Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 70

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   exp626
    A few years ago there was a patient on my unit on C-Diff isolation. I walked by the room to see her adult son, wearing gloves and gown, and blowing up the donut she'd been sitting on for days.
  2. by   teeniebert
    Quote from exp626
    A few years ago there was a patient on my unit on C-Diff isolation. I walked by the room to see her adult son, wearing gloves and gown, and blowing up the donut she'd been sitting on for days.
  3. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    Quote from Franemtnurse
    Did she give you stars in your eyes?
    Hahahahahaha! No, but my eyes did briefly roll around in my head!!!!
  4. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    Quote from exp626
    A few years ago there was a patient on my unit on C-Diff isolation. I walked by the room to see her adult son, wearing gloves and gown, and blowing up the donut she'd been sitting on for days.
    EEEEUUUUUUWWWWW!!!!!
  5. by   systoly
    Quote from safy
    I am a student currently and have never worked in the medical field, making me easy prey at the clinical site, meaning I have lots of funny(to me) stories.

    My first day at this particular lvl 2 LTC clinical, I answered a call light thinking I could handle it. The LOL told me she needed her brief changed. Ok I can handle this, I've done this before I thought. When I unfastened her brief, there was this gray plastic thing between her legs. I thought OMG I have never seen one of these before, does she have something holding her legs apart. I stopped what I was doing, pulled her brief over her, told her I would be right back, that I was going to get some help, and went in search of my instructor to give me some guidance. She comes back in with another student to assist me. The other student suddenly grinned real big, and my instructor had to leave the room she was laughing so hard. The LOL was on a bedpan. To this day I am not sure why they put her on the bedpan and refastened her brief, nor why she said she insisted she needed her brief changed (it was dry).

    Next story: I was giving a pt his insulin shot. Just as I was about to insert the needle, I depressed the plunger, spilling the insulin all over his abdomen. The pt blurts out, "I thought only guys had to worry about premature ejaculation."
  6. by   binzy
    My first two pts in clinicals were the best. My first one had dementia and kept saying she needed to get to the bus.. when I asked if she was allergic to anything she said money! Loved her! Second pt was a drama queen.. my instructor wanted me to give her a bed bath but she refused times three. My instructor did not care it had to be done.. so I got a washcloth thown at me. Then I also had a nurse who was my pt.. she and her roommate pulled out their straws and started making really annoying sounds with them. It wasnt bothering me but the other nurses who had to take care of them. Made me laugh. They were so fun
    Last edit by binzy on Jun 20, '14
  7. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    There are so many pages to this thread that I don't know if I have posted this before or not. But here goes:

    I was the med nurse on a small med-surg unit on the 3-ll shift. My assignment, in addition to the meds was to help the patients in a four bed room to get ready for bed. Three of the four beds were occupied by some college guys who had been injured in a football game the previous night. None of them required much beyond the cursory basics.
    The fourth bed was occupied by an old guy with dementia who was a sweetie, and we'd had him on several previous admissions. He was sitting in the chair, and I just had to help him back into bed. After I pulled the curtain around for privacy, he murmured that he had to pee. I handed him the bottle and turned my attention to pulling down the bed-covers and after a few seconds I felt a warm stream hit my leg. He was holding the urinal in one hand and his business-end with the other hand and staring off into space.

    In dismay I turned to help him place his penis IN the bottle and said the worst possible thing I could have said in that room: "Oscar! Oscar! You're 88 years old and you don't know how to use it yet?! Put it IN! Put it IN!"

