I'm leaving my first nursing job after 6 months, any advice?

[yng65]

I was a new grad and hired in ICU 6 months ago. I went through the orientation and now I was given the options to resign or be terminated if I can't work independently in next 2 weeks. She said she wasn't very hopeful that I could prove it to her. I used 200% of my effort for this job and did best I could do in my ability, I really don't know what else I can do. I am a hard worker and my manager admits it, too. Obviously, I was not good enough. I feel being a failire and have been very exhausted after using all my emotional energy last 6 months. Working in ICU wasn't my first choice during my nursing school and I accepted the job because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get a job at that time and the experience would be a great asset for my future. Although I knew it would be a big challenge for me and wasn't my dream job, I worked very hard and kept pushing myself "I think I can, I think I can..." Who was I kidding...? I have been depressed last 2-3 months. My day offs were for studying critical nursing and mending the broken pieces of my confidence, no social life. I'm going back to work next Tuesday but I'm so afraid and nervous. I used up all my positive thinking right now. I didn't harm patients during my orientation but I don't have strong confidence anymore after the meeting I had w/ my manager. I am more toward to resign myself after next week assignments. Any advice for me going through my last week assignments?

[WannaBNursey, ADN, ASN, RN]

I don't have experience as a nurse, but just a somebody who has almost been fired before, take your 6 months of experience and RUN, don't walk. If they already spoke to you about letting you go, beat them to the punch. The manager said they didn't have any other availabilities, so find another hospital. Say that this new place is closer or you heard such good things etc. You now have some experience! It should be a little bit easier to find a job this time around, just because of your ICU experience. Good luck, I feel so bad for you, but I'm glad you shared your story, you'll make it out of this alive! Now I know not to go into any type of intensive care right out of Nursing school.