Just want to share for once

michigooseBSN · Jan 17, 2011

Mona1023, I'll take a stab at answering your question from my point of view, bearing in mind that there is no one definitive definition. I think it is when a user (of alcohol or drugs, it doesn't matter which or if both) abstains from all use of the substance but does not change the person who came into the program. That may be called sobriety but not recovery. Recovery depends on working to change oneself. That is, what personality defects, outside circumstances, etc caused the substance abuse in the first place. I think every recovering person I have heard speak during my 18 year journey in recovery has spoken of painful feeling that were self medicated with drugs and/or alcohol because there seemed no other way to escape them or survive them. Feelings like anger, self loathing, fear, poor self-esteem. loneliness. I know this certainly applied to me. But in recovery (in AA in my case although I used both alcohol and drugs) I learned many healthy tools for dealing with things I didn't want to feel without needing to pick up a drink or other unhealthy substance. Dry drunks don't drink but often still experience uncontrollable anger, fear, self-centeredness etc. They still usually keep secrets, have problems with relationships and with a healthy balanced self-image. So that's my two cents worth. If you have other questions, fire away.

mona1023 · Jan 17, 2011

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I guess that is what I had difficulty understanding-or maybe accepting would be a better word. When I was sober before, there were some things I didn't like about myself and feelings I didn't want to feel (it's the same way now), and I Have to admit that I wish that abstinence was enough. I don't share at meetings 98% of the time because I am not sure what to say and I have a real problem with trust. It is a miracle I am even writing this. I am reading the daily meditations and attend a wonderful church that helps so I have much to be grateful for. I try not to worry about the future-specifically working but I have to work eventually due to financial concerns. I have applied for unemployment but haven't heard anything yet. According to one ISNAP caseworker, other nurses in Indiana who are in ISNAP have received unemployment. I am hoping I can get something.

michigooseBSN · Jan 17, 2011

Mona, Don't worry if you don't feel like speaking at meetings. Just try to listen with an open mind and try to identify (see similarities) rather than compare. Listen to what people say about feelings and how they deal with them in recovery. I hear a lot of people that I could compare myself to (usually to my disadvantage) but when I listen for similarities I ALWAYS find them. They may have done different things than I did but almost always for the same reasons I did them. And keep an eye out for someone ( a woman if you are a woman or a man if you are a man) who has the kind of sobriety and recovery that you want. That is the person to get to know and even perhaps eventually ask to be your sponsor. But there is no hurry. Just be a sponge and listen and listen. Old timers often say "take the cotton our of your ears and put it in your mouth" And by all means, share here at allnurses.com if that feels safer than person to person for now.

Baubo516, RN · Jan 17, 2011

I don't have much to add in the way of facts, but I just want to let you know that I will be praying for you. My sister is a recovering alcoholic and I think the only way I was ever able to help her was to pray. She is doing well, by the way. There is hope!

TXRN2 · Jan 18, 2011

mona- michiegoose has given you some valuable information. this is also my 2nd time through a monitoring program. the first time, i was always compliant, did everything i had to- but, like you, i didn't "get" it. i never got a sponsor, never worked all the steps, never dealt with all the issues that created my problem to begin with. when my monitoring period was up, i quit going to meetings, stayed sober for a while, but eventually relapsed. this time, i knew i had to do it differently if i wanted to actually recover. keep doing what you are doing, stay sober, go to meetings, keep an open mind, find a sponsor to walk you through the steps- and DO THEM!! they are the pathway to recovery!!! best of luck, may God bless you!!

mona1023 · Jan 20, 2011

Hello- I received a nice post from another ISNAP participant, but I have mispalced the email address you provided. Please send me another private message so I can respond to you.