Celebrate Womanhood!

  1. Joys of Womanhood
    Brilliant Woman Author Unknown


    Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.




    One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.



    My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.



    The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.



    The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.



    The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.



    Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.



    Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.



    I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.



    Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!



    Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat."
    Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.



    A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.





    The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.



    I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.



    I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.



    Celebrate Womanhood!
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  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   renerian
    I like the candy one HOW TRUE!

    renerian
  4. by   jnette
    "My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely."

    sounds VERY familiar to me... I often get those blank stares that last about 30-60 seconds ... I've heard them referred to as "mini seizures", but I always thought my mind just needed to take a quick "time-out" ! A "regenerating break" ... no?

    I guess that only happens to those extremely GIFTED ppl, whose minds are always so "busy"....
  5. by   nowplayingEDRN
    Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!
    This one is also way too true...
  6. by   acuteobrn
    Originally posted by UntamedSpirit


    I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.



    [/B]



    Also my idea of a perrfect day!!!

  7. by   funnygirl_rn
    These were cute!
  8. by   PamLPN
    All of it so true!! You hit the nail on the head!!
  9. by   gwenith
    Twue too Twue!!

    :roll::roll:
  10. by   chiefswife
    A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.
    I've given birth to a single baby and two sets of twins - now I know why!

    :roll :roll :roll
  11. by   nowplayingEDRN
    Sara......



    Too funny!!

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