Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 47

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from andylane78
    a frustrated doc who was "attacked" when he came to the floor with a list of questions from several nurses turned and told all the nurses, "percocet for all patients, valium for all nurses"
  2. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from suzannasue
    LAST WEEK OUR ENTIRE NIGHT SHIFT WAS "ATTACKED" BY A FELLOW IN DT'S. SENT 2 SECURITY OFFICERS TO THE ED WITH INJURIES. THIS GUY PULLED THE MIRROR OFFA THE WALL ,FLOODED THE ROOM ALONG WITH ALL HIS "ACTING OUT".
    THE MD WOULD NOT ALLOW HIM TO BE SENT TO LA-LA LAND AND ONLY ORDERED ENOUGH HALDOL TO PI$$ OFF THIS GUY. WELL, HAD I BEEN THE MD,I WOULD HAVE SENT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE FOR A BEVRAGE OF THE ALCOHOL FOOD GROUP,WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A P.O. BOLUS AND THEN WOULD HAVE PLACED HIM ON OUR DETOX PROTOCOL...YEAH,WE HAVE A PROTOCOL...AND IT WORKS...IF UTILIZED. WE ALSO HAVE AN ALCOHOLIC TREATMENT FACILITY IN THIS INSTITUTION...THEY REFUSED TO TAKE HIM AS A TRANSFER BECAUSE HE HAD NOT BEEN DE-TOXED. HAVING WORKED THS UNIT PRN,I SAID,...UMMMM...WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT TAKING HIM,....OH,I SEE,ALL THE ACTIVE DRINKERS ARE ADMITTED FOM EVERY CORNER OF THIS STATE, AND YOU CANNOT TAKE HIM BECAUSE HE ISN'T DRINKING...!!!!!!! ALRIGHTY THEN...
    MY POINT...I HOLD THE MD RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING THE KNOWLEDGE OF THIS GUY'S ALCOHOLISM FROM DAY ONE AND FOR IGNORING THE PLEAS OF STAFF TO PLACE HIM ON THE PROTOCOL IMMEDIATELY. IS THIS NOT CALLED NEGLIGENCE AND ISN'T IT A SHAME THAT WE CANNOT INITIATE LITIGATION AGAINST THE MD FOR ENDANGERMENT OF STAFF...
    THERE I GO AGAIN...VERY TIRED...'SCUSE ME...
    WOULD RATHER TAKE CARE OF A PACK OF RABID WOLVES THAN BE "WATCHING " FOR SYMPTOMS OF DT'S AND HAVING REQUESTS FOR ESTABLISHED PROTOCOLS IGNORED. I HAVE ALL IDEAS THESE PATIENTS ARE TRULY SUFFERING,AND IT IS MY JOB TO ALEVIATE THE SYMPTOMS,BUT NO LONGER WILL I RISK MY A$$ OR MY EARNING POTENTIAL DUE TO THE STUPIDITY OF AN EDUCATED IDIOT!!!!!!!!





    I LOVE YOUR POST HONEY, AND I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. I HAVE A FEELING THE EDUCATED IDIOTS ARE MULTIPLYING TOO.God forbid!!!!!
  3. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from suzannasue
    LAST WEEK OUR ENTIRE NIGHT SHIFT WAS "ATTACKED" BY A FELLOW IN DT'S. SENT 2 SECURITY OFFICERS TO THE ED WITH INJURIES. THIS GUY PULLED THE MIRROR OFFA THE WALL ,FLOODED THE ROOM ALONG WITH ALL HIS "ACTING OUT".
    THE MD WOULD NOT ALLOW HIM TO BE SENT TO LA-LA LAND AND ONLY ORDERED ENOUGH HALDOL TO PI$$ OFF THIS GUY. WELL, HAD I BEEN THE MD,I WOULD HAVE SENT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE FOR A BEVRAGE OF THE ALCOHOL FOOD GROUP,WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A P.O. BOLUS AND THEN WOULD HAVE PLACED HIM ON OUR DETOX PROTOCOL...YEAH,WE HAVE A PROTOCOL...AND IT WORKS...IF UTILIZED. WE ALSO HAVE AN ALCOHOLIC TREATMENT FACILITY IN THIS INSTITUTION...THEY REFUSED TO TAKE HIM AS A TRANSFER BECAUSE HE HAD NOT BEEN DE-TOXED. HAVING WORKED THS UNIT PRN,I SAID,...UMMMM...WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT TAKING HIM,....OH,I SEE,ALL THE ACTIVE DRINKERS ARE ADMITTED FOM EVERY CORNER OF THIS STATE, AND YOU CANNOT TAKE HIM BECAUSE HE ISN'T DRINKING...!!!!!!! ALRIGHTY THEN...
    MY POINT...I HOLD THE MD RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING THE KNOWLEDGE OF THIS GUY'S ALCOHOLISM FROM DAY ONE AND FOR IGNORING THE PLEAS OF STAFF TO PLACE HIM ON THE PROTOCOL IMMEDIATELY. IS THIS NOT CALLED NEGLIGENCE AND ISN'T IT A SHAME THAT WE CANNOT INITIATE LITIGATION AGAINST THE MD FOR ENDANGERMENT OF STAFF...
    THERE I GO AGAIN...VERY TIRED...'SCUSE ME...
    WOULD RATHER TAKE CARE OF A PACK OF RABID WOLVES THAN BE "WATCHING " FOR SYMPTOMS OF DT'S AND HAVING REQUESTS FOR ESTABLISHED PROTOCOLS IGNORED. I HAVE ALL IDEAS THESE PATIENTS ARE TRULY SUFFERING,AND IT IS MY JOB TO ALEVIATE THE SYMPTOMS,BUT NO LONGER WILL I RISK MY A$$ OR MY EARNING POTENTIAL DUE TO THE STUPIDITY OF AN EDUCATED IDIOT!!!!!!!!





