Orders you wish you could have written in the chart...

[NurseKatie08]

I was taking a TO from a doctor one night, and because of our unit being in transition (we are expanding a few more rooms, so my charts are split between two nursing stations), I was having to run down one end of the hall to read him something, and then he'd ask for something else on another pt so I had to go back down the other nursing station to get it, etc, so I was sending calls back and forth from one phone to another. He told me "Katie, we need to get you some roller skates!" Wish I could have written that in the TO--"Please provide RN with roller skates"

This doc can really get on a roll....that same night we were dealing with a difficult patient who continually refused CXRs and was running a temp. "Well, send her out to the ER, and maybe never admit her again."

So, what orders do you WISH you could have written as a telephone order??

[ShelleyERgirl, LPN]

To the pt's PIA daughter, please drink one tall glass of "shut the hell up" and don't call me unless there is a problem.

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

--1 baseball bat, topical application to cranium, until pt stops biting staff

--1 fentanyl suppository PRN for nurse with PIA patient

--300ml of Outback's "Walleby darned" PO q1h, until nurses' urge to jump off hospital subsides or is physically impossible d/t inebriation.

[systoly]

For the patient who chewed on his fingers: No Fingerfoods.

[mama_d, BSN, RN]

I'm another one who has written "No further calls to this MD unless patient is coding" as a TO. Said MD was not amused, but quit telling us that. Especially since my next call to him was along the lines of "You know how you had me write that order....well, she's dead now."

[Nurse Lulu]

For a hard to sedate pt I had....ativan gtt 2-5mg/hr...doc then said..if that doesn't work use a louisville slugger....I thought it was funny....