The Top 25 Witty Things to Say to Your

Nurses Humor

Published

The Top 25 Witty Things to Say to Your

Doctor During a Pelvic or Prostate Exam

25> "Take it easy, Doc -- you're boldly going where no man

has gone before."

24> "Hey, my chi is unblocking!"

23> "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

22> "Can you hear me NOW?"

21> "Oh, boy! That was sphincteriffic!"

20> "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head

is not, in fact, up there?"

19> "You know, in some states, we're now legally married."

18> "Smith, Corporal, 0291563!"

17> "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

16> "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out.

You do the Hokey Pokey..."

15> "Ever seen 'The Crying Game'?"

14> "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

13> "Doc, wanna see my Ned Beatty impression?"

12> "I love the smell of latex and K-Y in the morning.

It smells like... victory!"

11> "Ever gut a squid?"

10> "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

9> "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

8> "Does this gown make my cervix look fat?"

7> "Go slow, Doc -- I wanna learn how to do this for my friends."

6> "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

5> "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

4> "Say, Doc, how's about this time *I* get on top?"

3> "Sometimes, when you touch, the honesty's too much, and I

have to close my eyes and pee."

2> "Deflector shields: Down!"

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Witty Thing to Say to

Your Doctor During a Pelvic or Prostate Exam...

1> "Get a camera! We can tell Ripley's Believe It or Not that

we're the most unusual Siamese twins EVER!"

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OHMY!!! i almost peed my pants...just emailed that to a bunch of people...esp one of my friends just had her pap....

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Specializes in Obstetrics, M/S, Psych.

andylane78

Thanks...I needed that!!:rotfl:

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Specializes in NICU, L&D, OB, Home Health, Management.

I'm at work - OB department -

These are great - now my patients will wonder why I'm snickering during their vag exams.

Thanks!!:roll

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:rotfl:

That is freakin hilarious, Thanks!!! I like #20!!!!!!!

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:rotfl: :lol2: :roll :chuckle :rotfl: freakin hilarious!

heather

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:rotfl: I'm sending this to all my friends at work for some humor therapy.

Linda

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D:D:D:D:D:D

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Specializes in Clinical Risk Management.

Oh, thank you, THANK YOU for making me laugh so much that I had to put down my chocolate danish & coffee! ROTFLMAO!!!

Can you believe it, it was almost better than CHOCOLATE! :D

Have a great day, andylane! You deserve it!

Joy

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FREAKING TOO MUCH!!!! THIS IS GOING TO EVERYONE I KNOW!

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This reminds me: A lady in Australia won a radio contest for the most embarrassing story with the following:

She had a gyne appointment for a routine pelvic exam and pap smear, and after getting the family off to work/school, she was running late. No time for a shower: rush to the bathroom, grab up a washcloth from beside the basin, and give herself a quick scrub 'down there' so she'd be sweet and clean for the exam.

The doc. was running on schedule, and she was quickly ushered into the exam room. She lay down, put her feet in the stirrups, and tried to think of being on the beach in the Bahamas, while the doc did his thing. She was rather suprised to hear him say, "My we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" but didn't bother to ask questions.

The exam over, she got dressed and went home. Later in the day, after her daughter arrived home from school, she heard her call out from the bathroom:

"Mom, what happened to my washcloth?"

"What washcloth?"

"The one I left beside the basin."

"I put it in the wash, dear!"

"But Mom, it had all my sparkles on it!!"

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waaaaayyyyy toooo fuunny...........!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks !

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