Funny things patients say ! - page 2

by TAM | 212,473 Views | 307 Comments

While working in the emergency room I was taking care of a 90 year old lady who came in by wheelchair from a local rest home. Her complaint was right leg swelling and we found an obvious deformity of the femur but she denied any... Read More


  1. 4
    Sheesz, LMAO!!!

    I admitted an 86 yo woman to home care today. She has a lemon-sized lump on her R breast, and told me that after watching her husband suffer with chemo, she would not do that to herself. Yes, she says, the doctor knows all about it, she's had it for 2 years, started out as the size of a marble.

    "Yeah," she says, "I told them, don't bother with the autopsy or nothin'! I'm not gonna take no chemo anyway!"

    Obviously she meant she didn't want a biospy, not autopsy! It was hard not cracking up, especially about something so serious!
  2. 2
    I admitted a pt today that told me the only surgery she ever had was a "tubal litigation" and that one of her home meds is "thenofiofaline"(theophylline)! Gotts love 'em!
    maelstrom143 and carolmaccas66 like this.
  3. 2
    I still giggle when I think of a story my mom told me about having her first baby. She say the only way to have a baby is to be "put to sleep with the first pain and woke up when the hairdresser gets there" anyway after the birth a nun came in and asked her "did you void?" mom said all she could think about was a vast open space and when she thought about it some more she got it and said yes
    silverbat and maelstrom143 like this.
  4. 5
    There has been many over the past years - but one that always stands out happened shortly after moving to SC from PA. An elderly patient on hemodialysis said "I'm going to give up" my thought was -she just wants to stop this and die- As I was trying to think of what to say- another nurse swoops around me with an emesis basin, just in the nick of time!
  5. 8
    Working on a Progressive Care Unit, I had to
    smile one day when I received a phone call
    asking if this was the "regressive care unit"
  6. 0
    Originally posted by teletracker:
    <STRONG>Working on a Progressive Care Unit, I had to
    smile one day when I received a phone call
    asking if this was the "regressive care unit"</STRONG>
    Just a question for my curiosity...I've never heard of it. What's a Progressive Care Unit?

    Amanda

    Just e-mail me... panda_181@hotmail.com
  7. 5
    I'll always remember a patient who came to the fertility clinic to have her 'fert-ability' checked. It just made so much sense!
    silverbat, sharpeimom, Orange Tree, and 2 others like this.
  8. 4
    My mom still says, I have to get a mammyogram for mammogram. It cracks me up. Of course, I have inherited her quirks. I just found out the song, "My eyes adored you, etc.", and I have been singing, "My eyes of Georgia" for years. My friend thought "Dog eat dog world" was "Doggy dog world". Thank God for loving us non perfect people.
  9. 15
    I work in a pediatric hospital and one night a little boy pressed his call light - we answered over the intercom and asked him "Can I help you?" He replied, "Can I please see your dessert menu?" Even kids get confused between a hospital and a hotel!
  10. 15
    Two recent funnies. I was taking care of a 5 yr old. I work 7p-7a and after I took the midnight vitals he looked up to me and admonished me for being up so late and that I was going to get in trouble if I didn't get to bed soon. No amount of explaining convinced him otherwise.
    The second story took place this last Christmas. I was taking care of a charming lol. She was very quite, bedridden, and never put on her call light. Early in the am her call light went off. I rushed in to see want she need (she spoke with a very thick Russian accent and you could not understand her over the speaker). Vhat time es it? she said with a twinkle in her eye. About 1:30 in the morning I replied. Vell, she said Kreesmas is over, bak to vork. I just had to laugh.


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