Funny things patients say ! - page 2

by TAM 199,516 Views | 298 Comments

While working in the emergency room I was taking care of a 90 year old lady who came in by wheelchair from a local rest home. Her complaint was right leg swelling and we found an obvious deformity of the femur but she denied any... Read More

  1. 3
    I have discovered the clue that supports my belief that this is a fake board where bshort is doing all the personalities except for maybe 2 or 3 of us.

    Perhaps some of you will not believe this, but then again that is probably what bshort will have his characters say.

    In the above thread there are three folks to look at TAM, MrMcPhysto, and BellaCarla. If you compare their member #'s, and start date's you will see that this was not possible.

    I certainly hope this is not a board setup for the sole purpose of getting me to disclose my secrets to be used against me. I will never tell!!


    [ May 01, 2001: Message edited by: HotSpam ]
    MassED, kool-aide, RN, and canoehead like this.
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    Sheesz, LMAO!!!

    I admitted an 86 yo woman to home care today. She has a lemon-sized lump on her R breast, and told me that after watching her husband suffer with chemo, she would not do that to herself. Yes, she says, the doctor knows all about it, she's had it for 2 years, started out as the size of a marble.

    "Yeah," she says, "I told them, don't bother with the autopsy or nothin'! I'm not gonna take no chemo anyway!"

    Obviously she meant she didn't want a biospy, not autopsy! It was hard not cracking up, especially about something so serious!
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    I admitted a pt today that told me the only surgery she ever had was a "tubal litigation" and that one of her home meds is "thenofiofaline"(theophylline)! Gotts love 'em!
    maelstrom143 and carolmaccas66 like this.
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    I still giggle when I think of a story my mom told me about having her first baby. She say the only way to have a baby is to be "put to sleep with the first pain and woke up when the hairdresser gets there" anyway after the birth a nun came in and asked her "did you void?" mom said all she could think about was a vast open space and when she thought about it some more she got it and said yes
    silverbat and maelstrom143 like this.
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    There has been many over the past years - but one that always stands out happened shortly after moving to SC from PA. An elderly patient on hemodialysis said "I'm going to give up" my thought was -she just wants to stop this and die- As I was trying to think of what to say- another nurse swoops around me with an emesis basin, just in the nick of time!
    maelstrom143 and Orange Tree like this.
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    Working on a Progressive Care Unit, I had to
    smile one day when I received a phone call
    asking if this was the "regressive care unit"
  7. 0
    Originally posted by teletracker:
    <STRONG>Working on a Progressive Care Unit, I had to
    smile one day when I received a phone call
    asking if this was the "regressive care unit"</STRONG>
    Just a question for my curiosity...I've never heard of it. What's a Progressive Care Unit?


    Just e-mail me...
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    I'll always remember a patient who came to the fertility clinic to have her 'fert-ability' checked. It just made so much sense!
    silverbat, sharpeimom, Orange Tree, and 2 others like this.
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    My mom still says, I have to get a mammyogram for mammogram. It cracks me up. Of course, I have inherited her quirks. I just found out the song, "My eyes adored you, etc.", and I have been singing, "My eyes of Georgia" for years. My friend thought "Dog eat dog world" was "Doggy dog world". Thank God for loving us non perfect people.
    lehcareaj, Kandy83, and Blu rose like this.
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    I work in a pediatric hospital and one night a little boy pressed his call light - we answered over the intercom and asked him "Can I help you?" He replied, "Can I please see your dessert menu?" Even kids get confused between a hospital and a hotel!