Orders you wish you could have written in the chart...

Nurses Humor

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Specializes in Oncology, Cardiology, ER, L/D.

To the pt's PIA daughter, please drink one tall glass of "shut the hell up" and don't call me unless there is a problem.:banghead:

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN

1 Article; 2,043 Posts

Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

--1 baseball bat, topical application to cranium, until pt stops biting staff

--1 fentanyl suppository PRN for nurse with PIA patient

--300ml of Outback's "Walleby darned" PO q1h, until nurses' urge to jump off hospital subsides or is physically impossible d/t inebriation.

systoly

1,756 Posts

Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.

For the patient who chewed on his fingers: No Fingerfoods.

mama_d, BSN, RN

1,187 Posts

Specializes in tele, oncology.

I'm another one who has written "No further calls to this MD unless patient is coding" as a TO. Said MD was not amused, but quit telling us that. Especially since my next call to him was along the lines of "You know how you had me write that order....well, she's dead now."

Nurse Lulu

131 Posts

Specializes in critical care.

For a hard to sedate pt I had....ativan gtt 2-5mg/hr...doc then said..if that doesn't work use a louisville slugger....I thought it was funny....

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