Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

Published

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in Making the Pt laugh..

Pt D/C notes after treatment for heat exhaustion- "Avoid heat exhaustion for at least a week"

I hope the Pt understood that, I didn't.

Specializes in PCT - ER, Ortho, Neuro, Med-Surg.

Not really funny, but worth sharing, I think...

Whether it is #6 or #26 on written admit orders a certain doctor hands me when I'm working as ER unit clerk, the last numerated order always is

"thank you"

and then his signature.

Nice. And far too rare these days.

Not really funny, but worth sharing, I think...

Whether it is #6 or #26 on written admit orders a certain doctor hands me when I'm working as ER unit clerk, the last numerated order always is

"thank you"

and then his signature.

Nice. And far too rare these days.

That is really nice of him

Specializes in Neuro.

One of our neurologists does that. He'll write the date and time and say..

Please d/c IVF

Thanks!

Dr. So-and-so

Oddest (and sweetest) order I've ever seen was for a lady with CA who had to go straight from the hospital to a nursing home so she could start chemo. I had to call and get an order so her cats could come see her in the hospital.

Working on a Pulmonary/GenMedicine floor, we saw lots of chronic conditions.

One of 'em was a CHF'er w HTN who simply loved her bacon for breakfast. It didn't help that she was naturally predisposed to an increased risk because of her ethnicity.

Naturally, sometimes when dieticians write recommendations, they and the docs can forget that our patients are actually human beings that won't eat food if it's not tasty, appears unappealing or is just plain ol' more bland than baby food.

So, one morning after my assesments and during my morning rounds, I asked her how the food was. The hospital's kitchen had earned a wonderful reputation for having one of the most wonderfully prepared breakfasts in the area, bar none. So I was truly wondering how my patient was faring when I asked, "how's your breakfast?"

"Ah cain' eat a thang," she said, in obvious exasperation.

"They won't let me have my bacon, laks ah eats at home. Ah jus' gots' tuh have ma bacon fuh breakfus."

I was completely sympathetic with her, because she wasn't eating anything. No breakfast, no lunch and no supper. It was almost a chore to get her to concede to some peanut butter and crackers!

Determined I could help her, I told her I supposed that the kitchen could make some turkey bacon for her. She responded enthusiastically!

So the next day, when her doc rounded, and after his assessment of her, I took him aside and persuaded him to write an order for turkey bacon for breakfast. He acceded to my request and patient advocacy by writing:

"Patient may have turkey bacon for breakfast."

She got her turkey bacon, ate breakfast, and we eventually discharged her... happy as a lark!

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
We have a staff doc that is nearing 105 and now finds his daily joy in writing orders in the most creative manor possible. His latest creation is writing "squeezies to legs" instead of SCDs. This is the same doc that draws a smiley face on the steristrips of every surgical patient he has. Last week I noticed that not only did he draw a smiley face on a lap appy pt, but he made a speech bubble on the steristrip next to it with the word "ouch" written in. Oh my.

:lol_hitti

:hehe:Sounds like the old boy has entered his second or third childhood. Love it.!!!:yeah:
Specializes in ED/trauma.
We have a staff doc that is nearing 105 and now finds his daily joy in writing orders in the most creative manor possible. His latest creation is writing "squeezies to legs" instead of SCDs. This is the same doc that draws a smiley face on the steristrips of every surgical patient he has. Last week I noticed that not only did he draw a smiley face on a lap appy pt, but he made a speech bubble on the steristrip next to it with the word "ouch" written in. Oh my.

:lol_hitti

I wish more docs were that fun!

:hpygrp:

Specializes in SICU.

Last year we had one of our interns write in the chart:

Please D/C foley

Jug to bedside for urination

Gee, do you think he meant plastic urinal? :-) My co-workers and I still have a good laugh over that one!

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
We had a patient once who was an alcoholic and a COPDer. The doc, a pulmonologist, would write..Black Velvet, 30cc Q6hrs,prn..I am NOT kidding either. The pharmacy had to go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of BV and then we had to keep it locked in the narc cupboard and sign out each shot of BV!!!!

Kelly:)

Hmmmm, did it keep him calm?
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
a frustrated doc who was "attacked" when he came to the floor with a list of questions from several nurses turned and told all the nurses, "percocet for all patients, valium for all nurses" :)
:yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah:
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
LAST WEEK OUR ENTIRE NIGHT SHIFT WAS "ATTACKED" BY A FELLOW IN DT'S. SENT 2 SECURITY OFFICERS TO THE ED WITH INJURIES. THIS GUY PULLED THE MIRROR OFFA THE WALL ,FLOODED THE ROOM ALONG WITH ALL HIS "ACTING OUT".

