i'm bipolar, and for the last week and a half had not slept or eaten, though at least i hadn't reached the point of pressured jabbering, delusions and hallucinations. i have only had one manic episode before, and i was suspecting another one was coming on.
anyways, my psychiatrist prescribed me some new meds-i knew i needed to sleep at the very least. i read up on it-seroquel, and it sounded like for at least the first day most people describe feeling like sedated zombies.
i got the seroquel the day before one of my last clinicals, and i took the ci aside and told her i didn't feel i would be a safe nurse if i had taken it the night before for the very first time. i was like, if i won't be able to pass the course i'll put off starting it til the weekend, but if i can pass i need to start them before i become totally insane. and in any case, at that point my hands were shaking and i was lightheaded from lack of sleep and noursishment-also not safe nursing behavior.
i even showed her the prescription i'd just filled the hour before and its side effects sheet.
she was all, "you're smart, and you know doctors will prescribe anything. i wouldn't trust them"
???? i had dimly hoped she might be glad that i'd showed the good judgment to know when i wouldn't be a safe nurse and to stay away.
and then she was like 'thats your choice, but you know it will still be in your system for 10 days after. in that case you won't be safe for your peds clinicals next week.' huh???????? anyways, she's not the peds ci thankfully.
i hadn't told anyone at school about my mental health issues before. it hadn't seemed necessary. but now she knows. and what a poor mental health ally she has turned out to be. sadly i'm not even that surprised, so many of my nursing instructors have shown much disdain for medical doctors and medications-as far as they themselves are concerned. its like they're on some pedestal above all of our patients. is this common?