Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 7

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from jrzgrl
    One night, early in my nursing career, we admitted a patient to our med-surg unit from the ER. He was well into his 90's, a retired physician and a dapper gentleman, well spoken, great sense of humor. I did his admission paperwork and tucked him in to sleep. It crossed my mind to put the "bed exit alarm" on due to his age, but he seemed 100% "with the program" and I decided not to affront his dignity. A short while later, one of the brand new grads came tearing down the hall in hysterics looking for me. She was stammering and white as a sheet. I entered the room and saw blood everywhere. My alert and oriented little doctor-patient had ripped out his IV, and worse, his foley with an inflated balloon. He was standing there stark naked with blood pouring out of his penis. I thought the new grad was going to faint! We assisted him back to the bed, and I grabbed a washcloth and proceeded to apply pressure to the bleeding penis. He realized what he had done, and was a little sheepish. The new grad said, "Oh my God, are you in pain?" With a twinkle in his eye he said, "No, it doesn't hurt, but why don't you wiggle it a little and we'll see if it still works!" I just BURST OUT laughing and she turned a lovely shade of dark purple! What a scream! That night was a real "learning experience" for her!!!
    And I'll bet it made a funny memory for her too.:chuckle
  2. by   paraloco
    Quote from Franemtnurse
    And I'll bet it made a funny memory for her too.:chuckle
    My mother was a home health nurse, told me funny story. I hope I'm not leaving anything out. She was caring for an elderly man, post-cva. He had a poor memory also. The first day she was in his home and he asked for his smoking materials, my mother informed him " Mr. ----, you haven't smoked in years." I rolled when she imitated the puzzled look on his face when he replied, "I haven't?" But yes, he did, and the nurse my mother relieved didn't tell her that.
  3. by   smarkley
    There was one night when I worked on an ortho unit that I was in a pt room. I heard a commotion out in the hallway, looked out and saw a pt standing in the middle of the hall, screaming at the top of his lungs. Other nurses were trying to calm him down and figure out where he came from (he had wandered from another unit). "GIVE ME DR. HALDOL!! I NEED DR. HALDOL!" He screamed this over and over until security could come and help the nurses calm him down. I still laugh about that now.
  4. by   TDub
    I was a young nurse on a pulmonary critical care unit and I had a lady who would exhibit severe sundowning. I got wise to things and compensated by bringing her 10 pm meds at 5:30. I know it isn't protocol, but at least she ingested her meds.


    One day I wasn't quick enough. I came in and tried to give her Carafate. She glared at me and hissed "Go to hell!" I was somewhat taken aback as you can imagine, so I tried being bright and cheerful, stepping closer to the bed. Bad idea. She reached out quick as a snake and grabbed me by the throat. Her fingers slid back, coming to rest right over my carotids. When I passed out, my body weight pulled me out of her clutches. I came to and said, "Whoa! I'm 26 years old and you just kicked my ***."

    She gave me the evil eye and grunted "Good!" and rolled over to sleep.

    The next day she had no memory of it and said, "Oh, my dear, what happened to your neck?" very sweet and concerned.

    The worst part was I left for a 2 week trip to Germany that weekend. I had to go through customs and checkpoints trying to explain why I didn't match my passport photo.
  5. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from TDub
    I was a young nurse on a pulmonary critical care unit and I had a lady who would exhibit severe sundowning. I got wise to things and compensated by bringing her 10 pm meds at 5:30. I know it isn't protocol, but at least she ingested her meds.


    One day I wasn't quick enough. I came in and tried to give her Carafate. She glared at me and hissed "Go to hell!" I was somewhat taken aback as you can imagine, so I tried being bright and cheerful, stepping closer to the bed. Bad idea. She reached out quick as a snake and grabbed me by the throat. Her fingers slid back, coming to rest right over my carotids. When I passed out, my body weight pulled me out of her clutches. I came to and said, "Whoa! I'm 26 years old and you just kicked my ***."

    She gave me the evil eye and grunted "Good!" and rolled over to sleep.

    The next day she had no memory of it and said, "Oh, my dear, what happened to your neck?" very sweet and concerned.

    The worst part was I left for a 2 week trip to Germany that weekend. I had to go through customs and checkpoints trying to explain why I didn't match my passport photo.
  6. by   lgbudha
    i have a similar story about a patient we tried to restrain once. we had a very large man on our unit one night. he was confused an agitated and doctor ordered a posey vest for him, the problem was that at the time we didn't have a wheelchair big enough for him to sit in. we decided that we would have him sit in a big recliner chair and posey him to that. we tied him down really good and left the room. later that night (about 2 am), we were sitting in the nurses station when he heard a serious of large "thuds" coming down the hall. we peeked our heads into the hallway and there was our man coming down the hall with the recliner still strapped to his back. we ran to him and tried to get him back to his room but he just kept going down the hall. we ended up calling a "code 13" and all male staff came to help us restrain him.