    Duh wadja say?
  4. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from nightmoves
    "Amputate between ears."
    :lghmky::hehe:And to think they put us nurses down for documenting incorrectly????:hehe::hehe:
  5. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from CashewLPN
    I think at the temp of 200, one should flip the pt over, and baste liberally

    --Barbara
  6. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from mockiern
    betadine douche q hs, with no stop date, and unfortunately this md signed the monthly orders without a d/c to this order, and the staff, had been doing this douche for one year, i took over as rn nurse manager and discovered this order and the fact that of course this woman had lost her normal flora and was left with this horrible smelling green drainage. i arranged transport right to this md's office and made him do a vag culture and let him smell what we dealt with, also told him he better d/c that order, and never trusted his monthly orders again, i found same and similiar mistakes on his just signing his name fast on rounds to the nursing home. not funny but it happened.
    Goog 4 U. He got the right nurse that day.
  7. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from nursem1
    JUst another RN story.....
    I did home care for 11 years and pt. education is a large part of being a visiting nurse. I heard that a new grad who was a RN had told a pt on ATB's to PREVENT A YEAST INFECTION BY SPREADING YOGURT ON HER VAGINA. (lol) (INstead of eating it to promote normal body flora. VERY ODD BUT TRUE.
    I've had that done to me when I had a superinfection from a doc earlier placing me on a weak antibiotic that caused it.
  8. by   psalm
    Quote from Franemtnurse
    I've had that done to me when I had a superinfection from a doc earlier placing me on a weak antibiotic that caused it.
    Yes, just make sure you wait until it is room temperature, or you will regret it. AND make sure it is plain yogurt.
    Last edit by psalm on Jul 26, '08 : Reason: add on
  9. by   sbjohnson
    DISCHARGE ACTIVITY
    Activities: Restrictions: Do not use crack-cocaine.
  10. by   talaxandra
    Quote from psalm
    Yes, just make sure you wait until it is room temperature, or you will regret it. AND make sure it is plain yogurt.
    I was asked by a colleague once what to do for recurrent thrush (and I thought I'd been so discreet - how did she know I'd be just the person to ask) and told her to topically apply yoghurt. I didn't realise I'd have to specify what kind until a couple of days later, when she said to another colleague (gay guy, even less interested in her bits than I), that she'd "been having terrible thrush, but talaxandra told me to use yoghurt and it's been gret. The only problem is the strawberry pieces keep getting caught in my pubes."
  11. by   AliRae
    Where I work these days (which happens to be a ship of the coast of Liberia, which is maybe why people are so nice), we have standard post-op order sets. It's a two-sided form and the surgeon checks the ones he wants. I recently admitted a post-op back to the ward and was transcribing the orders. Flipped the paper over to find it totally blank with a little note scrawled in our chief medical officer's handwriting:

    Hi nurses!
    This one doesn't seem to have printed out on the back. I'm sorry I'm too lazy to go get another form since I already filled the front of this one out. Let's just say standard 'back of the sheet' orders and QD wound care, shall we? I'll take the staples out in a week or so.

    Thanks!
    Dr. Gary.

    That man is a gem.
  12. by   marachne
    Not an order, but in a note. This is in a VA hospital, and was about one of our Viet Nam era vets who went off to live in the woods (I mean literally!) He had been living out in the mountains in the woods for the past 10 years until intractable n/v brought him in to our hospice unit with cancer so widespread it was hard to determine the primary.

    In the SW admission note, under source of income was "occasional pot farming."
    Last edit by marachne on Jul 27, '08 : Reason: grammer
  13. by   trudlebug
    <CITE class=smallfont>Originally Posted by ArmyKitten</CITE>
    We have a staff doc that is nearing 105 and now finds his daily joy in writing orders in the most creative manor possible. His latest creation is writing "squeezies to legs" instead of SCDs. This is the same doc that draws a smiley face on the steristrips of every surgical patient he has. Last week I noticed that not only did he draw a smiley face on a lap appy pt, but he made a speech bubble on the steristrip next to it with the word "ouch" written in. Oh my.


    Originally Posted by Franemtnurse:
    :lol_hitti
    :hehe:Sounds like the old boy has entered his second or third childhood. Love it.!!!


    I think I know this doc. If it is the same one (99% sure) He is a pediatric surgeon who is on the general surgical team now. He didn't do lap-appy's either, it's just his incision was just that small (couldn't have used a scope with only one incision). And always wrote "ouch" on his dressings (probably a habit from working with so many kids). He was an interesting character for sure! He had a lot of interesting experiences and stories, unfortunately he always wanted to tell them during shift change or med pass, with a lot of details. A lot of the younger nurses didn't appreciate the experience he had, and would avoid him. That's too bad, because I learned a lot from him. He treated us like part of the team, unlike many of the surgical staff who thought we were there to "serve" them.

    BTW he was probably in his 70s, still active-duty military and refused a promotion that would take him away from his patients.
    Last edit by trudlebug on Jul 29, '08

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