In 10/09 I was hired as a graduate nurse at a fairly large hospital. I was hired into the float pool, which made things even harder since I had to know different procedures for different units, etc. My preceptor operated on mostly negative reinforcement which made my orientation a nightmare. In any event, I made it through on 2/10 and have since been succefully taking care of patient assignments. My supervisor and co-workers seem happy with my work and everything seemed fine. I was always stone-cold sober, on top of my game, and ready for work. I should also mention my PCP prescribed some Xanax and Ambien for me to compare to see what worked best for my chronic insomnia. I chose Ambien and always awoke rested and refreshed for work.
Unfounately, around 3/15 I started acting loopy: driving in for work in the morning when I work the night shift, acting strange during reports, etc. I couldn't understand what was wrong. My night supervisor thought I was on drugs and sent me to the ER for evaluation and a blood draw. As it turns out, I had been hit by a virus (probably at work) that had decimated my kidneys and put me into acute renal failure (ARF). My BUN and creatinine levels were eight times the normal level and there was also damage to the left ventricle of my heart. I was placed in the progressive care unit (PCU), a unit for people who are more critical than those on a med-surgical floor.
For four days, the docs didn't know if the damage was permanent (making me a permanent dialysis pt), though the cardiologist said there was a good chance that my heart would get at least 80% of its function back with beta-blocker therapy. A kidney biopsy two days later revealed Acute Tubular Necrosis (ATN), a reversible condition in which the body repairs itself and the tubules regenerate. As you can imagine, I was quite relieved.
After all this, the docs wanted to send me down to mental health for three days. I was incensed and couldn't understand why they would be sending down there when I just wanted to go home and recuperate. Turns out that immediately upon getting down there, the head psychiatrist converted my involuntary status to voluntary status and explained he wanted me there so he could officially put into the record that my loopy behavior was the result of my medical condition. In other words, he wanted to ensure the safety of my career.
Now to the chase. Two days later I had a follow-up visit with a mental health social worker. She wanted to know my drug-taking history--and instead of being smart and lying through my teeth--I was a dummy and told her about all the stuff I did when I was young and reckless 25 years ago. I also told her about my cocaine addiction, which I successfully quit cold-turkey two years ago (Jan 2008) and haven't touched since. My current drug usage is about four beers a week, maybe two during dinner on my days off.
A day later she called saying she wanted to put me in an impaired nurse program . What?! I'm clean, sober, and no longer use drugs. She mentioned benzos showing up on the toxicology screen (for which I had a prescription) and also said that marijuana showed up as well (a bald-faced lie since I haven't used pot in almost six years). I immediately drafted a notarized letter dictating that she no longer could share information with other health care workers. I also called my union rep who labeled this individual a "crackpot," who appears to be railroading people like me into such programs because--let's face it--addiction recovery is a big business racket.
In any event, I have a another followup with my PCP on 4/19, and he has these recommendations on his desk. It's his decision whether I be placed--clean and sober--into an impaired nurse program. Of course, my license will be affected adversely, getting jobs will be next to impossible, and I'll be sitting in groups with people who don't realize they can quit their addiction by just stopping putting **** up their noses, in their veins, or down their throats.
I'm not in recovery. I'm recovered. I'm sober. I am not an impaired nurse and I refuse to enter such a program. My doctor is a reasonable guy, I don't think he wants to wreck my career. I'm a good nurse (for a beginner), but I will quit the profession if they do this.
Sorry about the rant, but I needed to get this off my chest and maybe some opinions.
