Joke Poker - Bottled Blondes - page 3

I have been toying with the idea of starting a "Joke Poker" thread. What is Joke Poker? Simply stated one person starts the thread with a joke on a particular subject and anyone can add a joke or... Read More

  1. by   Rapheal
    As a blonde I am going toss one right back to you guys.

    What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes? INVISIBLE!

    lol lol lol
  2. by   Shamrock
    Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
  3. by   Shamrock
    Debbie was really sick of "blond" jokes. As an attractive, blond, newly-arrived medical student at the University of Utah, she felt disrespected -- as though the Utah natives considered her a California Blond Beach Bimbo.
    So Debbie decided to test her hypothesis. She dyed her hair dark black. Then she went to a new area on the medical school grounds to see if people treated her differently.


    She saw a farmer unloading a truckload of sheep for the artificial heart program. "You know, I'm a medical student." The farmer just nodded.
    "I'm quite smart." The farmer smiled. "I'm sure you are."
    "Let me prove it." said Debbie. "Are they paying you for these sheep by the pound?"


    The farmer said, "Yes, they've budgeted three thousand bucks. We have to weigh them to see how many I leave here." "Well, I'll bet you a hundred bucks I can calculate how many sheep that is, in my head."


    The farmer leaned back and pursed his lips. "I don't have a hundred on me. But I'll bet a sheep against your hundred." Debbie studied the flock as it milled around in the pen. "Thirty-seven! It will take 37 sheep." she said.


    Sure enough, when the weighing was complete, the medical school had purchased 37 sheep. "Well, a bet's a bet." said the farmer. "Go pick a sheep from the rest of the flock."


    Debbie ran into the flock and grabbed a fluffy black and white one. Holding it with both arms, she walked to her car.
    She heard the farmer call after her. "Hey, we farmers are pretty smart too."
    "I'm sure you are." said Debbie.
    "Let me prove it," the farmer asked. "If I can calculate the original color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
  4. by   Shamrock
    Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen?
    A: To draw blood.
  5. by   liberalrn
    thankyou thankyou thankyou ....needed a laugh!
  6. by   jnrsmommy
    A brunette, a smart blonde, and santa claus are walking down the street, and they find a hundred dollar bill lying on the ground.
    Who got the money?
    The brunette... because there is no such thing as santa claus or a smart blonde.

    A blonde and a brunette are sky diving and have jumped out of a plane?
    Who will land first?
    The brunette... the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

    How are a blonde and a beer bottle alike?
    They're both empty from the neck up.

    What do you call ten blondes stacked on top of each other?
    An air mattress.
  7. by   udontwannabme
    Do they have to be bottle blonde jokes?

    oh well, this is just a little hospital humor.

    An older gentleman was in the hospital.
    On first shift, the nurse aid came in to wash his hands and face before serving him breakfast.

    The man asks "are my testicles black?"

    The poor aid didn't know what to say, it was her first day on the job.

    She told him that she was just here to get him cleaned up for his meal, that she didn't really know about that.

    A little later she brought brought his tray to him.

    He asked again, "are my testicles black?"

    The aid told him that she would go get his nurse.

    The nurse walked up to the bed and whipped his sheet back.


    She said "sir your testicles are not black"

    The man finally took his O2 mask off and said " are my test results back yet?"
  8. by   SRNJIM
    Hi Guys,

    How about this one

    Bottle Blonde: "Honey, there's that one-eyed cat coming in the door again."

    Husband of
    Bottle Blonde: "Sweetie, that cat isn't coming in, he's going out."

    Jim C
  9. by   FutureRN~Pookie
    Originally posted by SRNJIM
    Hi Guys,

    How about this one

    Bottle Blonde: "Honey, there's that one-eyed cat coming in the door again."

    Husband of
    Bottle Blonde: "Sweetie, that cat isn't coming in, he's going out."

    Jim C

    OH MY GAWD!!!!

    ~Kacy
  10. by   FutureRN~Pookie
    Originally posted by Rapheal
    As a blonde I am going toss one right back to you guys.

    What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes? INVISIBLE!

    lol lol lol

    WOOOT!! Amen! Thank you for the brunette joke! I, too, am a *natural* blonde!

    And I beg to differ on the subject of there's no such thing as a smart blonde...I'm proof that there *are* such!!!

    Thanks for the laughs guys!!!!!

    ~Kacy
  11. by   Shamrock
    Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
    A. Cause you have to hollow out his head!

    (One for those blonde men out there.)
  12. by   Shamrock
    A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
    Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?"
    "The sucker called again!"
  13. by   Shamrock
    Once there was a blonde who was going to take flying lessons, so she went to the airport to rent a plane. The manager told her there were no planes left so she would have to use a helicopter. So the blonde got in the helicopter and took off. Every 10 miles she checked in with the manager; after the first 10 miles, she said it was a blast. When she reached 20 she told him that she had never seen so many buttons. But when she reached 30 miles she didn't check in so the manager went to rescue her. When he found her he asked her how she crashed. The blonde replied, "It was getting cold so I turned off the big fan."

    Sorry, got carried away and could
    not stop!!

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