THE MD WOULD NOT ALLOW HIM TO BE SENT TO LA-LA LAND AND ONLY ORDERED ENOUGH HALDOL TO PI$$ OFF THIS GUY. WELL, HAD I BEEN THE MD,I WOULD HAVE SENT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE FOR A BEVRAGE OF THE ALCOHOL FOOD GROUP,WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A P.O. BOLUS AND THEN WOULD HAVE PLACED HIM ON OUR DETOX PROTOCOL...YEAH,WE HAVE A PROTOCOL...AND IT WORKS...IF UTILIZED. WE ALSO HAVE AN ALCOHOLIC TREATMENT FACILITY IN THIS INSTITUTION...THEY REFUSED TO TAKE HIM AS A TRANSFER BECAUSE HE HAD NOT BEEN DE-TOXED. HAVING WORKED THS UNIT PRN,I SAID,...UMMMM...WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT TAKING HIM,....OH,I SEE,ALL THE ACTIVE DRINKERS ARE ADMITTED FOM EVERY CORNER OF THIS STATE, AND YOU CANNOT TAKE HIM BECAUSE HE ISN'T DRINKING...!!!!!!! ALRIGHTY THEN...

MY POINT...I HOLD THE MD RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING THE KNOWLEDGE OF THIS GUY'S ALCOHOLISM FROM DAY ONE AND FOR IGNORING THE PLEAS OF STAFF TO PLACE HIM ON THE PROTOCOL IMMEDIATELY. IS THIS NOT CALLED NEGLIGENCE AND ISN'T IT A SHAME THAT WE CANNOT INITIATE LITIGATION AGAINST THE MD FOR ENDANGERMENT OF STAFF...

THERE I GO AGAIN...VERY TIRED...'SCUSE ME...

WOULD RATHER TAKE CARE OF A PACK OF RABID WOLVES THAN BE "WATCHING " FOR SYMPTOMS OF DT'S AND HAVING REQUESTS FOR ESTABLISHED PROTOCOLS IGNORED. I HAVE ALL IDEAS THESE PATIENTS ARE TRULY SUFFERING,AND IT IS MY JOB TO ALEVIATE THE SYMPTOMS,BUT NO LONGER WILL I RISK MY A$$ OR MY EARNING POTENTIAL DUE TO THE STUPIDITY OF AN EDUCATED IDIOT!!!!!!!!

:( :(

I :yeah:LOVE YOUR POST HONEY, AND I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. I HAVE A FEELING THE EDUCATED IDIOTS ARE MULTIPLYING :yeah:TOO.:yeah:God forbid!!!!!:D
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
LAST WEEK OUR ENTIRE NIGHT SHIFT WAS "ATTACKED" BY A FELLOW IN DT'S. SENT 2 SECURITY OFFICERS TO THE ED WITH INJURIES. THIS GUY PULLED THE MIRROR OFFA THE WALL ,FLOODED THE ROOM ALONG WITH ALL HIS "ACTING OUT".

THE MD WOULD NOT ALLOW HIM TO BE SENT TO LA-LA LAND AND ONLY ORDERED ENOUGH HALDOL TO PI$$ OFF THIS GUY. WELL, HAD I BEEN THE MD,I WOULD HAVE SENT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE FOR A BEVRAGE OF THE ALCOHOL FOOD GROUP,WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A P.O. BOLUS AND THEN WOULD HAVE PLACED HIM ON OUR DETOX PROTOCOL...YEAH,WE HAVE A PROTOCOL...AND IT WORKS...IF UTILIZED. WE ALSO HAVE AN ALCOHOLIC TREATMENT FACILITY IN THIS INSTITUTION...THEY REFUSED TO TAKE HIM AS A TRANSFER BECAUSE HE HAD NOT BEEN DE-TOXED. HAVING WORKED THS UNIT PRN,I SAID,...UMMMM...WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT TAKING HIM,....OH,I SEE,ALL THE ACTIVE DRINKERS ARE ADMITTED FOM EVERY CORNER OF THIS STATE, AND YOU CANNOT TAKE HIM BECAUSE HE ISN'T DRINKING...!!!!!!! ALRIGHTY THEN...

MY POINT...I HOLD THE MD RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING THE KNOWLEDGE OF THIS GUY'S ALCOHOLISM FROM DAY ONE AND FOR IGNORING THE PLEAS OF STAFF TO PLACE HIM ON THE PROTOCOL IMMEDIATELY. IS THIS NOT CALLED NEGLIGENCE AND ISN'T IT A SHAME THAT WE CANNOT INITIATE LITIGATION AGAINST THE MD FOR ENDANGERMENT OF STAFF...

THERE I GO AGAIN...VERY TIRED...'SCUSE ME...

WOULD RATHER TAKE CARE OF A PACK OF RABID WOLVES THAN BE "WATCHING " FOR SYMPTOMS OF DT'S AND HAVING REQUESTS FOR ESTABLISHED PROTOCOLS IGNORED. I HAVE ALL IDEAS THESE PATIENTS ARE TRULY SUFFERING,AND IT IS MY JOB TO ALEVIATE THE SYMPTOMS,BUT NO LONGER WILL I RISK MY A$$ OR MY EARNING POTENTIAL DUE TO THE STUPIDITY OF AN EDUCATED IDIOT!!!!!!!!

:( :(

goofy.jpgDuh wadja say?
+ Add a Comment