Funny things you have said but wish you didn't - page 11

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out. That remark started the... Read More

  1. by   Jamesdotter
    I accosted a man with a full black beard at the nurses' station one o'dark thirty, asking what he was doing there in the middle of the night (this was in the days before families stayed and stayed and stayed--). He was quite insulted. It was one of the 3rd year residents. I hadn't seen him for a year and had NEVER seen him with all that hair on his face!
  2. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from kmrmom42
    This one happened to a friend of mine:
    She was encouraged a laboring hispanic woman to push by stating...loudly and clearly Puta! Puta! Puta!

    The doctor let this go on for a little while but eventually she looked up and calmly stated "Kathy, I think the patient might push more effectively if you stop calling her a WHORE!"

    Puta means whore or prostitute. Puja means push!!!

    She has never lived this one down!
    I agree with neuroICURN I don't doubt that one bit.
  3. by   lpnin03
    I live in VA and was in KY for a few days. I called my cell phone company to make sure that I was not being charged for roaming. When the customer service rep answered the phone I asked her' "yes, I was wondering if you could tell me if I am in roam or not?" After I said it she paused for a moment and I realized what she must have been thinking. I quickly said, "I know I'm not in Rome. I'm just wanting to make sure that I'm not being charged for roaming!" We both got a big laugh out of it!
  4. by   AmethystVeralyn
    Quote from NeuroICURN
    LMAO!!! That is too funny! :roll
    Maybe the hispanic woman would have liked

    to learn some English while she was in labor.
  5. by   lovingangeluk
    Quote from IamRN
    In this particular unit we usually gave a taped end of shift report, but it wasn't unusual to give an oral report, need be.

    The one male nurse in the unit was due to tape. I found where he was and opened the door to the patients room and asked him, as he was holding the male patients "urethra" in his hand and ready to insert a foley cath, "Are you giving oral?" :uhoh21: :imbar
    ROFL excellent.. sounds like something I would say! :chuckle
  6. by   Kansas_RN
    i work part time at a family practice office when i'm not working 12 hr shifts on our med/surg floor. well last month i put my foot in my mouth. after talking to a pt about the daily wts he was supposed to bring to the appt. and all the teaching i personal had done with this newly diagnosed chf-er he proceded to tell me that no one had told him any of these things when he was in the hospital. i told him i had twice. he of course said it must have been when he was really sick. i said -- no, it was the night before you went home. you were watching wheel of fortune when you turned off the tv to listen to me....anyway before the doc went in he asked me if the pt brought his wts with hime (knowing this doc he heard me talking to the pt.) i told him a brief run down and finished the story with ...."i work over at the hospital and here.....these pt's aren't going to get away with telling these stories now since i'm here and i go both ways"
    the doc, who is a real joker just looked thoughtful and said, "um...you go both ways" with completely a straight face, and walked away with me sputtering a correction. :imbar

    then last time i worked there was this skinny rail of a pt. she was about 6'0". after putting her in a room i came out and we were talking and i said my wt would look alot better if i were that tall...."boy, do you know what i could do with an extra 5-7 inches." the nurse sitting next to me couldn't quit laughing......i finally got the joke. luckily the "joker" was in with a pt.
  7. by   celticqueen
    i was looking after a lady with bilateral above knee amputations. As we were getting into the lift, she run over my foot with her electric wheelchair. She apoligized, but i replied "it's ok, i've got another one", she looked at me and said "i wish i did!!!!!" Thankfully she saw the funny side, but i felt awful.
  8. by   jodygirl232
    I work in the CCU taking back cabg's from the or. A visitor was looking for a pt named Mr. Johnson. The surgeon was in the heart room so I asked him Dr. Smith did you do a Johnson today. He became very indignant and stated "I most certainly did not" and walked out the room. The guys started laughing and informed me that a johnson was now called that slang for a penis. I started laughing and stated well guess that shows you how old I am.
  9. by   SusanJean
    We were remodeling our house and visiting a number of stores to get ideas. My husband has a very loud, friendly manner, and a tendency to talk w/out thinking.

    As the salesman approached us, my husband loudly said "I'd like to pick your ear." The salesman turned and RAN. I started laughing so hard, I had to leave the store, my husband got very upset w/ me and had NO idea what in the heck was going on...

    I had to explain the shock on the poor man's face and why he ran off - my husband mixed up the sayings " bend your ear " and "pick your brain".

    Now, yrs later, dh thinks it is funny. :chuckle
  10. by   Leadbyexample
    Quote from Marisaej
    While on night duty, at about 3 in the morning, one of our patients passed away. The charge siser had to call a porter to come and take the deceased to the morgue. She gave her name, and the patients name, and was very surprised to receive a rude comment and the phone put down in her ear. She was Sister Fox, and the patient, coincidently, was mr. Wolf...

    Giggling my fool head off with this one!!!!
  11. by   Leadbyexample
    Quote from IamRN
    In this particular unit we usually gave a taped end of shift report, but it wasn't unusual to give an oral report, need be.

    The one male nurse in the unit was due to tape. I found where he was and opened the door to the patients room and asked him, as he was holding the male patients "urethra" in his hand and ready to insert a foley cath, "Are you giving oral?" :uhoh21: :imbar
    OMG!!! THIS IS TOO FUNNY FOR WORDS!!!!!!!!
  12. by   CHATSDALE
    two residents male/female are SO and share a room at this LTC facility...she had seen some of those tv commercials about 'male enhancement' and she came to the nurses station and wanted us to call the md and get some for him... he came over mad as anything and said. LOUDLY, do you have anything to shrink up the grand canyon
  13. by   rn/writer
    i had to give an oral report about my patient after one of my first med/surg clinical days. i mentioned that she had just undergone a below-knee amputation and everyone, including the instructor, burst out laughing. turns out i had been speaking so fast that the class heard "baloney amputation." i suppose it would have been even funnier if i'd had a male patient.

    many years ago, i responded to an emt call for a man who'd caught his fingers in some kind of industrial press. one of the other emts was a woman who had a kind of smug attitude. i could work with her but i didn't enjoy it. at any rate, this poor man had the back of his glove sliced open and his fingers nearly severed. we packaged the mangled mess and transported him, per his request, sitting up on the cot with his injured hand cradled in the other arm. on the way to the hospital, he said, "we're just about to pass my house." my know-it-all friend smiled and said, "is anyone home? you can wave as we go by." it took about five seconds for the pt. and the rest of us to realized what she'd said. she could have died. fortunately, the patient was a good guy. he said something like, "maybe later." and me? well, i had to walk around for the next hour thinking, "i must not gloat. i must not gloat. i must not gloat."


    miranda f.
    Last edit by rn/writer on Jan 8, '05

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