My conundrum

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    I have not been on this bb for a long time because it sometimes hurts too much to see all I have had to give up. Am glad to find that they introduced this forum (I remember asking Brian several years ago-- but the site has grown so much since then) I have been a nurse as long as I can remember. I have been on SS disability for almost 5 years now. I have so many different dxs that I need a wheelbarrow to carry all my medical records.

    I hate not being able to work. I feel that part of my personality has been amputated at times. There are so many times--when I feel ok--that I look through the ads or the internet dreaming of working again. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I had obtained my BSN (after being LPN and then ADN for many years). I was very proud to reach this milestone--as I had been in nursing education and this would open other doors for me. I went into education when I could no longer work on unit anymore. Anyway I digress--I now am looking at a 20,000$ student loan for a degree I can't use. If i try to find something part time that utilizes my knowledge and experience--I have to pay this loan (have already gone through bankruptcy but they don't discharge student loans). I can't possibly make as much as I get on disability and then add an extra 500 payment to my bills and I would be living in street with my family.

    In order to get a medical discharge for student loan my Dr. has to say that I can never work in any capacity. I don't feel morally right about this. I have so much knowledge and experince that screams to leave my mind and share. There has to be something I can do in this wide nursing world. BUt then I come back to having to pay my loan.

    I have been rambling on long enough. For anyone still with me at this point--I thank you. All I do know is that I am still a Nurse. It is as much a part of me as being a mother, wife, daughter, and friend.
    sharona97 likes this.
  2. 18 Comments so far...

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    Are there any nursing schools nearby? You could put up ads (with the school's permission) at the schools and offer your services as a tutor for nursing students. Get with someone in the faculty so that you have up to date syllabi for the courses you would be helping with. Save up any money you earn doing this and when you have enough, pay off that loan. Just a thought. Seems like such a waste to let your knowledge and experience go to waste.
    psalm likes this.
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    Quote from zumalong
    In order to get a medical discharge for student loan my Dr. has to say that I can never work in any capacity...I don't feel morally right about this. I have so much knowledge and experince that screams to leave my mind and share. There has to be something I can do in this wide nursing world. BUt then I come back to having to pay my loan.

    I have been rambling on long enough. For anyone still with me at this point--I thank you. All I do know is that I am still a Nurse. It is as much a part of me as being a mother, wife, daughter, and friend.
    I'm not sure of exact figures but I believe that if you are making less than 60% of what you were then they still figure you are disabled. I don't know. I am in the final stages of this - supposedly will know within 90 days or less.

    I had been out of work since Oct 03, been working part time as a clerk in a Salvation Army for a year and a half. Just been working my way back up to being able to work, and hopefully will be able to do nursing again someday. I have the ability quandary and will also have the financial and moral quandary, I sure appreciate how you feel because I feel that way too - I can't just sit on my duff if I am able to do otherwise, and I adore being able to use my skills somehow (it's one reason I stay connected to AN).

    Anyway if I don't come back to this thread remind me to tell you the outcome!

    Good luck!
    sharona97 likes this.
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    Zoe- please let me know what you find out. If I can return to work I won't even be making anywhere near 60% because I could only handle a few hours per week- right now i am making 1/6 of what i was before I had hip replacement. I have RA, and very severe asthma---so I end up in hosp alot.

    I have to find someone who can give me an answer about my SL--if I did go back to work I would not make nearly enough to cover payment. There is a fund set up for nursing instructors that would cover the loan--but you have to work a certain amount of hours--and I can't meet that quota. I can't do any clinical and if I did go back to teaching it would be sporadic--.

    Thanks for your input.
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    Quote from zumalong
    Thanks for your input.
    Will do dollink.

    I think it's interesting that the ppwk and instructions they send you do not spell that out. Everywhere it says if you are "able to work in any capacity" you are not eligible. But I do remember hearing or reading that somewhere - I think in the process of my applying.

    Well, we will see. I'll try to remember to let you know - and vice versa - ok?
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    So glad to see the many posts regarding eager attempts to return to nursing and the pit falls one can entail following disability. I've been disabled for a long time with Asthma. Lots of meds.....I wanted to return and contribute either for my sanity or at best, use what intellect I have left. I returned to University of Delaware on line, did my Clinical rotation and SSI said I can return however, I can only have an increased income of 650.00 per month for the first nine months or I'll loose my disability and Medicare A&B. My previous positions I was a CCRN, always worked in critical care cert in Trauma. So, now what do you put on your resume???? Who would consider hiring me for a few hrs a week and not go over the limits I'm held too. It costly for orientation programs and it doesn't sound feasable for any Community home care or any other part time hands on nursing job to offer such a position. I prefer per diem but there's not much out there. I've been looking. It has to be hands on care as I know someone in research who now has to go back to school to renew her RN license.
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    Quote from siamese4me
    It has to be hands on care as I know someone in research who now has to go back to school to renew her RN license.
    Is that because she has been on inactive status so long?

    I'm curious if that will be the case for me.

    Thanks siamese
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    Hi Zoeboboey
    Apparently, the nurse I mentioned has been working in research and did not have direct patient care. It is my understanding that she has to return for one semester to ensure renewal of her license.
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    Quote from siamese4me
    Hi Zoeboboey
    Apparently, the nurse I mentioned has been working in research and did not have direct patient care. It is my understanding that she has to return for one semester to ensure renewal of her license.
    That's too bad - but I guess it is to protect the public from nurses who would go back out on the floors and do unsafe care. Bummer for her though.

    Thanks Siamese.
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    Quote from zumalong
    Zoe- please let me know what you find out. If I can return to work I won't even be making anywhere near 60% because I could only handle a few hours per week- right now i am making 1/6 of what i was before I had hip replacement. I have RA, and very severe asthma---so I end up in hosp alot.

    I have to find someone who can give me an answer about my SL--if I did go back to work I would not make nearly enough to cover payment. There is a fund set up for nursing instructors that would cover the loan--but you have to work a certain amount of hours--and I can't meet that quota. I can't do any clinical and if I did go back to teaching it would be sporadic--.

    Thanks for your input.

    Well I got my pardon today - they agreed that I have total and permanent disability re my student loans. I was on a 3 yr conditional discharge where they did not require any pmts, while they continued to collect information (over and over, from every single provider who has ever seen me, over the course of 3 yrs).

    So - I have $21,000 worth of debt off my shoulders. I feel actually sad and kind of ashamed - like, I should have been able to honor my debt. But I do know I did the best I could to continue working as a nurse, and now, able to work only 29 hrs at a minimum wage job, there is no way I could pay on a student loan. I am very blessed to be capable of doing what I am doing.

    I would love to compare a CT of my head to a previous one I had before I had to stop nursing! I bet there is an actual diminishing of function, sigh... all the meds I have been on, I swear there has been brain cell damage!!

    Sigh... sometimes it's hard when you get what you need.
    sharona97 likes this.


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