Does anyone else feel violated? - page 3

Per the rules of my contract I have to attend AA or NA at least 3 times weekly for the duration of my contract. I am struggling with the meetings, let alone the others in attendance there. I am not saying I'm better than anyone... Read More

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    HunnieBadger: don't engage the idiots. Walk calmly through the hoops and do this YOUR way. Anger can be positive! The recovery machine is a for-profit industry with its only backbone being a creepy religious cult of powerless sheep. Take that rage and use it to rise above the machine. Play a good defense, block and cover the idiots, as you run for the goal. Don't let anyone pull rank and play moral boot-camp with you. No one in recovery is superior to anyone else. Find your allies and keep them close. Deflect the idiots!

    Keep fighting and kicking to stay who you are. The recovery machine tries to take that away from you. Don't let it. Stay sober and stay angry if that's what works for YOU, for now, for the future, forever if necessary!
    all_over_again and HunnieBadger like this.

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    Quote from VivaLasViejas
    "I fear that the anger you feel about your alleged victimization by the monitoring agency is considerably stronger than your commitment to staying clean, and things will NOT go well for you if you continue in this mindset."
    I was not thrilled with all requirements of my monitoring program but sucked it up & got my license clean again.

    I understand Viva's concern about the OP but think that it is a bit of a leap to go from "feeling violated" to not being committed to recovery. Just because a person is an addict and transgresses, it is not fair that they lose all human consideration. Criminals have more legally protected human rights than nurses who are being punished in an administrative law venue.

    That being said, no one said that life was fair and anyone who diverts has caused his or her own consequences. I see no need to celebrate that addicted nurses are treated like human trash, however.

    Esme12 and morte like this.
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    If, in an attempt to help, more problems are made, what do we do? If you "force" a person to attend a religious program when it is against their belief system, how is this a good thing? The whole idea is to return them to professional function, correct? what other way can we do this?
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    Last edit by VivaLasViejas on Mar 10, '13 : Reason: discretion is the better part of valor.
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    Quote from HunnieBadger
    Per the rules of my contract I have to attend AA or NA at least 3 times weekly for the duration of my contract. I am struggling with the meetings, let alone the others in attendance there. I am not saying I'm better than anyone let me make that clear! I have no desire for the meetings, do not find them helpful, and a waste of my time. I feel like a fraud among them. I find myself wanting to use sitting around all these dry drunks if you will. The fact I'm being forced to do so or lose my licensure is not fair at all. I have found intensive outpatient therapy helpful and think it's a far better fit for learning and re-learning coping skills. But to be sentenced to a meeting that I can't find anything good in is killing me and I feel like my first amendment rights have been violated. Not to mention there are NO proven, evidence based studies that show AA works. Yea they say it, but if you look at their drop out rates they don't correlate! I know I can get an attorney...this is more food for thought, because I don't want to drink the cults kool-aid...
    I think if I wanted to keep my license I would do whatever was necessary regardless of whether I felt it was "not helpful" and a "waste of my time" while I found myself "wanting to use" just being around the stress of the other "dry drunks"....I mean members. That alone would tell me I needed some more therapy to give me the coping mechanisms necessary to deal with stress without wanting to use.

    I don't think it matters about what "evidence based" studies do or do not exist...this is the path that the board prescribed/required of me and I would have to realize that there are consequences to my actions and if sitting somewhere 3 days a week is one of them....then sitting somewhere 3 days a week is what I would do.

    You are exercising your first amendment rights by voicing your discord.
    The 5 First Amendment Freedoms

    The First Amendment says that people have the right to speak freely without government interference.

    The First Amendment gives the press the right to publish news, information and opinions without government interference. This also means people have the right to publish their own newspapers, newsletters, magazines, etc.

    The First Amendment prohibits government from establishing a religion and protects each person's right to practice (or not practice) any faith without government interference.

    The First Amendment says that people have the right to appeal to government in favor of or against policies that affect them or that they feel strongly about. This freedom includes the right to gather signatures in support of a cause and to lobby legislative bodies for or against legislation.

    The First Amendment says that people have the right to gather in public to march, protest, demonstrate, carry signs and otherwise express their views in a nonviolent way. It also means people can join and associate with groups and organizations without interference.

    You can get a lawyer and petition the board to change their requirements.

    I am so sorry you are going through this and sometimes the consequences to our actions can be a bitter pill to swallow.....but we have to chug it down anyhow. I think there are a bunch of really bright people that care about you and while some things might be difficult to hear they are only meant to helps us be better.

    I wish you the best in your recovery...((HUGS))
    marycarney, TXRN2, poppycat, and 2 others like this.
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    I still have the chance to be prosecuted, it's a constant thought. The program is for the BON, not a get out of jail free card. And criminal or not I still have rights that can and have been violated, wether my stating that makes me seem like I'm a victim or not. So yes VIOLATED, REALLY...
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    I believe that your anger is justified. It all has to do with the stages of grief. Anger is an important part of your recovery.....a motivator. It's a true emotion that you are allowed to feel regardless of the cause. I encourage you to voice your concerns on this thread. Your anger will dissipate and you'll feel better about your situation. It just takes time. Soon you will forgive yourself and feel a weight lift off your shoulders. But for now, hold onto those feelings and use them to your advantage. One thing you should always remember, this is YOUR recovery. No one can tell you how to lead it but yourself. One last thing, the humiliation and feeling of being violated will dissolve. Always be honest with yourself and you'll do just fine. I wish you only the best.

    I've always believed that its not what you say, it's how you say it. So, our comments to other recovering nurses should be helpful and know who you are.
    Esme12 likes this.
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    Winter, thank you. Not only for understanding but the advice as well, thank you.

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