    Laughter erupted and soon all of us were helpless with it. Naturally, the college guys couldn't get over it, and for the next two or so days, every time I entered or passed by the room, at least one, if not all of them just had to mimic in falsetto: "Put it in! Put it in!"
  8. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from No Stars In My Eyes
    There are so many pages to this thread that I don't know if I have posted this before or not. But here goes:

    I was the med nurse on a small med-surg unit on the 3-ll shift. My assignment, in addition to the meds was to help the patients in a four bed room to get ready for bed. Three of the four beds were occupied by some college guys who had been injured in a football game the previous night. None of them required much beyond the cursory basics.
    The fourth bed was occupied by an old guy with dementia who was a sweetie, and we'd had him on several previous admissions. He was sitting in the chair, and I just had to help him back into bed. After I pulled the curtain around for privacy, he murmured that he had to pee. I handed him the bottle and turned my attention to pulling down the bed-covers and after a few seconds I felt a warm stream hit my leg. He was holding the urinal in one hand and his business-end with the other hand and staring off into space.

    In dismay I turned to help him place his penis IN the bottle and said the worst possible thing I could have said in that room: "Oscar! Oscar! You're 88 years old and you don't know how to use it yet?! Put it IN! Put it IN!"

    Laughter erupted and soon all of us were helpless with it. Naturally, the college guys couldn't get over it, and for the next two or so days, every time I entered or passed by the room, at least one, if not all of them just had to mimic in falsetto: "Put it in! Put it in!"
    HILARIOUS!!!!!
  9. by   calivianya
    Okay, just remembered this thread so I copied this post I made from a preventing falls thread:

    Speaking of funny bed alarms... we have these fancy brand new electronic touchscreen beds (love them to pieces, really, they are the best thing since sliced bread and they are probably what I am going to miss most about my current job when I leave at the end of the month) that play music and even translate things into other languages. Really. I can push the "are you in pain?" option in Spanish/German/Italian/Vietnamese or one of like 20-something other languages and my patient can shake his head yes or no... we recently had a Spanish-speaking patient on the vent that everyone assumed was delirious because we couldn't get him to follow commands, somebody pushed the "hold up two fingers" option in Spanish, and... he held up two fingers. It was awesome. Love these beds...

    Anyway. So, one option for the bed alarms is for it to beep so we can hear, but also say in a pretty, feminine voice, "Hold on, your nurse is coming!" I was sitting at my perch between my two patients' rooms when the bed alarm started to go off one night. I got in right after my patient had sat up and inched his feet close to the edge. He was sitting perfectly still, exclaiming, "My nurse is coming! My nurse is coming!" I lost it. It was so freaking funny that I was doubled over laughing while I was putting his legs back in the bed. Seriously going to miss those beds! Maybe I can somehow sneak these giant, heavy beds out, tie a couple of them to the top of my car, and take them with me for future use...
  10. by   desireemiranda
    That would scare me to death
  11. by   calivianya
    Quote from desireemiranda
    That would scare me to death
    Nobody has been terrified yet... the people with dementia just start talking to the bed alarm like it's totally normal for weird voices to come out of nowhere. LOL. I wish I could process things like dementia patients do for one day, just to see what it's like so I'd know how to take care of them better.
  12. by   Cuddleswithpuddles
    I took care of a younger patient who had a heart condition and a fracture. He and his wife had a wicked sense of humor. His wife joked that he needs to look at the trapeze bar on his bed like Rocky looks at a punching bag.

    This gave me an idea.

    When the physical therapist came, I downloaded "Eye of the Tiger" on my phone, stood by the door and blasted it as loud as I can.

    Patient started laughing. Wife started laughing. Physical therapist started laughing. It was one of those self-perpetuating cycles of laughter. The more I laughed, the more they laughed, the more they laughed, the more I laughed!

    Totally professional? Probably not. But I counted it as therapeutic and I think it also counts as coughing and deep breathing haha!
  13. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    CWP--that was a great story and a really inspired bit of humor!

    When I lived in Nashville for a while, I worked in a small hospital as a med nurse. One slow night I made a life-size cardboard guitar
    and taped it to the side of the med-cart; in fancy ,colorful lettering it bore the label "MUSIC CITY MEDICINE NURSE".It didn't get many guffaws, but it did bring a surprised smile to many a face, because EVERYTHING in Nashville is "Music City" This-or-That. Eventually the supervisor vetoed the sign as 'not professional'. Maybe not, but it sure was fun!

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