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Funny things you have said but wish you didn't



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No. 100
from galenight
Old Sep 28, 2004, 09:13 AM

As I mentioned in this post previously, I sometimes turn my words around. Well, we were in Chicago this weekend and there was an Irish pub dowstairs called Kitty O'Shea's. So I said.. hey, let's go to Shi--y Okays....LOL... no I hadn't had anything to drink yet.
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No. 101
Old Sep 28, 2004, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by NeuroICURN
I don't get it...what am I missing???
The office staff who were the first to hear about this
comment burst into hysterics.
One said, "Do I have a desperate look in my eyes?"

You can tell by someones eyes if they're losing blood
or if they have drugs in their system but can you
look in their eyes and tell they were never married?
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No. 102
Old Sep 28, 2004, 11:14 AM

Originally Posted by mjlrn97
My DH and I were reminiscing tonight (it's our anniversary) and a particularly embarrassing moment from our early years together came up in the conversation:

Bill was working at a local car dealership back then, and I often called him on his lunch break to whisper 'sweet nothings' and suggest......well.....new things we might try later that evening. So this one day I called, and when he came on the phone I started with "Hi, you sexy thang!" and proceeded to tell him, in excruciating detail, what I had planned for us that night. When I finally finished, there was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment, then a burst of laughter as he answered, "Well, what you've told me is VERY interesting, and I'd love to take you up on that offer.....but I think you may want to let your husband in on it first!"

Turned out that the man who'd answered the phone was also named Bill, and his voice sounded so much like MY Bill's that I'd mistaken him for my DH!! Talk about embarrassed!! And it didn't help that the guy kept teasing me about it for months afterward.......whenever a call for Bill was announced over the loudspeaker, he'd answer the phone and go "Hey, you sexy thang!"
I love it, Marla. it's a typical you thing. Just think about the memories you're making for yourself and others.
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No. 103
Old Sep 28, 2004, 04:06 PM

Originally Posted by Franemtnurse
I love it, Marla. it's a typical you thing. Just think about the memories you're making for yourself and others.
Oh yeah, well I'm just thrilled.......

Another time I let my face fly open before asking my brain for permission, was when I met the new plastic surgeon in town, from whom I'd received a flyer in the mail with information about the services he was offering. I shook his hand, said my how-do-you-do's, and then this came out: "You look much more handsome in person than you do in your picture!" He thought it was funny, as did my co-workers, who have never let me live that one down.
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No. 104
from veteranRN
Old Sep 28, 2004, 06:42 PM

When I was in the 6th grade, I had to read allowed something in front of the class. It was about Africa and the Niger River (I think). Anyway, I pronounced it "****** River". To this day I am horribly embarrassed
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No. 105
Old Sep 28, 2004, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by veteranRN
When I was in the 6th grade, I had to read allowed something in front of the class. It was about Africa and the Niger River (I think). Anyway, I pronounced it "****** River". To this day I am horribly embarrassed
Uh.....oops!

For what it's worth, I did the very same thing way back in elementary school. What's sad is, none of my classmates knew the difference......the teacher gently corrected my pronunciation, but we were just a bunch of small-town white and Latino kids who'd never even met a black person. That didn't change until 1968, when Emanuel came to town......he stayed only a year, but that was long enough to give us a little perspective on things at a time when the world outside the safe haven of our little town was literally in flames over racial issues.

Dang, there I go getting all retrospective again.......wrong thread. Sorry.
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No. 106
Old Sep 29, 2004, 01:58 AM

I was beginning an assessment on a high cervical paraplegic (no feeling below the neck) and said "My stethoscope's cold, let me warm it up a little in my hand here so it won't feel so cold on your chest." He kind of did an eyebrow shrug and grinned... oops!
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No. 107
from jett01
Old Sep 29, 2004, 05:18 AM

Here's a few. A few years back my mother was asking if we had seen the Julia Roberts movie "Sleeping with the enema?" I explained that sleeping and enemas don't go together.

During nursing school we were discussing various disorders and the instructor began talking about chorea. I turned to a classmate and said, "if that occurs in your lower extremities would that be South chorea?"

Occasionally I bump into former patients dressed (obviously) in street clothes. I've never been good at recognizing people outside a context I'm used to seeing them. My response to these patients is often, "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you standing up with your clothes on."
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No. 108
from sb22
Old Sep 29, 2004, 05:44 PM

My husband is a youth pastor and one day he was doing a lesson from Genesis where it talks about Adam and Eve were embarrassed about being naked and sewed fig leaves together to make clothing. One of the boys in the group was reading the verse aloud and said, "They were naked so they s@rewed". He lost the lesson at that point, but learned a valuable lesson himself on having people read aloud.
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No. 109
Old Sep 29, 2004, 05:54 PM

Good one!!!!
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