Funny things you have said but wish you didn't

Nurses Humor

Published

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out.

That remark started the person on the other end's funnybone. In response to my question, he yelled to the help, "Do we have any toilet paper? The lady on the phone wants to know." Then he said, "Yes we do, but it's rather coorifice. What grade would you like?"

Specializes in Neurology, Neurosurgerical & Trauma ICU.

Ok....so this isn't one that I said, but was told to me by one of the docs (We'll call him Joe) at work yesterday.....I swear I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! It was too good not to share!

Joe was involved in the care of a trauma patient that had come into the ER. Well, apparently they were about to do a rectal exam. The resident (not the same doc as the one telling the story) that was going to do it meant to say "You're gonna feel some pressure in your rectum"..........instead it came out "You're gonna feel my member in your rectum". :imbar :rotfl: :roll

Apparently everyone heard it and they were laughing hysterically.....he was so embarassed, he just turned around and walked out of the room!

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Specializes in Neurology, Neurosurgerical & Trauma ICU.

Ok....so this isn't one that I said, but was told to me by one of the docs (We'll call him Joe) at work yesterday.....I swear I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! It was too good not to share!

Joe was involved in the care of a trauma patient that had come into the ER. Well, apparently they were about to do a rectal exam. The resident (not the same doc as the one telling the story) that was going to do it meant to say "You're gonna feel some pressure in your rectum"..........instead it came out "You're gonna feel my member in your rectum". :imbar :rotfl: :roll

Apparently everyone heard it and they were laughing hysterically.....he was so embarassed, he just turned around and walked out of the room!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Ok....so this isn't one that I said, but was told to me by one of the docs (We'll call him Joe) at work yesterday.....I swear I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! It was too good not to share!

Joe was involved in the care of a trauma patient that had come into the ER. Well, apparently they were about to do a rectal exam. The resident (not the same doc as the one telling the story) that was going to do it meant to say "You're gonna feel some pressure in your rectum"..........instead it came out "You're gonna feel my member in your rectum". :imbar :rotfl: :roll

Apparently everyone heard it and they were laughing hysterically.....he was so embarassed, he just turned around and walked out of the room!

:uhoh3: "there's always time for lubricant"

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Ok....so this isn't one that I said, but was told to me by one of the docs (We'll call him Joe) at work yesterday.....I swear I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! It was too good not to share!

Joe was involved in the care of a trauma patient that had come into the ER. Well, apparently they were about to do a rectal exam. The resident (not the same doc as the one telling the story) that was going to do it meant to say "You're gonna feel some pressure in your rectum"..........instead it came out "You're gonna feel my member in your rectum". :imbar :rotfl: :roll

Apparently everyone heard it and they were laughing hysterically.....he was so embarassed, he just turned around and walked out of the room!

:uhoh3: "there's always time for lubricant"

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I hope he used surgilube, and standard precautions!!!!

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I hope he used surgilube, and standard precautions!!!!

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Ok....so this isn't one that I said, but was told to me by one of the docs (We'll call him Joe) at work yesterday.....I swear I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! It was too good not to share!

Joe was involved in the care of a trauma patient that had come into the ER. Well, apparently they were about to do a rectal exam. The resident (not the same doc as the one telling the story) that was going to do it meant to say "You're gonna feel some pressure in your rectum"..........instead it came out "You're gonna feel my member in your rectum". :imbar :rotfl: :roll

Apparently everyone heard it and they were laughing hysterically.....he was so embarassed, he just turned around and walked out of the room!

Possible Freudian slip???:rotfl:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Ok....so this isn't one that I said, but was told to me by one of the docs (We'll call him Joe) at work yesterday.....I swear I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! It was too good not to share!

Joe was involved in the care of a trauma patient that had come into the ER. Well, apparently they were about to do a rectal exam. The resident (not the same doc as the one telling the story) that was going to do it meant to say "You're gonna feel some pressure in your rectum"..........instead it came out "You're gonna feel my member in your rectum". :imbar :rotfl: :roll

Apparently everyone heard it and they were laughing hysterically.....he was so embarassed, he just turned around and walked out of the room!

Possible Freudian slip???:rotfl:

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Specializes in LTC.

:rotfl: When I worked in a family practice office , several of the male pts were being given Viagra. Doc was giving this pt Viagra for the first time and told him not to take too many , it would blow his head off. Of course he was talking about the vaso constricting properties of the drug.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

When I was very young (wet behind the ears) I worked in a pharmacy before becoming a nurse. Some OTC meds were kept behind the counter and had to be asked for by the customers. One day this gent came in asking for "Detain". Not knowing what it was I asked him what it was used for, turns out it is member desentizer. Broke me from asking the whats it for question.

Then there was the time a gentleman came in asking for condoms. I pointed to the display beside the counter and continued to wait on customers. Finally, I see him looking at me with a very puzzled look on his face. When I looked over at him he said "these? holding up a large box of multicolored fiesta condoms "for this?' he said as he held up a cake.

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Specializes in LTC.

:rotfl: When I worked in a family practice office , several of the male pts were being given Viagra. Doc was giving this pt Viagra for the first time and told him not to take too many , it would blow his head off. Of course he was talking about the vaso constricting properties of the drug.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

When I was very young (wet behind the ears) I worked in a pharmacy before becoming a nurse. Some OTC meds were kept behind the counter and had to be asked for by the customers. One day this gent came in asking for "Detain". Not knowing what it was I asked him what it was used for, turns out it is member desentizer. Broke me from asking the whats it for question.

Then there was the time a gentleman came in asking for condoms. I pointed to the display beside the counter and continued to wait on customers. Finally, I see him looking at me with a very puzzled look on his face. When I looked over at him he said "these? holding up a large box of multicolored fiesta condoms "for this?' he said as he held up a cake.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC.

:rotfl: When I worked in a family practice office , several of the male pts were being given Viagra. Doc was giving this pt Viagra for the first time and told him not to take too many , it would blow his head off. Of course he was talking about the vaso constricting properties of the drug.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

When I was very young (wet behind the ears) I worked in a pharmacy before becoming a nurse. Some OTC meds were kept behind the counter and had to be asked for by the customers. One day this gent came in asking for "Detain". Not knowing what it was I asked him what it was used for, turns out it is member desentizer. Broke me from asking the whats it for question.

Then there was the time a gentleman came in asking for condoms. I pointed to the display beside the counter and continued to wait on customers. Finally, I see him looking at me with a very puzzled look on his face. When I looked over at him he said "these? holding up a large box of multicolored fiesta condoms "for this?' he said as he held up a cake.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC.

:rotfl: When I worked in a family practice office , several of the male pts were being given Viagra. Doc was giving this pt Viagra for the first time and told him not to take too many , it would blow his head off. Of course he was talking about the vaso constricting properties of the drug.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

When I was very young (wet behind the ears) I worked in a pharmacy before becoming a nurse. Some OTC meds were kept behind the counter and had to be asked for by the customers. One day this gent came in asking for "Detain". Not knowing what it was I asked him what it was used for, turns out it is member desentizer. Broke me from asking the whats it for question.

Then there was the time a gentleman came in asking for condoms. I pointed to the display beside the counter and continued to wait on customers. Finally, I see him looking at me with a very puzzled look on his face. When I looked over at him he said "these? holding up a large box of multicolored fiesta condoms "for this?' he said as he held up a cake.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
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