Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

LAST WEEK OUR ENTIRE NIGHT SHIFT WAS "ATTACKED" BY A FELLOW IN DT'S. SENT 2 SECURITY OFFICERS TO THE ED WITH INJURIES. THIS GUY PULLED THE MIRROR OFFA THE WALL ,FLOODED THE ROOM ALONG WITH ALL HIS "ACTING OUT".

THE MD WOULD NOT ALLOW HIM TO BE SENT TO LA-LA LAND AND ONLY ORDERED ENOUGH HALDOL TO PI$$ OFF THIS GUY. WELL, HAD I BEEN THE MD,I WOULD HAVE SENT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE FOR A BEVRAGE OF THE ALCOHOL FOOD GROUP,WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A P.O. BOLUS AND THEN WOULD HAVE PLACED HIM ON OUR DETOX PROTOCOL...YEAH,WE HAVE A PROTOCOL...AND IT WORKS...IF UTILIZED. WE ALSO HAVE AN ALCOHOLIC TREATMENT FACILITY IN THIS INSTITUTION...THEY REFUSED TO TAKE HIM AS A TRANSFER BECAUSE HE HAD NOT BEEN DE-TOXED. HAVING WORKED THS UNIT PRN,I SAID,...UMMMM...WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT TAKING HIM,....OH,I SEE,ALL THE ACTIVE DRINKERS ARE ADMITTED FOM EVERY CORNER OF THIS STATE, AND YOU CANNOT TAKE HIM BECAUSE HE ISN'T DRINKING...!!!!!!! ALRIGHTY THEN...

MY POINT...I HOLD THE MD RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING THE KNOWLEDGE OF THIS GUY'S ALCOHOLISM FROM DAY ONE AND FOR IGNORING THE PLEAS OF STAFF TO PLACE HIM ON THE PROTOCOL IMMEDIATELY. IS THIS NOT CALLED NEGLIGENCE AND ISN'T IT A SHAME THAT WE CANNOT INITIATE LITIGATION AGAINST THE MD FOR ENDANGERMENT OF STAFF...

THERE I GO AGAIN...VERY TIRED...'SCUSE ME...

WOULD RATHER TAKE CARE OF A PACK OF RABID WOLVES THAN BE "WATCHING " FOR SYMPTOMS OF DT'S AND HAVING REQUESTS FOR ESTABLISHED PROTOCOLS IGNORED. I HAVE ALL IDEAS THESE PATIENTS ARE TRULY SUFFERING,AND IT IS MY JOB TO ALEVIATE THE SYMPTOMS,BUT NO LONGER WILL I RISK MY A$$ OR MY EARNING POTENTIAL DUE TO THE STUPIDITY OF AN EDUCATED IDIOT!!!!!!!!

:( :(

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Specializes in NICU.

Imagine being a nursing student helping to pass out lunch trays and coming across one with 2 cans of beer on it. Made sense once the charge nurse told me why it was there, but really surprised me! I also remember a comatose man in the ICU that was getting whiskey through his NG tube.

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One of my favorites...... 3H enema.... High, hot, and hell of alot.

For the chronically constipated pt, I guess.

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Here's a rather annoying order written by a first-year resident, on the floor of all places:

Nitropaste 1.5 inches to chest wall, q6h (fair enough so far),

"TITRATE" to SBP> 90 by wiping off 1/4 inch at a time.

How many of you folks have the time to stand by the bedside and take serial BP's when you have 10-14 patients all calling for you, just so you can "titrate" Nitropaste? :rolleyes:

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about the dumbest order I ever got was one asking for a u/a on an anuric pt! uh-DUH!!!

Geesh......:p

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This wasn't an order a Dr wrote but was a diagnosis on an ER chart. Female patient came in with an ulcer on her leg...badly infected. On the er record our doc wrote for diagnosis...copious xxx drainage..ha ha ha totally left off where ...laughed until we cried. Next time he worked of course we brought it to his attention. The look on his face was priceless. Afterall you cannot alter a permanent record. Also had an elderly doc running through nurses station give a verbal order of " Swab so and so's mouth q 4 hrs with glycerin suppository " . At the time both day and night shift there for report and one of our surgeons..had a good laugh at the poor dears expense..course this is same doc that asked us one morning if the patient from the funeral home came yet .ha ha ha

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Specializes in LTC, MDS/careplans, Unit Manager.

I had a patient in the LTC facility that received 30cc whiskey PRN. He had drank 5 fifths a week for the past 50 years. His Physician said if she cut him off now he would die! It was kinda funny, he would come up to the nurses station like it was the bar and ask for his "shot".

Shari

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Originally posted by Yeti1313LPN

From tonights shift

--Psychic consult

--phisic consult

--Barbara

that is a good one!!:D

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In the same vein chatty.

Once while being a brand new RN doing homecare I called a physician to report worsening sob in an end stage COPD-er. Her sat was 78% and her lips blue tinged. She adamently refused to go to the ER.

He asked if there were any beers in the fridge. While looking, I tried my darndest to figure out the reason for the odd request. When I got back to the phone I said "yes, there's some Coors light in the fridge". He said "What are you waiting for? Give her 1 or 2, whatever, and then call me." Magically, after 3/4 of a beer she slowed her rate down and could concentrate on pursed lip breathing which she couldn't do before because of anxiety. Her lips pinked and her sat climbed back to her usual 89%. My only reaction at the time was....wow, the things they DON"T teach you in nursing college. :eek:

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One doctor kept writing the same order every day, because we never carried it out - U/A and C7S for a dialysis patient, and he complained to the N/M that we were refusing to implement his orders! the other funny order was as follows:

Foley catheter

Low continuous suction

on a 26 y.o. male patient! Poor guy!

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--MVI with vitamins.

--Barbara

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The weirdest I encountered was coffee enema Q1... and it had to be brewed, not instant coffee.... and we did it!!!

.....imagine having your butt having a coffee break...

:D

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