Humor For A Friday Afternoon

  1. in the beginning god covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and
    spinach, green, yellow, and red vegetables of all kinds; so man and
    woman would live long and healthy lives.



    then using god's bountiful gifts, satan created ben and jerry's and
    krispy kreme. and satan said, "you want hot fudge with that?" and
    man said, "yes!" and woman said, "i'll have another withsprinkles."
    and lo and behold they gained 10 pounds.

    and god created the healthful yogurt that woman might
    keep the figure that man found so fair.

    and satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from
    the cane, and combined them. and woman went from size 2 to size 10.


    so god said, "try my fresh green salad."

    and satan presented crumbled bleu cheese dressing and garlic toast
    on the side and man and woman unfastened their belts following the
    repast.

    god then said, "i have sent you heart healthy vegetables
    and olive oil in which to cook them."


    and satan brought forth deep fried coconut shrimp, butter dipped
    lobster chunks and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
    platter. and man's cholesterol went through the roof.

    god then brought forth running shoes so that his children
    might lose those extra pounds.

    and satan came forth with a cable tv with remote control so man
    would not have to toil changing the channels. and man and woman
    laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing
    stretch jogging suits.

    then god brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat
    and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

    then satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
    center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats and added
    copious quantities of salt and man put on more pounds.

    god then gave lean beef so that man might consume
    fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

    and satan created mcdonald's and the 99-cent double cheeseburger.

    then lucifer said, "you want fries with that?" and man replied,"yes!
    and super size' em!" and satan said, "it is good." and man wentinto
    cardiac arrest.

    god sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

    and satan created hmos.

    amen
    •  
  2. 11 Comments

  3. by   VivaLasViejas
    Too funny, Fran!! Thanks for sharing!!
  4. by   jnette
    Fran, you have too much time on your hands. :chuckle
  5. by   leslie :-D
    this one will be copied and hung on my fridge. thanks fran
  6. by   ginger1023
    lol... :chuckle ...I enjoyed that for laughter is the best medicine...I listened to the radio the other day and they said that LAUGHTER actually is a therapeutic measure to prevent heart attacks...
    THANKS AGAIN
  7. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from jnette
    Fran, you have too much time on your hands. :chuckle
    Ya made me laugh out loud with that remark!!!
  8. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from ginger1023
    lol... :chuckle ...I enjoyed that for laughter is the best medicine...I listened to the radio the other day and they said that LAUGHTER actually is a therapeutic measure to prevent heart attacks...
    THANKS AGAIN
    It's true. Why do ya think I love to post funnies and love to laugh??? Jnette# 2:chuckle
  9. by   nursebedlam
    yup l enjoyed that one too
  10. by   FranEMTnurse
    I'm glad everyone enjoyed it. I thought it had a rather catchy ending.:chuckle
  11. by   ginger1023
    that was to funny ...my grandson asked me the other day
    "Grandma where can you find a dog with no legs"..I kept thinking ..my grandson started to laugh..:chuckle
    "grandma THINK ..you'll find him right where someone left him"...
    from the mouth of babes....
  12. by   dansamy
    How many calories does belly-laughing out loud burn?
  13. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from dansamy
    How many calories does belly-laughing out loud burn?
    Ya know? I never thought to figure that out.

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