Man-Flu....the Untold Facts....

Nurses Humor

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Ok, first off my husband sent this too me, so, you can already tell it is biased as all get-out. I hope you ladies enjoy and learn what is really happening to our SO.

Man Flu - The Facts...

1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*.

*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from

a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the

rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is

medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught, he would

still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in

all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans

of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple

requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so

much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it (THIS part cracked me UP)

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of

other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and

come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition

amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest

heroes this country has ever known.

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full

blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell

off.

9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The

A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady

medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of

Man-Flu.

10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around enjoying

'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact that the exact

pitch and frequency of D*ck Van Dyke's voice has remarkable soothing

powers.

Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women, all

we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some kind words and

your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this

monstrous disease together...

I used to work for a Doc that resembles the above.

He got sick so much it was ridiculous (maybe he should remove his gloves before typing on his computer keyboard... ewwww!) Anyway, he would drag his sorry self down the hall and just stand there till I noticed him, and then tell me he felt sick, and that he wanted me to cancel the afternoon patients. I'd say no, you can stay till the end of the day... "man-up, Doc!" ... LOL. One time he was in his office and couldn't stop coughing, you know, the kind of itchy cough that won't stop. He yells from his office between coughs, "Isn't anyone going to help me out there, I'm choking!" So... I get him some hot tea, and bring it to him, tell him to drink it. He tells me no, that it won't help. I tell him to just shut up and drink it. The coughing stops. Then he tells me that I'm mean.:wink2:

LOL Thanks for sharing, I needed the laugh!

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full

blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell

off.

Oh, this destroyed me!

:hpygrp:

lul!

I hardly ever get sick... so when I do I milk it for all it's worth.

I've had Man-Flu for about 12 days now...

Specializes in Medical and general practice now LTC.

Moved to the nursing humour forum

Specializes in Level 2 and 3 NICU, outpt peds.

OMG!!!! Still laughing!

This is FUNNY!! The only answer I have to this is:

Man-flu=wussitis

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