entire stash when you panic.
    - when realizing that your cigarettes are not accessible as you are in the hospital and sharing a room with an O2 dependent person, light up the non-swab end of a mouth swab stick and attempt to smoke it. that is a lot of incident reports.
    - stop drinking cold turkey if you drink two gallons of wine a day
    - forget to mention that you're allergic to the antibiotic I told you is ordered until after it's administered
    - fake having sickle cell disease in an attempt to procure IV pain meds (although it worked for a day or so)
    - mainline roxanol into your vein in the employee bathroom
    - pick at a boil on your scrotum that you noticed after using the hotel hot tub
    - use your dead buddy's ID at the triage desk to procure IV narcotics - especially if that dead buddy was a frequent flyer and died in that very ER recently