The most outrageous excuses from patients. - page 3

I know there are a lot of outrageous excuses from patients. Please share them! Click Like if you enjoyed it. Please share this with friends and post your comments below! Want more nursing cartoons? About A Nursing... Read More

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    "I have no idea how that got in there!" Mr. Smith there seems to be a long serpentine necklace in your bladder.

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    Psychotic patient (who happens to be a practicing MD) has been drinking water & juice all night long. At 0615, pt states "I can't take my morning pills. I have dry mouth syndrome so I can't talk right now or take any pills."
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    Dont prick me, dont have veins -
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    Quote from DeLanaHarvickWannabe
    Remember the Seinfeld episode with gonorrhea transmitted via tractor? Hahaha!

    The other gentleman was sleeping well when awoken by a vibration in his belly. He immediately knew what had happened - his silly cousin had slipped a vibrator in there as a prank. So, naturally, he had to get that thing out of there...using, what else...a fork! He actually didn't need a colostomy, just an ex lap.

    I miss being an inner city surgical nurse. Really, and truly I do.
    Um, the words "cousin" and "slipped a vibrator" do NOT belong in the same sentence!!! And, in the belly? Really?
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    Quote from TracyE78
    Um, the words "cousin" and "slipped a vibrator" do NOT belong in the same sentence!!! And, in the belly? Really?
    It was up his behind. And he supposedly awoke because of the vibrations going through to his stomach. Apparently his family liked to play jokes on one another. That is one family reunion that should be televised.
    Hygiene Queen and cp1024 like this.
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    That is too funny. Whoops!!!!
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    When questioned about a drug screen positive for cocaine, pt. states, "I must have gotten that off a toilet seat!" I replied, "Yeah, doing lines off a toilet seat." That got me a dirty look.
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    "My father ran out of his BP pills, so he hasn't taken it in two months." I understand, I said, as the Doctor told you, his troponin is high, which is indicative of some cardiac damage. I was thinking to myself, you didn't bother to refill your father's (who lives with you) medication for two months, and caused him to have a heart attack, you jack a--.
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    "I don't know how the cocaine got into my system. Someone must have sprinkled it in my salad."
    BlueBow and DeLanaHarvickWannabe like this.

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