Hi Parn! Take a deep breath and tell yourself, "it is going to be ok".
Like Austin said, start following an honest program and all things will fall into place.
My experience was this....
Charged with two misdemeanors. Went to court after I had already reported to PNAP and Rehab. I had no prior criminal record, confessed to everything, went to rehab, going to meetings, had a sponsor, home group all of that before I even went to court. The judge offered me ARD. I was NOT convicted, nor did I have to plead guilty or no solo. It was ARD with 6 months probation. After 6 months, my fines were paid, probation was over, I didn't get into any trouble. The charges were dropped and my record is being expunged.
I don't believe PNAP can deny you. However, a criminal conviction, guilty plea will determine whether PHMP monitors you, or you get placed in the DMU (disciplinary monitoring unit) for monitoring. I believe with the DMU you usually have probationary licence and/or action against your licence. This is MY understanding.
I was very fortunate. I have not had any trouble with PNAP. I think this program is a God send! I have been in the PHMP for one year. I have to call first lab M-F. I get drug tested about twice per month. Monthly progress reports get sent to PNAP and quarterly reports from my employer. I must attend a minimum of 3 AA/NA meetings a week.
It is only 3 years. And personally, I am thankful for the extra accountability. I am greatful for the monitoring program and this is all a very small price to pay to keep the initials RN after my name.
God bless all of you in and just starting recovery. It is very scary in the beginning. The unknown terrified me. But I personally got down on the ground and surrendered my life over to a God of my understanding and prayed for him to help me.
I follow an honest program, started doing the next right thing, and my life all just fell into place.
So, stand up, brush yourself off, and smile. This is your new start.