    Quote from ruby vee
    remember geriatric chairs? we used to posey our wanderers into a geri chair for the day. only ours didn't have brakes, and one old guy named juan used to be able to push himself around the unit with his tippy toes. backward. we'd put him out by the nurse's station on busy days, and everyone would sort of keep an eye on him -- even the house staff who all knew him well.

    one particularly busy day, there were two codes going on at once and everyone was involved with one or the other of them. juan scooted himself off the unit in his geri chair, and was found at the doorway to the firestairs trying to get the door open. the nursing supervisor brought him back. the next time, a patient's family member went to get the unit secretary, who pulled an na out of a code to bring juan back. the third time, a harvard medical student encountered the nice old man posey'd into a geri chair trying to open the door to the stairs. i'm sure he thought he was being helpful when he opened the door for the juan and held it for him.

    the next day when i came back to work, juan was poseyd in a geri chair wearing a cast over his entire torso and both shoulders. the toes still worked fine, though. i was determined not to have a repeat accident on my shift, so the na and i poseyed juan into the chair, and tied the chair to the sink in his room. the first sign that that may not have been a wise choice was when there was a loud crash followed by the sounds of gushing water and a flood pouring out of juan's room. by the time i got there, juan was propelling himself backward out of his room, dragging the sink. the housekeepers were not amused. nor were the plumbers!

    after that, we tied the chair to the handrail in the halls -- you know -- the ones patients are supposed to hang on to as they ambulate in the halls. another poor decision. the rail wasn't attached to anything but dry wall . . . and following another loud crash (and some excited shouting) we found juan propelling himself down the hall dragging the railing and a large chunk of dry wall. the carpenters were not amused. nor was the couple in the room on the other side of the dry wall . . . they were engaging in some long-postponed marital relations when juan's removing a chunk of drywall exposed them to the entire unit!

    sadly, juan's trip down the stairs backward ultimately caused his demise. he got a pressure sore under his cast, became septic, went into septic shock and arrested. we couldn't saw him out of the cast fast enough to start cpr in a timely fashion . . .
  7. by   ISeeURN
    Many stories came to mind, but this one stands out... I had just passed the NCLEX over here in the States, after having studied and worked as a RN in Germany for quite a few years already. Germans are not into abbreviations, as Americans seem to be, so I was rather unfamiliar with them.
    During one of my first nights on my first unit I worked at in the US, we got report from dayshift, and one patient was described as a "PIA". I had heard of "TIA's", figured it was something similar, and asked my preceptor later on that night to explain the unfamiliar abbreviation to me. She did, laughingly, as " Pain in the A..". Ooops.
    Several weeks later I was asked by the night Charge Nurse to log on to our unit Computer, and check on which patients were in the ER, and if anything looked like potential surgical ICU "material". ( This was pre-HIPPA). Imagine my stunned face, when one after another of the patients listed had a "SOB" next to their name. One of the sweetest nurses I had the pleasure to work with on this unit must have seen my slightly shocked face, and asked what was wrong, when I stated something to the effect, that it seemed to me that someone with a serious case of PMS (note my use of an abbreviation) must be putting in admitting info at the ER. Asked why I would think such a thing, I pointed out, that 80% of these patients were labeled "SOB's". Now if that was not rude... The Nurse looked at me, and all of a sudden burst into laughter, almost unable to blurt out " SOB stands for Shortness of Breath".For the time i stayed working at that unit I did not hear the end of it, especially when one of the admitting Dx's was "SOB"
    Last edit by ISeeURN on Apr 21, '05
  8. by   Sue7573
    I was told when I first started working at my nusing home that if Mr. and Mrs. *Jones door was shut, not to bother them. (wink wink). I hoped and prayed that I would never have to worry about that. So one evening I come into work and their door was shut. (I was only 16 and thought once you got old..... ) Boy I didn't even walk past that room for fear of hearing anything... after about 2 hours I made the comment that they may need to be checked on. The nurse said nah sometimes their door is shut for a whole shift. After supper and still no one had checked on them I kept hearing a muffled help... help me...... someone help me... I asked if anyone else had heard this and we went on a hunt. As we got closer to Mr. and Mrs. Jones room we knew it was coming from that room. Of course we would see what was wrong but no one wanted to be the first in the room. So I was literallly pushed in to see that they had pushed there beds together. Mrs. Jones was sound asleep and Mr. Jones was wedged between the two beds. We couldn't pull him up by the arms and legs and he was not quite on the floor yet. So I crawled under the bed and placed a pillow under his head and then we pulled the beds apart to let him fall the rest of the way to the floor. We checked him out and made sure he was ok and as we were on our way out the door he said "I didn't get finished would you shut the door please" we just looked at each other........

    Sue
  9. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from ruby vee
    sadly it's real, but it's also about 27 years old!
    sounds like nothing was going to hold juan back from going where he wanted to. that was sad, but in the same time it was hilarious too.
  10. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from ShirleyR
    I remember when I first got out of nursing and worked nights on med/surg. This little elderly man was admitted to our floor with CHF. His wife was with him & was planning on staying the night in his room. The Doc had ordered 80 mg of lasix IM. Before administereing the lasix I placed a condom cath on ( my first). I gave him the lasix, explained the call bell system & made sure they were comfortable and told them I'd be in a little while later to check on him. I then went back to the nurse's station to start on my notes. About 30 minutes went by & the little gentleman's call light went off. Using to call intercom I asked, " How can I help you?'. The patient's wife timidly said, " Ma'am, this think you put on my husband is broken & it's making a mess everywhere." I had no clue as to what she was talking about, so a CNA & myself went right in to assess the situation. We get in his room & the patients little wife is sitting in the chair with her feet held up as to not touch the floor, she said, "Watch out you'll fall!" There was urine all over the floor. We get over to the patient and pull the covers back, expecting to see the condom off in the bed, but were we surprised!!! His penis looked like a little water fountain & the condom cath held his testicles . The CNA immediately left the room, I appologized & started cleaning him up, One of the other nurses came to help with clean linens and a new condom cath. After the situation was controlled I went to the break area where the staff were at,almost lying in the floor laughing. I finally had to explain to them that I cound't find his penis and had put all the wrinkly stuff inside the condom cath.
    Good one. do ya still get teased about it? It makes me laugh just picturing it.
  11. by   LPN EMT MOM
    Quote from trvlnRN
    We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other.

    I keep remembering to a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my patient. I was heading down the hallway on the CCU unit in which I worked. I was minding my own business, heading down the hallway and I just happened to glance into a patient room... I couldn't believe what I saw... An older gentleman, who clearly was having some post-op dementia after open heart surgery.... he was sitting up in the middle of his bed and with knees bent and feet braced at the bedrail for extra support.... With both hands...HE WAS PULLING on all of his CHEST TUBES with ALL OF HIS MIGHT!!! Needless to say, I sprang into action along with all the surrounding nursing staff. It took security along with all of us to restrain this man so he wouldn't hurt himself. Though it wasn't funny at the time....I can't get this picture out of my mind and find it amusing to remember.

    What's your story? :chuckle

    as a lpn one of my elder patients asked me if i was a "real " nurse i said yes with a smile...he then said his daughter was one of those lets play nurses before she became a real one and he was so happy that i'd just gone on and started out real... so it always strikes me funny to hear RN i think real nurse LPN let's play or low paid nurse emt 's some still consider ambulance drivers ... and if i'm called a b i t c h i just think babe in total control of herself and smile and say thnk you...
  12. by   TDub
    You said yes, you were an LPN and then he insulted you? He's got brass ones for sure.
  13. by   LPN EMT MOM
    Quote from TDub
    You said yes, you were an LPN and then he insulted you? He's got brass ones for sure.

    older people don't know or distinquish lpn from rn he thought that an lpn wasn't a real nurse... i run into RN 's that think LPN's aren't real nurses in the workplace all the time... and yet i have to show them how to do something i have spent years training my bosses... i have a boss now who is a 4 yr rn and administator to a private duty group... she told me that as long as i don't get within 3 feet the fact the patient was MRSA positive wasn't anything to worry about....never mind it was an open trach patient and single cath suctioning...nothing in line at all... i take more offense at her assuming i could suction and still stay further away than my arm reach... let alone bedpan bath dress or do manual percussion... those people offend me... or the RN who kept telling me that my patinet with a heart rate of 214 and bp of 86/54 was just fine he'll perk up once you get some fluids in him... yea he was dead 4 hours after i started his IV of NS for dehydration... she wouldn't know v tach even when i kept going back and saying this worries me...

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